Jump to content

Disclosing to potential new partner

FutureRDH

By FutureRDH,
in Disclosure (telling)

 Share

Recommended Posts

FutureRDH Honeycomb Member

FutureRDH

Posted
Posted

Hi, all!

I am newly single and I just so happen to meet such a  wonderful, intelligent, funny, charming gentleman. He is very much a gentleman And I would hope that this would go somewhere, but I'm afraid to the "talk" how does that come about, how do you tell them,  when should I tell him?  Should I do it in person. Over the phone or via text? I just don't want to loose an opportunity to be with an awesome man. Please help! How can have a successful relationship with spreading it ? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
LillianPanos Platinum Support Member

LillianPanos

Posted
Posted

Hi. Welcome.  I was in your same situation a year ago. It took me 6 wks to tell him. I got info from people here on how to do it. Try not to cry when you tell him of course I tried but failed. I tried to not make it like the worse thing in the world which it isn't.  I asked him if he knew about cold sores on the mouth?  informed him I had them on the genitals had  jus been infected by person in last relationship.  He said he had cold sores as child. In informed him I was just learning about it and if he wanted to kick me to the curb I understand.  Dont say that! I further said we can still do many things sexually and we could learn together.  I offered to have him speak with someone on this site more knowledgeable than me he did that made him more comfortable.  I suggested he get tested as he may have it and not had any symptoms.  He did he has hsv1 cold sores tho his #s low and he hasn't had one in yrs. He respected my honesty and wanted to be with me. It's been a yr and we are loving each other! This worked for me could I have done it sooner or differently yes.Hang in there it will work out! Let us know.

39 minutes ago, FutureRDH said:

Hi, all!

I am newly single and I just so happen to meet such a  wonderful, intelligent, funny, charming gentleman. He is very much a gentleman And I would hope that this would go somewhere, but I'm afraid to the "talk" how does that come about, how do you tell them,  when should I tell him?  Should I do it in person. Over the phone or via text? I just don't want to loose an opportunity to be with an awesome man. Please help! How can have a successful relationship with spreading it ? 

 

  • dont quit!17
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
FutureRDH Honeycomb Member

FutureRDH

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Thank you Lillian, much appreciated!!! That's Good advice. I have found a person that helps with disclosing to partners, so I'm gonna do that as well. But it's so scary! Like, how do I sit in front of someone and tell them, and I just don't feel like it's right to do any other way(text or call). It's scary because I get cold sores and I fear what if he tries to kiss me,  it's only coming up on our second date and he is a gentleman but it is a legit concern.  thank you for sharing you experience, I hope goes as well as yours did!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
LillianPanos Platinum Support Member

LillianPanos

Posted
Posted

Good luck... I know you want to be honest and do the right thing.  Thats showing respect! Chances he has it already but be prepared.  Let us know how it goes!

14 hours ago, FutureRDH said:

Thank you Lillian, much appreciated!!! That's Good advice. I have found a person that helps with disclosing to partners, so I'm gonna do that as well. But it's so scary! Like, how do I sit in front of someone and tell them, and I just don't feel like it's right to do any other way(text or call). It's scary because I get cold sores and I fear what if he tries to kiss me,  it's only coming up on our second date and he is a gentleman but it is a legit concern.  thank you for sharing you experience, I hope goes as well as yours did!

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • 4 weeks later...
markymark Honeycomb Member

markymark

Posted
Posted
On 04/04/2017 at 11:37 AM, FutureRDH said:

Hi, all!

I am newly single and I just so happen to meet such a  wonderful, intelligent, funny, charming gentleman. He is very much a gentleman And I would hope that this would go somewhere, but I'm afraid to the "talk" how does that come about, how do you tell them,  when should I tell him?  Should I do it in person. Over the phone or via text? I just don't want to loose an opportunity to be with an awesome man. Please help! How can have a successful relationship with spreading it ? 

One thing to remember is that he quite probably already has herpes - most people are carrying hsv-1. A large number of people are carrying hsv-2 too. In most cases, for both strains, the person is unaware. They might once have seen a rash or lesions but they cleared up and they forgot about it. Many people pick up hsv-1 especially in childhood.

 

Just worth remembering I think that by having either hsv-1 or hsv-2 you're in the majority so don't put too much pressure on yourself.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing

  • Donate

    If Honeycomb has helped you, please help us by making a donation so we can provide you with even better features and services.

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
      71.9k
    • Total Posts
      485.2k

  • Posts

    • WilsoInAus
      Could this be hsv-2?

      By WilsoInAus · Posted

      Hey @Lcj987 and welcome to the website. You can be sure that isn't HSV-2, looks nothing like it. It is much more likely to be folliculitis or inflamed fordyce spots.
    • WilsoInAus
      Unsure if Herpes, awaiting swabs, need help

      By WilsoInAus · Posted

      Hey @JackThrowAway herpes causes an outbreak where it enters the body first and maybe a progressive spread. If it doesn't cause an outbreak at the entry site then it won't cause one elsewhere, it also won't 'jump' upon infection - it would be more likely that the lesions are continuous from the penis to the anus. Nevertheless, testing trumps symptoms or any interpretation of symptoms. The correct conclusive result arises when: you have a positive swab; or An IgG HSV-2 level over 3.5 (Herpeselect test).
    • Lcj987
      Could this be hsv-2?

      By Lcj987 · Posted

      Slept with someone unprotected, roughly 2 weeks ago now. I felt generally unwell the couple of days after but I’d been drinking the whole weekend and didn’t have much sleep either of the days of that weekend so put it down to that. 6 days after I noticed these spots appear on the shaft of my penis. Along with symptoms of discomfort in my shaft in the couple of days prior to them appearing. No pain when urinating at all that I have noticed. They don’t hurt, itch or tingle and they don’t have fluid in from what I can see or feel if I squeeze them and have never burst? I went to a sexual health clinic to get checked up, they took bloods to do a full test and looked at the spots but said they saw nothing that concerned them but I’m not sure about that, any advice? The smaller spots under the shaft are just follicles I had diagnosed years ago and non-sti related.
    • JackThrowAway
      Unsure if Herpes, awaiting swabs, need help

      By JackThrowAway · Posted

      She tested positive for HSV2. No, there was nothing of that sort in that area.   However I also have ulcerative colitis so I’m on medication that makes me immunosuppressed. I have been bleeding a bit when I pass stools during the time of redness, so I’m unsure if I’m getting a flare from the colitis (from all the stress of everything) or if it’s due to the virus making it’s way to an already inflamed area and popping up as blisters that I can’t see and hence the bleeding.    I had two equivocal results (at 4 weeks and 6 weeks) that then went to a positive result (7 weeks after exposure). Combine that with some flu symptoms, redness, tingling etc. makes me feel it’s conclusive that this points to a hsv2 infection.
    • Anonimus
      HELP! Conflicting results (different reference values)

      By Anonimus · Posted

      Thanks!!!!! I appreciate your help.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.

  I accept