Jump to content

SJD

Recommended Posts

Hi everyone so it has been 2 weeks since I found myself crying in the nurses room... I am a nurse myself so I kind of knew what it was before they did... also my best friend was diagnosed 4 years ago and I supported her through this. 

So today I find myself sat on the train home from a conference in London.... my phone goes off and i get my results back... this confirms  HSV type 2. The nurse asked me how i was feeling, I tell her I'm already having another outbreak 2 weeks later and that I was ok... ( big fat lie) 

Even though I knew what I was dealing with... this confirmation feels like a big slap in the face. I am going through so many emotions at the moment which I imagine is normal... despite having the support of my best friend who has been through this I feel very isolated. 

I'm in my mid 20s, single and thinking how the hell will anyone see past this?!? How could I be so stupid?!? You are a nurse you should know better?!?! Why is this happening?!?! 

I guess I'm my own worst enemy. 

Do most people feel like this in the beginning? 

Xx

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well the good news is you have your best friend to talk to, who knows exactly how you are feeling!

Yes I think everyone feels like that at the beginning. People will see past it, but first you have to come to terms with it and see past it yourself. Do some research on this forum, gain some knowledge and it should make you feel better, it did for me. 
I basically didn't get out of bed for two weeks unless it was to eat or something because I was so depressed. 
But I am feeling better and more positive every day. 
You will too!
Hugs for you x

Link to comment
Share on other sites

SDJ, I'm in your same boat! It's totally normal. I'm a newbie as well. We'll get through this one day at a time! Sending hugs your way!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The guy I am seeing would also rather not discuss it... it must be a male thing. They never seem to want to talk about anything that's actually important 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 minutes ago, BumbleBee22 said:

The guy I am seeing would also rather not discuss it... it must be a male thing. They never seem to want to talk about anything that's actually important 

Frustrating because I'm struggling but I feel like I have to hide it. He just wants to continue on like normal...which I guess I shouldn't complain about. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Exactly how I feel. I forced him to talk about it with me the other day and felt a lot better for it, he's just taken this stance that it's not a big deal so he doesn't want to dwell on it... which is great and helpful but at the same time I am still coming to terms with it, my outbreak is still healing so I have a mix of emotional and psyichal turmoil that I need to vent about, and I don't think he appreciates that. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have never really talked about it with my boyfriend because it's no big deal to him and I think that's what you need to understand as well that it really isn't a big deal. when someone's accepting you and taking the risk then just enjoy that fact.  I understand how having herpes can make you feel but if you keep on swelling on it and talking about it then you never truly can accept it and it ends up consuming you.. 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, Lisajd said:

I have never really talked about it with my boyfriend because it's no big deal to him and I think that's what you need to understand as well that it really isn't a big deal. when someone's accepting you and taking the risk then just enjoy that fact.  I understand how having herpes can make you feel but if you keep on swelling on it and talking about it then you never truly can accept it and it ends up consuming you.. 

You're exactly right Lucy. Truth is I'm just scared. Thank you!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 hours ago, Lisajd said:

I have never really talked about it with my boyfriend because it's no big deal to him and I think that's what you need to understand as well that it really isn't a big deal. when someone's accepting you and taking the risk then just enjoy that fact.  I understand how having herpes can make you feel but if you keep on swelling on it and talking about it then you never truly can accept it and it ends up consuming you.. 

I think my issue is, I've only recently been diagnosed, and the guy I'm seeing, we have only been seeing each other just over a month. 

I am pretty certain that I contracted it from him, and I am also certain that he didn't know he had it. 

However, since me finding out, we've only had two conversations about it, the intital one and then this Friday when I basically couldn't keep how I was feeling in anymore. 

I was annoyed because I'm feeling down and felt like he didn't appreciate how this diagnosis has effected me and also he still hasn't gone and got himself tested. I feel like he's avoiding it and putting his head in the sand so that he doesn't have to deal with the situation and can carry on being in denial and having a virus that he's spreading. 

Anyway, we did eventually talk about it and he said he would go and get tested, but this still hasn't happened. I'm going to give him a week to do it himself otherwise I'm going to have to bring it up again but this time phrase it that I am basically telling him that in order to continue seeing me he needs to go and get tested. 

Am I wrong for wanting that ? My roommate who I have told feels strongly that it's very disrespectful that he hasn't got tested and isn't talking about it. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ha this sounds very familiar!!!! 

The guy I presume I got it from (one I've been sleeping with for past 6 months) was amazing when I told him, then said he had never had any symptoms down below but does have treatment for it on his leg?!?!?! But instead of continuing to support has now gone AWAL .....I'm hurt by this massively but hey I can't change it so why worry. I just worry about his future partners.... not my circus not my monkey.... I am struggling today I feel very angry for the first time since diagnosis x

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 minutes ago, BumbleBee22 said:

I go through phases of anger/denial/depression/acceptance every day with this haha it's sucks. 

Hopefully will level out soon for both of us x 

Same here. I can't take the mood swings.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Fellow nurse with GHSV2...hugs to you all!!! I also feel like I should've known better, and was an emotional train wreck at first too. Boyfriend also didn't want to talk about it much, prefers to keep it on a back burner. I turned to this forum for support and a few close friends. IDK anyone else who has it besides my boyfriend so I struggled with not being able to talk face to face with someone as well.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I knows it's hard but things will be better, hsv is extremely common. People always say they should of known better but it's hard these days when testing don't regularly check for hsv. Any potential partner could unknowingly carry... It's a mad thought but true. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thankyou for your support everyone it means a lot 

I'm on an emotional rollercoaster at the moment ha and I'm getting the keys to my first home tomorrow I need to put a smile on my face but I'm so down today. Xx

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

32 minutes ago, SJD said:

Thankyou for your support everyone it means a lot 

I'm on an emotional rollercoaster at the moment ha and I'm getting the keys to my first home tomorrow I need to put a smile on my face but I'm so down today. Xx

keep focused on the house, you still are the person you where! well done on getting your own property!

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

There are things that we go through in life that really can suck but they're also a lot of really good things in life and we need to just really focus on enjoying life and not letting these sorts of things get to us.  And really if you manage outbreaks you don't even know that you have HSV until you have to disclose to somebody and most people at pretty accepting of it these days.  @SJD if you have only been with this guy for a short time and you give him an ultimatum it will make him showed his true colours about what he really wants and if he walks away then let him walk.  Having herpes can actually be an advantage because it weeds out the guys who don't really want to commit to anything. And if you say he already has an issue on his leg he may already know that he has it hence why he doesn't need to get tested because he knows

Link to comment
Share on other sites

How do you even begin the conversation with someone new? :( I feel like a really bad static in this small town. Like its always the same person off and on for years and now this. I'm so mad at myself and trying to push through each day. I've been reading and still confused.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You could approach it from the perspective that if things are going to progress will need to get mutual STD testing all you talk about it from the perspective of cold sores and ask him if he ever gets cold sores

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, Lisajd said:

There are things that we go through in life that really can suck but they're also a lot of really good things in life and we need to just really focus on enjoying life and not letting these sorts of things get to us.  And really if you manage outbreaks you don't even know that you have HSV until you have to disclose to somebody and most people at pretty accepting of it these days.  @SJD if you have only been with this guy for a short time and you give him an ultimatum it will make him showed his true colours about what he really wants and if he walks away then let him walk.  Having herpes can actually be an advantage because it weeds out the guys who don't really want to commit to anything. And if you say he already has an issue on his leg he may already know that he has it hence why he doesn't need to get tested because he knows

Lisa, does your partner have HSV too?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Donate

    If Honeycomb has helped you, please help us by making a donation so we can provide you with even better features and services.

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
      71.9k
    • Total Posts
      485.2k
  • Posts

    • CHT
      Hi "Jeremy"..... I agree, the topic of your HSV status does not need to be something you disclose too soon in a developing relationship..... get to know each other first....see how it's going and as it progresses, then the HSV issue will naturally need to be revealed.... it's my personal opinion though that before there is any sexual encounter you ought to disclose your HSV status.... I know some will disagree with me on this but, I think it is morally wrong not to disclose first.  This can be a make/break situation for most people but, again, I feel it is simply wrong not to give the other person the whole story since your decision not to disclose could put their health at risk.... that is simply not an option in my opinion.  Looking back to my "pre-HSV" life I most certainly would want my partner to disclose their HSV+ status before intimacy so that I could make my decision as to whether I want to take that risk or not.... 
    • Jeremy Spokein
      Thanks, CHT. I appreciate the feedback. The whole trauma of going through this has led me to figure out a lot about myself and my attachment wounds, so I'm taking courses to come out of this better. This girl really was my dream woman in so many ways, it's been the hardest heartbreak to deal with ever. I'm truly in a lot of pain, but using the pain as fuel to launch that new business and work with coaches. I also opened up to my family about HSV, so my parents and sister know now, and they were very loving and accepting of it. Since opening up about it, I feel way better around this thing. After opening up, I also found out that some mutual friends in our family have discordant couples who are married with children, so HSV hasn't stopped them from living a loving life. The thing is... all of these couples I mention did not disclose until 6-8 months into the relationship. So now I'm thinking it might be better not to disclose until I know things are very serious. I'll of course stay on the medication and use protection, but maybe this is a better route than disclosing upfront and scaring women off.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @Lcj987 and welcome to the website. You can be sure that isn't HSV-2, looks nothing like it. It is much more likely to be folliculitis or inflamed fordyce spots.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @JackThrowAway herpes causes an outbreak where it enters the body first and maybe a progressive spread. If it doesn't cause an outbreak at the entry site then it won't cause one elsewhere, it also won't 'jump' upon infection - it would be more likely that the lesions are continuous from the penis to the anus. Nevertheless, testing trumps symptoms or any interpretation of symptoms. The correct conclusive result arises when: you have a positive swab; or An IgG HSV-2 level over 3.5 (Herpeselect test).
    • Lcj987
      Slept with someone unprotected, roughly 2 weeks ago now. I felt generally unwell the couple of days after but I’d been drinking the whole weekend and didn’t have much sleep either of the days of that weekend so put it down to that. 6 days after I noticed these spots appear on the shaft of my penis. Along with symptoms of discomfort in my shaft in the couple of days prior to them appearing. No pain when urinating at all that I have noticed. They don’t hurt, itch or tingle and they don’t have fluid in from what I can see or feel if I squeeze them and have never burst? I went to a sexual health clinic to get checked up, they took bloods to do a full test and looked at the spots but said they saw nothing that concerned them but I’m not sure about that, any advice? The smaller spots under the shaft are just follicles I had diagnosed years ago and non-sti related.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.