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Not sure what to do

kr827

By kr827,
in Disclosure (telling)

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kr827 Honeycomb Member

kr827

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Since being diagnosed, I thought about only trying to date guys that have hsv2 also.  I had my Snapchat info on my Tinder account when I was using it months ago.  I deleted Tinder when I was diagnosed due to the fact I met the guy that gave me herpes on there.  However, someone added me on Snapchat from Tinder before I deleted it and before I met my gifter.  Thought nothing of it because I wasn't actively using my Snapchat and when I would post a snap, he'd view it, but never said anything.  I stopped posting things on Snapchat when I was going through the motions of being newly diagnosed.  It's been 3 months since I got "h" and I started posting snaps again a few weeks ago  (mostly just of me and my boys).  Well this guy finally messaged me.  Again, thought nothing of it because I wasn't looking to date and am open to new friends.  We have been talking all day, every day for over a week now.  I realize that's not long, but talking all day gives you a good sense of someone's personality and character.  He seems like a really great guy and has told his best friend about me, showed her my pic, she even talked to me on the phone one night that he met her and her boyfriend at the bar.  He told me, "I am normally not one to be smitten over someone so fast and not saying I'm 100% there, but there's something about you".  I'm used to lines of BS when it comes to things just starting, but there haven't been any red flags here AT ALL.  I am never going to be intimate with someone without disclosing because I wasn't given a choice with my gifter (he didn't give a damn after I got it).  Part of me wants to tell this current guy about my h status now because I don't want to waste his time or mine if he would choose to not pursue things further.  I don't want to get to know him more, only to end up having it be he decides to run for the hills lol.  I will completely respect his decision if he chooses to do just that, but I'm not sure if telling him now or waiting would be the best approach....dont even know what to say so I don't ruin things either...any advice would be appreciated.  Thanks :)

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Stillme1968 Established Member

Stillme1968

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hope is that by getting to know the real you that he will decide to still stay with you after disclosing..lot of people go this route and I can understand why. Putting it out there on one of these dating sites can greatly reduce the number of people choosing to communicate with you in the first place. I think it's your call on this one but would encourage you to disclose to him before becoming intimate.

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LiveLife100 Established Member

LiveLife100

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@kr827. Knowing exactly when (aside from sometime before intimacy) can be a challenge and I think every person and every situation can be different and/or have a lot of right answers. As far as what this can look/sound like, there is a great section in here that talks about "giving the talk" that has some great tips to help it go more smoothly.

I would personally wait until I met him in person to see if there is a connection/attraction and take it from there. 

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