Jump to content

HOW?!?!?


DownToEarth

Recommended Posts

I was diagnosed about a month ago with HSV2. Worst first outbreak ever. My boyfriend of 18 months just found out he does NOT have either HSV1 or 2. As far as I know my ex husband of 20 years didn't have it, but suspected he cheated on me during the last few months of our marriage. He denies it. Is it possible he has it and doesn't know it? We had a very contentious divorce and still blames me for everything. Do I tell him or not? He'll just call me names and accuse me of cheating on him (I didn't). Thoughts?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Do not tell him.  Why let him know  this about you.  it won't change the fact that you have it.  Same thing happened to me 25 years ago.  I am sooo glad I never let my ex know that I have HSV2 My boyfriend at the time got tested  ( and did not have it) also since I didn't get my first outbreak for 2 years after I had last slept with my ex.  The whole thing was mind blowing.  But my boyfriend stayed with me and we had 19 wonderful years.  He passed away 4 years ago suddenly of a stroke.  I am single again and joined this site to see what was going on with HSV cure etc.  

 

But I am so glad my ex-husband does not know that I have HSV2.  No one knows I have it now since the only person that ever knew is now deceased.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

28 minutes ago, DownToEarth said:

I was diagnosed about a month ago with HSV2. Worst first outbreak ever. My boyfriend of 18 months just found out he does NOT have either HSV1 or 2. As far as I know my ex husband of 20 years didn't have it, but suspected he cheated on me during the last few months of our marriage. He denies it. Is it possible he has it and doesn't know it? We had a very contentious divorce and still blames me for everything. Do I tell him or not? He'll just call me names and accuse me of cheating on him (I didn't). Thoughts?

Hi @DownToEarth

If you had a very bad outbreak, then the finger of suspicion still falls very heavily on the person you had sex with in the preceding week - your current boyfriend.

There maybe something that is no going quite right with the tests, or even assumptions made concerning swabs. The only blood test that has credibility is IgG type specific for HSV-1 and HSV-2.

What exact tests did you and your boyfriend have and what were the specific results? Generally the tests on blood will be IgG, IgM or PCR and the tests on a swab with be culture or PCR.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In terms of the blood test it also takes 3 months for antibodies to develop so if he has a quiet it recently then it would not showing as blood test but also some people just do not show antibodies not many but they do.  However in terms of your ex I would disagree about not telling him because if he does not know he has it he can be spreading it to other people but that of course is entirely up to you.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I say don't tell him, especially not right now. Not to be malicious but because it won't change the fact that you have it and you run the risk of him telling everyone you have it...I would make sure your boyfriends test is accurate first etc. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He had a blood test. I had a swab test. Mine came positive, his was negative. We are both dumbfounded that his results were negative. Should he request another test? According to my doctor (I finally got a hold of her today), the blood test he had is accurate. So how is all of this possible? I realize I can't change the fact I have this, but it's driving me nuts! 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Down to Earth

It might be worth your boyfriend taking the Western Blot test as it is more accurate than the IGG test. I'm not in any sense suggesting that he does this to determine if he is your giver, but more to ascertain whether you both have the virus.  If not, then you are aware that you need to take more due care. If he does in fact have it then it's business as usual for you. 

As @WilsoInAus says, the severity of your outbreak does suggest maybe a recent infection. The western blot should sort this all out and help you to know how to proceed.

I agree.... don't share this information with your ex. 

Take care

Lucy 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

30 minutes ago, DownToEarth said:

He had a blood test. I had a swab test. Mine came positive, his was negative. We are both dumbfounded that his results were negative. Should he request another test? According to my doctor (I finally got a hold of her today), the blood test he had is accurate. So how is all of this possible? I realize I can't change the fact I have this, but it's driving me nuts! 

I would get a printout of all tests.

Your swab is conclusive; you have a genital herpes infection. If the swab was tested using a culture, then it is possible that it was not typed. Hence a blood test at about 12 weeks will tell you the type.

Your partner needs to have had the IgG test. I have seen a few examples of doctors using PCR on blood lately for example which is the wrong test for herpes.If he has oral HSV-1 from childhood (very common, many with no symptoms in living memory) then he may not test positive on IgG for HSV-1 but would on Westernblot most likely. 

However the key lies in exactly what test has your partner just had performed on his blood?? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Donate

    If Honeycomb has helped you, please help us by making a donation so we can provide you with even better features and services.

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
      71.9k
    • Total Posts
      485.2k
  • Posts

    • FirstTimeUser
      @WilsoInAuswould appreciate your thoughts as have seen you comment quite a bit before!
    • Marlena
      Good morning. My name is Marlena and I come from Poland. Sorry, my English is average. For two years I have been in a relationship with a man, for a year and a half I have been struggling with intimate problems. On average, my intimate condition is getting worse every month. Then I feel itching, redness, swelling around the entrance to the vagina, small blisters (not always). Most often it is only red and swollen, itches and then disappears. This state lasts 3-4 days. I come from a small town, doctors don't know what it is. They say it's 'skin irritation'. They prescribe moisturizing creams with lactic acid, probiotics. It doesn't help. I did a blood test for HSV on my own, which is very expensive in Poland, but it does not separate HSV1 from HSV2. The doctor, when he shows these results, says that it's not herpes, but irritation. I would like to add that in the past I suffered from herpes on the lips, then it was a 'scab'. There has never been a scab in an intimate area. Sometimes there are blisters that last 1-2 days, but not always. So what do high blood test results mean? I would like to add that in Poland people do not talk about the HSV virus. It's just that sometimes someone has it on their lips and that's it. Results translation: IgM HSV 1/2: questionable IgG HSV 1/2: result above the measuring range https://files.fm/f/4cpu7uee4  
    • FirstTimeUser
      This is my first time posting here. Im generally pretty anxious when it comes to anything to do with health conditions etc. For context I have had jock itch and fungal infections previously on my buttcrack. I have had 0 new sexual partners and I am not concerned about my girlfriend cheating at all. 4 days ago my balls began itching and red pretty much all over, as you can see some general flakeyness and what looks to be a lesion I noticed on Monday when I checked them out. My partner and I do get cold sores from time to time so the anxious part of me is concerned this could be herpes, but at the same time could be some sort of fungal infection. My doctor cant see me until tomorrow so I just have to worry until then. There is no pain and nothing on the penis or anywhere else, just general itchiness. Any ideas if this is herpes or not?  
    • Jeremy Spokein
      Yes, but every married person who I found out about that has this waited 6-8 months into the relationship to disclose it. But maybe you're right. If I had told her 6-7 months in, she'd still have Googled it and flipped out, and maybe it would have been harder then. I don't know. I don't see myself going through this level of pain and rejection so easily next time. I really don't. I'm taking the meds. I use protection. It's been almost a decade since I've had it so I'm not worried about shedding or passing it on so easily. British studies confirm that the first 2 years are the most contagious and we're passed that. I'm just over this. I've never been in so much emotional pain in my life.
    • Possiblehypercon11
      @WilsoInAus would really appreciate your input please. Kinda freaking out lol. 
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.