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Terrified for the future

kittenz

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kittenz Honeycomb Member

kittenz

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Three days ago I was diagnosed with HSV2. I have been in a long distance relationship for 2 years and my boyfriend is negative. The virus must be old for me, the only explaination I can think of is I had to have gotten it from my ex boyfriend. I have only had one breakout which was extremely mild, my gynecologist told me it didn't look like herpes or any type of std for that matter, but I urged her to culture it so I wouldn't be paranoid. Ended up coming back positive and my heart is broken. I am devastated, I have been crying for the past three days. I don't even feel like the same person anymore, I have always been a happy and carefree person and now I just feel miserable and that I can't enjoy anything without being plagued by the thought I have to live differently now. My boyfriend is really upset and scared but tells me he won't leave me.. I'm just so scared that he will and I'm even more scared of transmitting it to him and if I ever did I don't know how I will live with knowing that. I need all the advice I can get, thank you everyone who posts on here I have read a lot of topics and this site has brought me the first bit of positivity ever since I found out this news

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oldgal Established Member

oldgal

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Hi Kittenz, glad to hear you have already found your way around this site a bit and gained something positive out of it.  Please keep reading, learning and sharing.  When we are first diagnosed with herpes, it can feel like the end of the world.  It isn't.  It also often feels as though you are totally alone to face it.  You aren't.  As you get past the initial shock and start looking into it with a more open mind, you will slowly begin to accept the situation and life will get easier.  There are many people here who are newly diagnosed and can relate to what you are going through right now and it may help to connect with some of them.  There are also quite a few of us who were diagnosed many many years ago and are testament to the fact that there is life after herpes.

You are actually in a very fortunate situation.  You have been in a relationship for 2 years and your boyfriend is sticking by you.  Naturally you are scared now because your emotions are in overdrive, but that's just because there are so many things going through your mind, and probably a lot of them are not correct.  You say you don't feel like the same person any more, but you are the same person!  Your boyfriend seems like a good man who loves you and wants to be with you no matter what.  If he left you it would probably be because you suddenly changed the way you behaved towards him, and stopped being that happy and carefree person that he fell in love with :D!!  Seriously, you haven't done anything wrong, so don't be unkind to yourself.

You say your boyfriend is negative, but has he been tested specifically for herpes?  And if so, when?  It seems to me it is quite possible he already has the virus.  Perhaps he has had it for a long time and doesn't know.  I'm not one who ever looked into the more technical side of things, but there are a number of very knowledgeable people on here who I am sure will make some helpful comments.  But from what I have read in numerous posts, there are very many who carry the virus for a long time but don't know about it.  In fact, it seems you could be one of them!  Your first "outbreak" doesn't sound like the usual first one, which is normally rather more severe.

I would suggest both you and your boyfriend try to learn as much as possible about living with herpes and the treatments available.  There is a lot of good advice on here from a lot of caring people.  I hope your relationship continues to be a happy one and I wish you both well.

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kittenz Honeycomb Member

kittenz

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37 minutes ago, oldgal said:

Hi Kittenz, glad to hear you have already found your way around this site a bit and gained something positive out of it.  Please keep reading, learning and sharing.  When we are first diagnosed with herpes, it can feel like the end of the world.  It isn't.  It also often feels as though you are totally alone to face it.  You aren't.  As you get past the initial shock and start looking into it with a more open mind, you will slowly begin to accept the situation and life will get easier.  There are many people here who are newly diagnosed and can relate to what you are going through right now and it may help to connect with some of them.  There are also quite a few of us who were diagnosed many many years ago and are testament to the fact that there is life after herpes.

You are actually in a very fortunate situation.  You have been in a relationship for 2 years and your boyfriend is sticking by you.  Naturally you are scared now because your emotions are in overdrive, but that's just because there are so many things going through your mind, and probably a lot of them are not correct.  You say you don't feel like the same person any more, but you are the same person!  Your boyfriend seems like a good man who loves you and wants to be with you no matter what.  If he left you it would probably be because you suddenly changed the way you behaved towards him, and stopped being that happy and carefree person that he fell in love with :D!!  Seriously, you haven't done anything wrong, so don't be unkind to yourself.

You say your boyfriend is negative, but has he been tested specifically for herpes?  And if so, when?  It seems to me it is quite possible he already has the virus.  Perhaps he has had it for a long time and doesn't know.  I'm not one who ever looked into the more technical side of things, but there are a number of very knowledgeable people on here who I am sure will make some helpful comments.  But from what I have read in numerous posts, there are very many who carry the virus for a long time but don't know about it.  In fact, it seems you could be one of them!  Your first "outbreak" doesn't sound like the usual first one, which is normally rather more severe.

I would suggest both you and your boyfriend try to learn as much as possible about living with herpes and the treatments available.  There is a lot of good advice on here from a lot of caring people.  I hope your relationship continues to be a happy one and I wish you both well.

I am trying my best to be kind to myself and I keep telling myself it will be okay, my mom says the same thing that it's not the end of the world and that is correct. I guess it will just take some time for my emotions to settle down and I won't be so upset, I'm hoping. He took a blood test specifically for 1 & 2 and his results were negative. I'm not exactly sure how to interpret the blood test because I was tested by a culture, but he told me his doctor went over it with him and he's going to keep getting tested every couple of months. The outbreak I had was extremely painful for a few days but it didn't look anything like a blister or a sore, my gynecologist said she wouldn't even call it a lesion it just looked like irritated red skin. It stung like HELL though! Thank you so much for everything you said you lifted my spirits tremendously 

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oldgal Established Member

oldgal

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Ah, the "stung like HELL" sounds more like it!!  So glad you are trying to keep your spirits up.  And delighted that you have your mom onside - there's no-one better :)!  You seem to have some very caring people in your life kittenz, you'll be fine, truly :longhug:

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      Could this be hsv-2?

      By WilsoInAus · Posted

      Hey @Lcj987 and welcome to the website. You can be sure that isn't HSV-2, looks nothing like it. It is much more likely to be folliculitis or inflamed fordyce spots.
    • WilsoInAus
      Unsure if Herpes, awaiting swabs, need help

      By WilsoInAus · Posted

      Hey @JackThrowAway herpes causes an outbreak where it enters the body first and maybe a progressive spread. If it doesn't cause an outbreak at the entry site then it won't cause one elsewhere, it also won't 'jump' upon infection - it would be more likely that the lesions are continuous from the penis to the anus. Nevertheless, testing trumps symptoms or any interpretation of symptoms. The correct conclusive result arises when: you have a positive swab; or An IgG HSV-2 level over 3.5 (Herpeselect test).
    • Lcj987
      Could this be hsv-2?

      By Lcj987 · Posted

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    • JackThrowAway
      Unsure if Herpes, awaiting swabs, need help

      By JackThrowAway · Posted

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      By Anonimus · Posted

      Thanks!!!!! I appreciate your help.
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