Jump to content

Just diagnosed and scared


Recommended Posts

Hi. Just got diagnosed today with genital herpes due to first OB and scared to death. I have been in a relationship for 10 yrs and have never cheated on him and have NEVER had anything like this happen to me. I feel so disgusted and nasty. I am freaking out!! I know I'm not alone but that's how I feel right now. And now I have to tell my sons father he has to get tested. How do I do this?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

OK I am glad you have come here. There is the temptation to take some immediate steps, but I encourage you not to until you have all the facts at hand.

First thing I recommend is that you do not tell any past partners. Sounds like they are 10 plus years in the past and that is too long with other partners on the scene no doubt for you to mention herpes to any of them.

Next it is pretty likely that your current partner is the source. If this is your first known outbreak and pretty bad with at least a couple of patches of sores then it is most likely an initial outbreak? It is hence possible your current partner has a genital HSV-2 infection that doesn't cause him issues or a little more likely is that he has on oral HSV-1 infection and infected you through oral sex?

Does your partner get oral cold sores?

What testing did you have to confirm a herpes infection? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Honestly, I have never heard him complain about an oral cold sore. I was diagnosed by my dr taking a sample of the lesion due to me having a really bad sore on my labia. I also seemed to have some spots in my rectal area. But again, this is the first time anything like this has ever happened. So I'm just really emotional. The dr has given me a prescription and it seems to be helping. Thank god!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

And the swab was positive? I suggest you ring back straight away and ask them to type the swab. 

Have you had a blood test, this may tell you whether the infection is older or recent.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'll let Wilso give you the medical insights because he's better at that than me... but I'm just here to say I was diagnosed 2.5 months ago and I went from near suicidal to feeling almost completely okay about it during that time. It's really a much smaller deal than we make it out to be. Uncomfortable and inconvenient, yes... but for most people, actually quite minor in the scheme of things. I know it's scary and unknown and there is also an emotional level that comes in with it because of partners and relationships, but please don't be too down or hard on yourself. And feel free to ask if you have any questions. <3

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

The this confirms a genital HSV-2 infection. As mentioned, the chances that your current partner of 10 years has this virus (infection occurring either from him to you or you to him) seem very large. A blood test will confirm his status, type specific for HSV-1 and HSV-2.

I'd recommend that you do now tell your current partner that with some reasonable likelihood (but not absolute) you have been recently infected with genital herpes (do not discuss type yet). You believe he is a carrier and blood testing will confirm this.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you both for taking the time to speak with me and providing information as well as friendly support in this situation.  I am still trying to get over the devastation of finding out these results and having this OB.  I have been crying like crazy these past couple days but trying to breathe, so thank you again.  

Now to have the discussion with him to let him know is another issue, but it has to be done.  :(

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hello lovely,

You shouldn't take all this emotional upheaval on yourself. I totally understand how you may feel, I was diagnosed with HSV-1 in the genital area 5 months ago following a very uncomfortable outbreak and when I heard the nurse tell me that I have it forever and there is no certantly who gave it to me my heart sank and was blaming myself for being dirty and how could I let this happen to me.


But now I have had another outbreak (which seems to be worse) and am worried it may be a HSV-2 and am going back to the clinic, but I've been with the same partner for the past 6 months so don't know if it's me or him because he has said he hasn't had any HSV symptoms in the genital area (apart from sometimes getting the occasional ulcer in his mouth when he is rundown) but he is very supportive with the whole situation and I think it's a good idea to be open with your partner when things like this arise.

But from what I gather is that you may already have had the virus but something has triggered it to flair up. Even a slight change in lifestyle could of set it off.

But remember you're amazing and you shouldn't let a skin problem like HSV define you.


if you need to talk, I'm here.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you for that Peace&Love.  I so appreciate you sharing your info.  It does help to know that there are others who have and are experiencing the same situation as I am right now.  I felt like a ton of bricks were laid on my chest and couldn't breathe.  I felt so embarrassed when the Dr said the words it looks like a herpes outbreak, when i was in the exam room. ( even though i Know she probably sees this alot) but let alone with the medical assistant in there.  I really felt dirty and like I was being judged, although I know it was just in my head at the time. 

But, with being on these forums and talking to others and seeing I am not alone, as well as the support from a family member, I am starting to feel the weight being lifted but I know I still have a loooong way to go.  I have to stop overthinking to so much because that's when it gets to me and feel like I'm going to have a panic attack....... especially when thinking about having to sit down and talk to my sons father.

Again, thank you so much for the support.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Donate

    If Honeycomb has helped you, please help us by making a donation so we can provide you with even better features and services.

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • Posts

    • FirstTimeUser
      @WilsoInAuswould appreciate your thoughts as have seen you comment quite a bit before!
    • Marlena
      Good morning. My name is Marlena and I come from Poland. Sorry, my English is average. For two years I have been in a relationship with a man, for a year and a half I have been struggling with intimate problems. On average, my intimate condition is getting worse every month. Then I feel itching, redness, swelling around the entrance to the vagina, small blisters (not always). Most often it is only red and swollen, itches and then disappears. This state lasts 3-4 days. I come from a small town, doctors don't know what it is. They say it's 'skin irritation'. They prescribe moisturizing creams with lactic acid, probiotics. It doesn't help. I did a blood test for HSV on my own, which is very expensive in Poland, but it does not separate HSV1 from HSV2. The doctor, when he shows these results, says that it's not herpes, but irritation. I would like to add that in the past I suffered from herpes on the lips, then it was a 'scab'. There has never been a scab in an intimate area. Sometimes there are blisters that last 1-2 days, but not always. So what do high blood test results mean? I would like to add that in Poland people do not talk about the HSV virus. It's just that sometimes someone has it on their lips and that's it. Results translation: IgM HSV 1/2: questionable IgG HSV 1/2: result above the measuring range https://files.fm/f/4cpu7uee4  
    • FirstTimeUser
      This is my first time posting here. Im generally pretty anxious when it comes to anything to do with health conditions etc. For context I have had jock itch and fungal infections previously on my buttcrack. I have had 0 new sexual partners and I am not concerned about my girlfriend cheating at all. 4 days ago my balls began itching and red pretty much all over, as you can see some general flakeyness and what looks to be a lesion I noticed on Monday when I checked them out. My partner and I do get cold sores from time to time so the anxious part of me is concerned this could be herpes, but at the same time could be some sort of fungal infection. My doctor cant see me until tomorrow so I just have to worry until then. There is no pain and nothing on the penis or anywhere else, just general itchiness. Any ideas if this is herpes or not?  
    • Jeremy Spokein
      Yes, but every married person who I found out about that has this waited 6-8 months into the relationship to disclose it. But maybe you're right. If I had told her 6-7 months in, she'd still have Googled it and flipped out, and maybe it would have been harder then. I don't know. I don't see myself going through this level of pain and rejection so easily next time. I really don't. I'm taking the meds. I use protection. It's been almost a decade since I've had it so I'm not worried about shedding or passing it on so easily. British studies confirm that the first 2 years are the most contagious and we're passed that. I'm just over this. I've never been in so much emotional pain in my life.
    • Possiblehypercon11
      @WilsoInAus would really appreciate your input please. Kinda freaking out lol. 
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.