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emmma

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emmma Newbie

emmma

Posted
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Hey everyone!

I was diagnosed about 5 months ago.  It was awful.  I was in a lot of pain and could not walk, move, or sleep for 2 weeks.  I cried a lot.  Thankfully, my boyfriend has been very supportive of me which has helped me realize that having herpes does not define who I am, and I can still live a happy life.

I know many people don't have this kind of help, so I would be happy to give people some encouragement.  Please reach out to me if you would like.

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Lisajd Platinum Support Member

Lisajd

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Hi emma and welcome and I'm glad that you are doing ok and please do offer some advice for how people can get through it because a lot of people feel like their life is over

  • emmma and Whyyyyy
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Lisajd Platinum Support Member

Lisajd

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Posted
On Sunday, April 23, 2017 at 2:35 AM, Whyyyyy said:

I'll take any encouragement you're willing to give emmmma! I'm a month post diagnosis and very sad!

Hi @Whyyyyy one month is still a very short time but tell me why are you feeling the way you are about this because it's important to identify the issue so that you can address it

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Whyyyyy Acknowledged Support Member

Whyyyyy

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9 minutes ago, Lisajd said:

Hi @Whyyyyy one month is still a very short time but tell me why are you feeling the way you are about this because it's important to identify the issue so that you can address it

I'm just struggling mentally...I'm in a relationship that was headed toward marriage and now I'm pushing him away Bc I fear infecting him. (We don't know if he has it already or not).

I just want my old life back. 

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Lisajd Platinum Support Member

Lisajd

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I think it is really important to understand that the only difference between your life before an hour is that you have a virus and yes there is a risk but it is 1% if you take medication and use protection but as you said he has not been tested yet so until you find out his results don't jump to any harsh decisions.  NEP is prepared to take the risk then don't push him away because it obviously so is that he wants to be with you and finding a keeper these days is hard.  Yes it is permanent but at the end of the day it is not terminal and that's what you have to keep in mind and put things into perspective.  80% of the population have cold sores what you have is the same thing but a different location that is all.  What sort of uncertainty is there

  • Whyyyyy and oldgal
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Whyyyyy Acknowledged Support Member

Whyyyyy

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Thank you Lisa, I guess the uncertainty of how he'll react mentally/physically if he finds out he has it. I'm not worried about me, I'm worried about him & vice versa.

He's very ignorant on the subject. He doesn't get that people really suffer from this physically. He doesn't think it's a big deal Bc I don't.

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      By Jeremy Spokein · Posted

      Thanks, CHT. I appreciate the feedback. The whole trauma of going through this has led me to figure out a lot about myself and my attachment wounds, so I'm taking courses to come out of this better. This girl really was my dream woman in so many ways, it's been the hardest heartbreak to deal with ever. I'm truly in a lot of pain, but using the pain as fuel to launch that new business and work with coaches. I also opened up to my family about HSV, so my parents and sister know now, and they were very loving and accepting of it. Since opening up about it, I feel way better around this thing. After opening up, I also found out that some mutual friends in our family have discordant couples who are married with children, so HSV hasn't stopped them from living a loving life. The thing is... all of these couples I mention did not disclose until 6-8 months into the relationship. So now I'm thinking it might be better not to disclose until I know things are very serious. I'll of course stay on the medication and use protection, but maybe this is a better route than disclosing upfront and scaring women off.
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