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How soon should I disclose?


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I've been dating a guy for about three weeks. I really like him. We've gone on three dates, & we talk almost every day.

The last time we were together, things got physical & we made out. So now I'm wondering when I should tell him I have HSV-2.

The last guy I told threw it back in my face & said I was "lucky" he was even having sex with me. I don't want that experience again. How soon is too soon to tell this new guy? I know I definitely want to be honest and upfront and tell him before clothes come off. I need advice!

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Yeah.  Don't take clothes off then disclose.  I think it is a personal choice.  He decides to get emotionally attached, not you.  

If it were me, I would do it whenever I felt the right time was.  Not in public.  Not near sexy time.  Maybe you invite him for lunch at your place or something.  I think the most important thing is telling him how you will protect him.  

For some, it is too much.  Some folks on here judge people for lack of the acceptance of the risks(however minimal they may be)

I would expect him to accept the risks.  But some like me may not.

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i like to disclose early. I have told 4 guys and only had one reject me, but even he was quite nice about it. One I haven't slept with, but we are going on a date on the weekend. It just depends when it feels right for you. I choose to do it quite early because i don't want to get attached then rejected. Everyone is different. I definitely think the way you tell some one makes a massive difference. 

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    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @Lcj987 and welcome to the website. You can be sure that isn't HSV-2, looks nothing like it. It is much more likely to be folliculitis or inflamed fordyce spots.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @JackThrowAway herpes causes an outbreak where it enters the body first and maybe a progressive spread. If it doesn't cause an outbreak at the entry site then it won't cause one elsewhere, it also won't 'jump' upon infection - it would be more likely that the lesions are continuous from the penis to the anus. Nevertheless, testing trumps symptoms or any interpretation of symptoms. The correct conclusive result arises when: you have a positive swab; or An IgG HSV-2 level over 3.5 (Herpeselect test).
    • Lcj987
      Slept with someone unprotected, roughly 2 weeks ago now. I felt generally unwell the couple of days after but I’d been drinking the whole weekend and didn’t have much sleep either of the days of that weekend so put it down to that. 6 days after I noticed these spots appear on the shaft of my penis. Along with symptoms of discomfort in my shaft in the couple of days prior to them appearing. No pain when urinating at all that I have noticed. They don’t hurt, itch or tingle and they don’t have fluid in from what I can see or feel if I squeeze them and have never burst? I went to a sexual health clinic to get checked up, they took bloods to do a full test and looked at the spots but said they saw nothing that concerned them but I’m not sure about that, any advice? The smaller spots under the shaft are just follicles I had diagnosed years ago and non-sti related.
    • JackThrowAway
      She tested positive for HSV2. No, there was nothing of that sort in that area.   However I also have ulcerative colitis so I’m on medication that makes me immunosuppressed. I have been bleeding a bit when I pass stools during the time of redness, so I’m unsure if I’m getting a flare from the colitis (from all the stress of everything) or if it’s due to the virus making it’s way to an already inflamed area and popping up as blisters that I can’t see and hence the bleeding.    I had two equivocal results (at 4 weeks and 6 weeks) that then went to a positive result (7 weeks after exposure). Combine that with some flu symptoms, redness, tingling etc. makes me feel it’s conclusive that this points to a hsv2 infection.
    • Anonimus
      Thanks!!!!! I appreciate your help.
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