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dystopian Honeycomb Member

dystopian

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Hi! I'm Dom. I am 19 years old and I just got diagnosed with herpes last week and it was confirmed today. I have cried every day and have felt a lot of anger towards myself, god, and just everything around me. I have also been struggling a lot with fighting suicidal thoughts. I'm stressed with with school ending and I have so much going on and it is overwhelming. I joined this website because I thought it would be cool to have some friends or just listeners who know how I feel and stuff. I promise I'm not a depressing person, I just am struggling accepting that I now have herpes for the rest of my life. I have only been with one guy and I feel like I got cheated. So yea, I guess that's my story.

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kittenz Honeycomb Member

kittenz

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I am literally in the same exact position as you. I got diagnosed two days ago and I literally just break down randomly throughout the day. I have never been in such a dark place in my 22 years. Reading some of the posts on here have given me the first bit of positivity in the past few days. I never knew how common this was... and that makes me feel a little better as well. I am here for you if you need someone to turn to, i joined this site because I don't want to seem like a crybaby or a miserable person either but sometimes you need people around you who understand your struggle to get through it together. 

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WilsoInAus Platinum Support Member

WilsoInAus

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Welcome @dystopian and welcome to the website. What has happened to you? Did you have a bad outbreak and then a swab come up positive?

Do you know the type? It does sound a little like your partner has an oral HSV-1 infection and infected you with oral sex if you are each other's only partners?

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dystopian Honeycomb Member

dystopian

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Hi! So basically, I got super swollen in my labia and was i was in ALOT of pain. I went to the ER and a gynecologist said it was herpes. I took valtrex and I followed up with my pediatrician and she saw some indentations and confirmed it as herpes. My culture was actually never ran, but both doctors said it was most likely type 1. I can go get blood work done if i want, but I don't think it's really necessary. And yea I feel confident that I had to have gotten it from him during oral, I'm just surprised he has not had a cold sore since I've known him and I have never had a cold sore in my life.

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Lisajd Platinum Support Member

Lisajd

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What you are going with emotionally and mentally is normal is probably what every single one of us has gone through.  But with education and time and also putting it into perspective you will feel better.  @dystopian it is entirely up to you but I suggest you actually get tested properly but know that blood test don't confirm anything until after 3 months until antibodies develop.  If you still have blisters I suggest you get a swab test done otherwise a blood test in 3 months time. It is important to know which type it is because they are both very different strains and in regards to the frequency of outbreaks and the risks

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Jesus Chuy Established Member

Jesus Chuy

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On 4/12/2017 at 9:22 PM, dystopian said:

Hi! So basically, I got super swollen in my labia and was i was in ALOT of pain. I went to the ER and a gynecologist said it was herpes. I took valtrex and I followed up with my pediatrician and she saw some indentations and confirmed it as herpes. My culture was actually never ran, but both doctors said it was most likely type 1. I can go get blood work done if i want, but I don't think it's really necessary. And yea I feel confident that I had to have gotten it from him during oral, I'm just surprised he has not had a cold sore since I've known him and I have never had a cold sore in my life.

I dont think you have herpes. Please get a blood test igg. If he gave you HSV1 you will never have another symptom again. And 90% of the population has HSV1. 

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Elle22 Platinum Support Member

Elle22

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Hello Dom and kittenz, welcome to Honeycomb! I am glad that you both reached out for support when you recognized that you were struggling. Being diagnosed with herpes can certainly be a shock. It is okay to feel upset about it. However, it does not mean you are any less of the lovely person you were before. (so please be kind to yourself!)

 To repeat what others have mentioned, a visual herpes diagnosis is NOT reliable. I recommend getting tested. There have been many times I have chatted with people certain that they have herpes due to visual diagnosis, then it was later found to be something else. Pretty much any visual evidence that looks like hsv is a crossover symptom with other issues.

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    • CHT
      SUCCESS STORY: Herpes is an opportunity to built trust and connection through vulnerability.

      By CHT · Posted

      Hi "Jeremy"..... I agree, the topic of your HSV status does not need to be something you disclose too soon in a developing relationship..... get to know each other first....see how it's going and as it progresses, then the HSV issue will naturally need to be revealed.... it's my personal opinion though that before there is any sexual encounter you ought to disclose your HSV status.... I know some will disagree with me on this but, I think it is morally wrong not to disclose first.  This can be a make/break situation for most people but, again, I feel it is simply wrong not to give the other person the whole story since your decision not to disclose could put their health at risk.... that is simply not an option in my opinion.  Looking back to my "pre-HSV" life I most certainly would want my partner to disclose their HSV+ status before intimacy so that I could make my decision as to whether I want to take that risk or not.... 
    • Jeremy Spokein
      SUCCESS STORY: Herpes is an opportunity to built trust and connection through vulnerability.

      By Jeremy Spokein · Posted

      Thanks, CHT. I appreciate the feedback. The whole trauma of going through this has led me to figure out a lot about myself and my attachment wounds, so I'm taking courses to come out of this better. This girl really was my dream woman in so many ways, it's been the hardest heartbreak to deal with ever. I'm truly in a lot of pain, but using the pain as fuel to launch that new business and work with coaches. I also opened up to my family about HSV, so my parents and sister know now, and they were very loving and accepting of it. Since opening up about it, I feel way better around this thing. After opening up, I also found out that some mutual friends in our family have discordant couples who are married with children, so HSV hasn't stopped them from living a loving life. The thing is... all of these couples I mention did not disclose until 6-8 months into the relationship. So now I'm thinking it might be better not to disclose until I know things are very serious. I'll of course stay on the medication and use protection, but maybe this is a better route than disclosing upfront and scaring women off.
    • WilsoInAus
      Could this be hsv-2?

      By WilsoInAus · Posted

      Hey @Lcj987 and welcome to the website. You can be sure that isn't HSV-2, looks nothing like it. It is much more likely to be folliculitis or inflamed fordyce spots.
    • WilsoInAus
      Unsure if Herpes, awaiting swabs, need help

      By WilsoInAus · Posted

      Hey @JackThrowAway herpes causes an outbreak where it enters the body first and maybe a progressive spread. If it doesn't cause an outbreak at the entry site then it won't cause one elsewhere, it also won't 'jump' upon infection - it would be more likely that the lesions are continuous from the penis to the anus. Nevertheless, testing trumps symptoms or any interpretation of symptoms. The correct conclusive result arises when: you have a positive swab; or An IgG HSV-2 level over 3.5 (Herpeselect test).
    • Lcj987
      Could this be hsv-2?

      By Lcj987 · Posted

      Slept with someone unprotected, roughly 2 weeks ago now. I felt generally unwell the couple of days after but I’d been drinking the whole weekend and didn’t have much sleep either of the days of that weekend so put it down to that. 6 days after I noticed these spots appear on the shaft of my penis. Along with symptoms of discomfort in my shaft in the couple of days prior to them appearing. No pain when urinating at all that I have noticed. They don’t hurt, itch or tingle and they don’t have fluid in from what I can see or feel if I squeeze them and have never burst? I went to a sexual health clinic to get checked up, they took bloods to do a full test and looked at the spots but said they saw nothing that concerned them but I’m not sure about that, any advice? The smaller spots under the shaft are just follicles I had diagnosed years ago and non-sti related.
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