New and terrified

[HSV1andconfused]

Hey guys so after my best friend suggested I join an online support group to help cope with being diagnosed with HSV1 relatively recently (about 2 months ago), here I am.  I honestly am terrified, and don't know where to take it from here, but figured making this/a first post was the place to start!  I'm the lucky bitch that got HSV1 in my down under (how cute does that sound), and to be honest its awful I think about my diagnosis at least once a day and get REALLY upset about it and either cry or am on the brink of tears every day.   I'm currently in college and to be honest everything about this sucks...not only am I surrounded by a sex environment continuously and feel like I'm missing out, but I honestly feel like talking to guys isn't even worth my time anymore because in the long run it won't be able to go anywhere because of my whole little situation here.  Does anyone have any suggestions and/or bits of information that may be helpful?

[LilyMae]

Hi @HSV1andconfused. I'm sorry you are going through this. Welcome to Honeycomb. This post is going to be kind of brief because it's getting a bit late here and I'm pretty sleepy. I will write more tomorrow. I know right now it's scary and dark and unfamiliar but you are going to get your bearings and you will be okay. You probably already know this but hsv1 is incredibly common. 

This is a link to Ella Dawson's blog. She is very smart, in her mid-twenties and so completely out about being hsv1 positive. Her blog is full of great stuff and she is very relatable. It sucks that you contracted hsv but there are lots of great resources now. 

https://ellacydawson.wordpress.com/herpes/

I got hsv2 when I was 24. That was 22 years ago almost now. It was a hard adjustment at first but it hasn't in the long run had a particularly negative impact on my life. I've dated lovely people, been in a couple long termrelationships and been able to do anything I set my mind to. I always disclose before any contact beyond a casual make-out and have had good experiences with that. 

Remember that you are the master of your own narrative. You decide what your life is and what your path is. I recommend taking some time to get really educated about hsv and what the virus is like in your body. We all have our own experience with that. And fight against internalizing the stigma and using it against yourself. You are still you. You are okay exactly as you are right now. There is nothing inherently dirty of shameful in hsv. It is just a virus. And you are so much stronger than you feel right now in this transitional time. 

Feel free to private message me if you would like to chat. Sending you lots of strength and acceptance and a big hug.

[Mina85]

Welcome!  We're diagnosis twins, haha.  I was 24 I think (I'm 32 now) when I was diagnosed with GHSV-1 and I went from thinking about it every day to the point that I lost my appetite and thought constantly about praying for a cure to literally going months without it crossing my mind for one second.  I've dated several people and been in relationships and most of my disclosures have gone 100% successfully, with only one or two resulting in a gentle rejection.  

The first OB is the worst but I've found that OTC meds work just as well on the "down under" infections.  Also corn starch based baby powder is a lifesaver when you have a new outbreak.  

What you're feeling now is probably the worst it's going to get, or close to it.  It gets easier from here.

 

*hug*

[Elle22]

So pretty much you're probably going to be upset for a while (totally understandable btw, we've all been there) and then realize you're fine and it's not the huge earth shaking deal you thought it was at first. I got herpes at 19, just prior to going to college, so my entire university sexual career has been with ghsv2. Let me tell you, I thought herpes was gonna be way more exciting and dramatic....turns out it's pretty dull and people generally don't care as much as you think they might. (and yeah, you can still talk to guys and have sex)

What was helpful for me when I was struggling was to come to the chat room here. It was really nice to be able to chat about silly things/life in general while also discussing herpes tips/complaints/support. It normalized things for me and was a nice release for something that was on my mind a bunch at the time. Herpes doesn't change who you are or your worth at all, it is just a virus. You have gotten viruses before and been alright. That being said, cry about it if you want to! You're allowed to have feelings!

[VVK]

Beyond what has already been said in the posts before this, you'll learn that most people end up getting HSV1 during their lifetime. It happens at different ages for different people, but in the end something like 2 out of every 3 people aged 50 and under have HSV1. Most HSV1 infections are in the oral region and the virus is usually more successful in the oral region. Many people who have it don't even know that they do, so this is likely how you got infected: from a person that didn't realize that they were infectious and likely didn't have any obvious symptoms.

Take some time to learn more. If you think about it, chances are that you will meet more guys who are HSV1+ than those that are not.

[HSV1andconfused]

10 hours ago, VVK said:

Beyond what has already been said in the posts before this, you'll learn that most people end up getting HSV1 during their lifetime. It happens at different ages for different people, but in the end something like 2 out of every 3 people aged 50 and under have HSV1. Most HSV1 infections are in the oral region and the virus is usually more successful in the oral region. Many people who have it don't even know that they do, so this is likely how you got infected: from a person that didn't realize that they were infectious and likely didn't have any obvious symptoms.

Take some time to learn more. If you think about it, chances are that you will meet more guys who are HSV1+ than those that are not.

That's a good point, but I have HSV1 in my genital region

[VVK]

HSV1+ people have immunity to new HSV1+ infections, so someone with oral HSV1 is virtually immune to getting a genital HSV1 infection. Likewise, you with genital HSV1 are virtually immune to getting oral HSV1 now. You're also much less likely to show any symptoms of HSV1 as it is in the genital region, where the virus is not as successful compared to the oral region. As far as dating goes, you are the least likely to infect a partner and most likely to find someone who has the same HSV1+ status.

[Atrapasueños]

Eso no es completamente seguro yo tengo hsv 1 oral y hsv 1 genital sin haber tenido relaciones sexuales 

@VVK

That is not completely safe I have hsv 1 oral and hsv 1 genital without having had sex

[useless]

How do you know you didn't catch it sexual ly.  From what I've heard people ccan have the virus in their system for a while before they have an outbreak. 

[Atrapasueños]

Yo lo obtuve por un beso y a los 2 meses ya tenía síntomas en mis genitales el médico que visite nunca me dijo que tuviera precauciones sólo no dejaba de decir que no se lo iba a contagiar a nadie y que viviera mi vida y este fue el resultado hsv oral y genital

 

I got it for a kiss and at 2 months already had symptoms in my genitals the doctor who visited never told me to take precautions just did not stop saying that I was not going to infect anyone and I lived my life and this was the result Oral and genital hsv

[useless]

Sorry to hear that. You're right Dr's don't give the right advice they prescribe antivirals and send you on your way. It makes me wonder if they actually know enough about this virus.they keep telling me i shouldn't be feeling this ill it has to be something else making me ill. I feel so angry at times.

[Lisajd]

2 hours ago, Atrapasueños said:

Yo lo obtuve por un beso y a los 2 meses ya tenía síntomas en mis genitales el médico que visite nunca me dijo que tuviera precauciones sólo no dejaba de decir que no se lo iba a contagiar a nadie y que viviera mi vida y este fue el resultado hsv oral y genital

 

I got it for a kiss and at 2 months already had symptoms in my genitals the doctor who visited never told me to take precautions just did not stop saying that I was not going to infect anyone and I lived my life and this was the result Oral and genital hsv

Did you get ghsv1 through oral sex then?

[HSV1andconfused]

15 hours ago, VVK said:

Beyond what has already been said in the posts before this, you'll learn that most people end up getting HSV1 during their lifetime. It happens at different ages for different people, but in the end something like 2 out of every 3 people aged 50 and under have HSV1. Most HSV1 infections are in the oral region and the virus is usually more successful in the oral region. Many people who have it don't even know that they do, so this is likely how you got infected: from a person that didn't realize that they were infectious and likely didn't have any obvious symptoms.

Take some time to learn more. If you think about it, chances are that you will meet more guys who are HSV1+ than those that are not.

who me? 

because if you're asking me, yes, thats what the doctor figures/thinks is what happened/that someone with a cold sore/forming cold sore licked their fingers or whatever before and transmitted it. its all great stuff lol

[Lisajd]

Not usually that way.  Did you have oral sex?

[Atrapasueños]

No tuve contacto sexual ni sexo oral sólo un beso 

@Lisajd

I had no sexual contact or oral sex just a kiss

[Lisajd]

How did you get genital hsv then?

[Atrapasueños]

Cuando fue mi contagio el médico que me atendió nunca dijo que no pasaba nada que era una enfermedad que la mayoría de las personas tenía que no lo iba a transmitirlo que siguiera con mi vida y no me dijo que tomará precauciones, los más probable es que yo mismo me los transmiti a mis genitales, y es así como un simple beso me cambio la vida 

 

When it was my contagion the doctor who attended me never said that nothing was happening that was a disease that most people had that I would not transmit it to continue with my life and did not tell me to take precautions, most likely I myself transmitted them to my genitals, and that is how a simple kiss changed my life

[Atrapasueños]

No se si hable español para explicarle mejor mi experiencia fue esta, salí con una chica que me gustaba cuando se iba terminar la cita nos besamos y yo me fui a mi casa a los 2 días yo empecé con sintomas de ardor picazón visión borrosa fui al médico y me diagnosticó herpes labial sin tener lesiones visibles me mandó hacer análisis de sangre me lo realice a los 20 días dio positivo volví a ir y me recetó aciclovir por 15 días 2 pastillas cada día el médico no me mencionó tener precauciones ni abstinencia  mi preocupación y mi ignorancia de tener hsv oral me impactó ya que no se me quitaban mis síntomas a los 2 meses de mi contagio aún seguía Con síntomas en mi boca y comencé a tener síntomas en mis genitales y visión borrosa no e tenido un diagnóstico médico de tener hsv genital pero es muy seguro ya que tengo todos los síntomas, ya que mis síntomas eran ardor en pelvis, nalgas, picazón y los 2 meses y medio tuve mis primeros brotes en boca y pelvis y nalgas aunque ya no es constante aún siento ardor en nalgas y picazón en espalda y pelvis y las lesiones

@Lisajd

I do not know if I speak Spanish to explain better my experience was this, I went out with a girl that I liked when the appointment was going to end we kissed and I went home at 2 days and I started with burning symptoms itching blurred vision I went to Doctor and I diagnosed cold sores without having visible lesions sent me to do blood tests I performed it to the 20 days of my contagion and gave positive I went back and I prescribed acyclovir for 15 days 2 pills every day the doctor did not mention me to have precautions Nor abstinence my concern and my ignorance of having oral hsv impacted me since my symptoms were not taken away at 2 months of my contagion I was still with symptoms in my mouth and began to have symptoms in my genitals and blurred vision has not had a Medical diagnosis of having genital hsv but it is very safe since I have all the symptoms, since my symptoms were burning in the pelvis, buttocks, itching and the 2 and a half months I had my first outbreaks in Mouth and pelvis and buttocks although it is no longer constant I still feel burning in buttocks and itching in back and pelvis and lesions

[WilsoInAus]

8 hours ago, Atrapasueños said:

Eso no es completamente seguro yo tengo hsv 1 oral y hsv 1 genital sin haber tenido relaciones sexuales 

@VVK

That is not completely safe I have hsv 1 oral and hsv 1 genital without having had sex

This is not actually really possible and you are self diagnosed to boot. Please do not influence others' thinking with your own theories, they may not be appropriate or provide sensible background information for others attempting to reach real life conclsuions.

[Atrapasueños]

Acabo de explicar como fue mi contagió por eso hablo de mi experiencia

@WilsoInAus

I just explained how it was my contagion that's why I talk about my experience

[Lisajd]

went to Doctor and I diagnosed cold sores without having visible lesions sent me to do blood tests I performed it to the 20 days of my contagion

 

If you had positive blood test after 20 days you had it prior to the kissing.   It takes 3 months 90 days to show positive blood test.  I suggest you go back 3 months and test again for hsv2

[Atrapasueños]

Me realicé 2 estudios uno a los 20 días otro a los 2 meses contra el hsv 1 y vhs 2 sólo di positivo a hsv 1

 

I did 2 studies one at 20 days another at 2 months against hsv 1 and vhs 2 only gave positive to hsv 1

[WilsoInAus]

This all means you have had HSV-1 since childhood most probably. You cannot really test positive for HSV-1 just 20 days after exposure, it is strongly indicative of an earlier infection.

You cannot be diagnosed without a swab of lesions to ascertain whether cold sores are present. With no lesions, it is very likely that something else is the cause. If it is related to herpes, it was not from the girl in question.

You can only get infected where skin to skin occurs. As this did not happen genitally, it is not likely and probably not at all possible you have genital herpes. You cannot get genital herpes from a kiss.

[Atrapasueños]

Yo no tenía hsv de la infancia ni una lesión en toda mi vida hasta que bese a esta chica, uno sabe cuando su cuerpo anda mal yo me realicé análisis de sangre para hsv 1 y hsv 2 la primera vez fue a los 20 días dando positivo para hsv 1 y negativo para hsv 2 a los 2 meses y 15 días me volvi a realizar los estudios y el resultado fue el mismo positivo hsv 1 en negativo para hsv 2 todos IgG 

 

I did not have hsv from childhood or an injury in my whole life until I kiss this girl, you know when your body is wrong I did blood tests for hsv 1 and hsv 2 the first time was at 20 days giving positive For hsv 1 and negative for hsv 2 at 2 months and 15 days I did the studies again and the result was the same positive hsv 1 in negative for hsv 2 all IgG

[Atrapasueños]

Ahora las personas que tienen el virus estan propensas a infectar otra zona de su cuerpo, porque cree que en los articulos cientificos recomiendan no tocar otra parte de su cuerpo, usted  dice que  es imposible, yo antes de mi contagió estuve en una relación de 2 años después se termino mi relación estuve  1 año  soltero conocí a la chica que me dio esto 

 

Now people who have the virus are prone to infect another area of their body, because they believe that scientific articles recommend not touching another part of your body, you say it is impossible, I before I was infected I was in a relationship of 2 Years later my relationship was over I was 1 year single I met the girl who gave me this