Newly diagnosed with so many questions

[Desert Bloom]

I'm new to the group and also newly diagnosed.  I have been married for almost eight years so when all this started happening a few weeks ago there was so many questions running through my head.  I had two false negatives tests one blood and one biopsy before the third one tested positive.  So many questions have been going through my head , how did this happen and what's next.  I haven't told anyone other then my husband and feel so isolated.  I joined this group in hopes of finding some way to talk about this without feeling ashamed or embarrassed and to feel like myself again.

[Vinci]

Hi and welcome (sorry to say that though.. )

Idk how it happened (what was your husband's reaction when you disclosed it ? ), and for the future..    You will haunt the places in way to find some elements, tips to overcome this thing.

As I always say to people who have obs, try cannabis oil (I do mine, and don't know for the one you can get in USA) on obs, they will quickly disapear and maybe never come back again (no pain, no redness, no obs,.. for me since)

 

Ps: I'm french, and I'm a quiche in english, excuse for my basic speaking ^^

[Hansje]

Hi Desert Bloom. Sorry you have to go through this. I'm happy for you though that you have your husband to talk to. Has he been tested too?

Do you have HSV2 or 1? And is it genital or oral, or maybe both?

[Desert Bloom]

I have HSV2 genital herpes .  The first two tests were negative but the Dr said he was sure it was herpes so he did a third test that was positive.  He has told me that this would indicate I was newly exposed, since I have been faithful throughout the marriage it would mean my husband would either be asymptomatic or has cheated.  They are very vague on weather he could be asymptomatic and not have givin it to me until now or not so it's all very confusing.  My husband assures me he has not cheated and seems honest about it but there is always that question in the back of my mind.

[Jesus Chuy]

58 minutes ago, Desert Bloom said:

I have HSV2 genital herpes .  The first two tests were negative but the Dr said he was sure it was herpes so he did a third test that was positive.  He has told me that this would indicate I was newly exposed, since I have been faithful throughout the marriage it would mean my husband would either be asymptomatic or has cheated.  They are very vague on weather he could be asymptomatic and not have givin it to me until now or not so it's all very confusing.  My husband assures me he has not cheated and seems honest about it but there is always that question in the back of my mind.

He cheated. That's the bottom line. So sad people will lie. But the evidence is on the results. 

[oldgal]

On the surface of it, I'm afraid I would have to agree with Jesus Chuy.  I have never heard of anyone being asymptomatic for 8 years, but even if that were the case, it would mean that your husband had contracted herpes some time before you were married and never told you.  I can't believe anyone can catch this and never know, but perhaps I am wrong.  This is such a sad case, I feel very sorry for you and the situation you are in.   I hope the support you receive from this site will help you a little.

[Hansje]

Someone could have minor symptoms and mistake them for something else. 

What matters most now is how to go on from here.

[Desert Bloom]

He has had zero symptoms still.  I tried to read up on viral shedding but it is so vague. For the moment I am just trying to take everything slow.  Trying to educate myself on the virus and where to go from here.  I am on antivirals for a month and the Dr said if another breakout happens within 6 months I will then be taking it for a year. I have felt very isolated since this whole thing happened.  All the feelings of being dirty and untouchable go through my mind a lot. I am trying to put it all in perspective as a virus that will be with me but not define me ( easier said then done of course) but I am working on it 

[LucyLevi]

Hi Desert Bloom

Welcome to the site and please be assured that people are here to support you. The chat is useful to have conversations live time too.

It is really positive to hear you say that you will not be defined by this and that is a great mindset. For the time being it might be about just looking after you, rather than trying to get to the root of where it came from. As Hansje says it could be that he has had something going on but did not think of it as HSV. I do know of other people who have been married for a long time and suddenly got symptoms. Hopefully if any of them are around they might be able to help you here. Did you doctor take swabs or bloods or both?

Take care

Lucy

[Desert Bloom]

The Dr did a blood test that was negative, then did a biopsy also negative then did another blood test and that one was positive.  

[LucyLevi]

Hi Desert Bloom

It might be worth getting the values of that blood test. Sometimes there can be false positives so worth checking that. There is also the Western Blot test which is more sensitive.

Take care

Lucy

[WilsoInAus]

For sure, get the test results in full. You need to know whether it's an IgG or IgM test.

You suggest a swab was taken? What were the sores like and where are they?

Does your husband have oral cold sores?

Please don't jump to any conclusions, there are too few facts on the table.

[woodrose]

2 hours ago, WilsoInAus said:

 

For sure, get the test results in full. You need to know whether it's an IgG or IgM test.

You suggest a swab was taken? What were the sores like and where are they?

Does your husband have oral cold sores?

Please don't jump to any conclusions, there are too few facts on the table.

If your husband gets cold sores (type HSV-1) on his mouth, he could have transmitted  type HSV-1 to you during oral sex.  Don't jump to any conclusions about cheating. This is a mystery to be solved and I highly suggest that he be tested to see if he has Type HV-1 or 2.

80% of the population has Type HSV-1 on their mouth area. Yes the number IS that high and most people get it from relatives kissing them.

[oldgal]

A lot of informative and positive responses coming in here.  Some things I didn't know too.  Sorry I jumped on the negative bandwagon so quickly with my suspicious mind.  It sounds like there's a good chance my thoughts were premature.  I hope you find the answers you need and everything works out happily for you and your husband.  Thanks the rest of you for the info!  (What is IgG and IgM please?)

[Desert Bloom]

Thank you all for responding.  It really helps to talk about it even if I don't have answers I know I'm not alone in this.  One of the worst parts about it was feeling so isolated and not knowing who it's ok to talk to about it.  The worries of will they judge me or look at me differently or will they even understand why it's so upsetting to me if they don't have it themselves .

[oldgal]

I think probably most of us here still feel the same way that you do, it's only natural to do so.  But knowing that there are so many other "normal" people just like you who have contracted herpes and being able to hear their stories and experiences, helps enormously to lift that isolated feeling and put things more into perspective.  When you learn to accept the situation and regain that sense of self-respect that probably vanished out of the window at some point, everything gets a lot easier to deal with.  You are still the same person you always were.  Really, when you are already in a stable relationship, there's no need to tell anyone else if you don't feel comfortable to do so. 

[Lisajd]

I think you will find that the majority of people won't judge you and if they do it is more than likely that they are actually uneducated about it.  And also has a lot to do with it as well and the social stigma in your particular country.  You could start off the conversation with someone about cold sores and say that you have a same virus but it is just on your genitals and that you would really appreciate their support.  You can talk to them about how common it is but the only reason it upsets you so much is because you believe in the stigma and that's where you need to change your thinking

[dd9268]

Hi, I have been diagnosed with HSV 2 virus. I was in Bangkok with  my friends and I went to a massage parlor for massage and in the end she only did a hand job. After 5-6 days there was small iches at the tip of penis and it was slightly red inside the urethra. I went for blood test after 9 days and my HSV 2 IgG result was 74 RU/ml and for positive it was > 22 RU/ml. I looked at the report and thought, life has some other plans for me. Dont know what its going to be. Need support. I dont know how to cope up. Blogs and articles suggest one can live a long life with decreasing outbreaks. How will my life be? What other complications I may develop and how should I avoid it.

[WilsoInAus]

Welcome @dd9268 to the website. 

You have had a Euroimmun test by the looks of things. This test as you indicate has a different index system to the usual Herpeselect test that is expressed as a ratio to the single control sample defined as 1.

Just confirming was the result 7.4 or 74?

Note that if 74, then this confirms a longer term infection, most probably from years ago. It is not really possible to be infected with HSV-2 from a hand job and it is certainly not possible to test with a 74 just 9 days after infection. 

That hence answers the key questions you have regarding outbreaks and complications. It is likely you have gone years with none and there is no real reason to suspect this will change. The message hence would be to just keep doing and living your life the way you currently are.

[StayingUpbeat]

In this post @dd9268 provides a scanned copy of the actual blood test results in which he is clearly negative.  It sounds like he is one of those people that simply did something he feels morally concerned about (his massage in Bangkok), ran out to get an HSV test, and is reading too much into the measurement noise of the test.

@dd9268, when you decided to have this test done was it because you actually had visible blisters and/or sores that needed to be diagnosed or were simply worried that some form of generalized (likely anxiety induced) problems might be indicative of Herpes?

 

@Desert Bloom, ignore the comments regarding your husband and having surly cheated.  First and foremost read "The Herpes Handbook" by Terri Warren.  It is a well established fact that the probably of transmitting Herpes is about 10% / year in monogamous couples having sex roughly once per week.  Though possible that he caught it recently it's also possible, especially taken in context, that he has simply had it for a long time and finally transmitted it.