Constantly scared

[Squids]

I never really post on here...I never know what to say. But I need y'alls support. I'm constantly afraid that I've given this to everyone around me. I had my primary break out 14 years ago....diagnosed visually...went to my gyno a few days later who said i had nothing to worry about because if it was in fact H I'd still have symptoms. I chose to believe her because ignorance is bliss....so over the next year I get papercut down there...go to the doc...says its just a tear no need to test....one more in the next year...& I'm like oh this is nothing. Okay fast forward to now....I haven't had anything, I had even forgotten all about it, until August2016...the papercut...I'm more mature now so I need to know...i go to my darn good gyno whom I've had for about 6 years...one swab...does the bloodwork too...both positive for hsv1...neg for hsv2....now my problem is I'm constantly checking my kids....so afraid I've passed it Because I also get a tiny blister here & there on my inner lips orally (also didn't know they could be on inner lips...thought they were on the outside...) & I'm guilty of constantly kissing them....my four year old had pink eye a few days ago & I can't stop thinking maybe I've kissed her there. She gets a red bump on her chin & I'm scared to death....I feel like I'm failing as a parent. I can't stand how I feel. I just wanted to share. Thanks.

Edited March 26, 2017 by Squids

[Kndillon]

Hi there. First of all, you are not failing as a parent. Your concern alone shows how much you love your babies. Do you take suppressive medication? If you don't have a sore, you should be fine, especially if there isn't a sore on the outside. Im a mother myself and I totally understand how you feel.   I also have a question for you. How long/big are the paper cut lesions you are mentioning? I personally have only self diagnosed myself due to a paper cut type tear and I've been constantly scared myself. Is it painful and how long do they hang around before they healed? I can't seem to find much about it online. 

[Squids]

Thank you.  My paper cut literally itched a second before it appeared, only about half an inch & in truth, hardly hurt...just stung a little when I peed. Waited about 4 days to go see my doc,  another two for the results & it was already gone. No scab or anything. Left as quick as it came. No suppressive meds...doctor said only if I get outbreaks often would it benefit me. I also had a paper cut back in December in a different spot (all the others were literally in the same spot) off I ran to the doc...swab came back negative...it was gone in 24 hours. She told me to calm down...not every itch or a bump is H. But my mind just won't stop. 

[Kndillon]

Thank you. I am right there with you. My mind won't stop either. I'm so worried because I'm trying to have another baby and I don't want all this worry to affect my pregnancy or my baby. I plan on getting tested but I wanted to wait and see if another tear shows up. I know I should just go ahead and do it, but I'm terrified. I don't know if it's even possible for a mother not to worry. I just know God is in control and all we can do is our best. 

[Disc0rdant]

I just kiss my boys on their heads since I have learned about hsv1.  I have told both of them about it so we dont share cups.  Other than that, I take no precautions with toweling my face or anything like that.  I think OHSV1 doesnt recur as often.  My guess is GHSV1 recurs even less often than OHSV1.  I am careful w water bottles, too or if I sip their soda(I dont drink my own!  They call it a "soda tax")  If we get a soda and they are drinking from the straw, I lift the lid up and drink from the cup and replace the lid.

Maybe it is crazy since they are both handsome and will kiss lots of girls I bet.  One neighbor said my youngest looks like Prince William.  I dont know what he looks like but I think they meant he is handsome.

Yeah.   Maybe crazy precautions....

[Squids]

Hopefully by then we'll be able to protect all our little ones....I have two teenagers who I've educated very well on what even making out with someone can cause.  My 4 year old is the one that's attached to me....I do the same...kiss her on top of the head & just make sure to wash my hands. 

[Erich]

@Squids , I totally relate to your concerns and fears as a parent. It gets to the point that I am afraid to touch my kids and I am constantly washing my hands.