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What are some things you did to move on from the shock of this?


Whyyyyy

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I'm having a really hard time coping with this diagnosis. To be honest I'm falling into a deep depression. I haven't accomplished many of the things I would like to accomplish. What are some things that have helped you move on to live happily again and stop obsessing over it?

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I was very fortunate that I already knew the diagnosis of a good friend of mine. She was diagnosed after her first sexual encounter so literally knew no dating life without it! And she dated, fell in love (many times) and got married. So I knew that was possible and I did the same. I feel so blessed to have her in my life. 

But... now there is support like this site (that I didn't even know to look for until a year ago)! And I think this support - especially reading the "secret to our success" stories can help you see that life does go on. Also, if you do have the opportunity, there are groups all over the country that connect and meet. Often meeting people in person (completely NORMAL people!!) helps you to see that this is ALL around you in this secret society and it's totally normal.

Lastly... I think it just takes a little time and self love too. We are all here for you. If you need to talk you can also call me - message me your number or I can send you mine. ((hugs))

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Whyyyy I don't know the secret to dealing with this, as I'm sort of in the same boat as you. All I can offer to you is you're more then welcome to contact me whenever you need to! Sending love your way :two_hearts:

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Whyyy I just listened to this TED talk and I found it pretty powerful, give it a listen. Also, if you haven't watched the one on STI's from Ella Dawson - google that and listen to that as well. 
 


 

It looks like the video link to the TED talk didn't work - if it didn't look up Brene Brown TED Vulnerability

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I pray... you know the serenity prayer.  God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can't change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Say it over and over helps me!

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IDK, at some point I just stopped caring that I had it.  Took about a year, but as soon as symptoms subsided I was like pffft, IDGAF if I got this.  And to be sure the circumstances surrounding my getting HSV were definitely life changing.  Over the past two years I've fallen more into the camp of "dont tell", unpopular as it may be around here.  Once you let go of that, life gets a lot easier and you forgive yourself and move on.  

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Travel and see the world. Nothing better than to see how much more there is to life. After i was feeing down for a while I finally went out of my comfort zone, applied for a tour promoter job in italy, had an interview and got the job. Now this August i will be living in Italy for 4 months traveling europe....

Change your life. I think if i didnt get this diagnosis, I wouldn't have had the guts to apply and i would have never had this opportunity. Herpes Who? Lol life goes on

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20 minutes ago, Soconfused2 said:

Travel and see the world. Nothing better than to see how much more there is to life. After i was feeing down for a while I finally went out of my comfort zone, applied for a tour promoter job in italy, had an interview and got the job. Now this August i will be living in Italy for 4 months traveling europe....

Change your life. I think if i didnt get this diagnosis, I wouldn't have had the guts to apply and i would have never had this opportunity. Herpes Who? Lol life goes on

So cool! Thank you for the encouragement! Sounds awesome! I hope I find the silver lining soon!

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48 minutes ago, Soconfused2 said:

Travel and see the world. Nothing better than to see how much more there is to life. After i was feeing down for a while I finally went out of my comfort zone, applied for a tour promoter job in italy, had an interview and got the job. Now this August i will be living in Italy for 4 months traveling europe....

Change your life. I think if i didnt get this diagnosis, I wouldn't have had the guts to apply and i would have never had this opportunity. Herpes Who? Lol life goes on

You know thats so true.  Go to disadvantages countries and having hsv will seem like nothing in comparison.  My motto it could be worse and there are worse off people in the world.  Having hsv does not stop you doing what you want.  Your attitude towards it and your mind does.  

Congrats on your job thats awesome.  Im off to cambodia in a few weeks.  No doubt it will stop me thinking my life sux (hsv aside)

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      @WilsoInAuswould appreciate your thoughts as have seen you comment quite a bit before!
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      Good morning. My name is Marlena and I come from Poland. Sorry, my English is average. For two years I have been in a relationship with a man, for a year and a half I have been struggling with intimate problems. On average, my intimate condition is getting worse every month. Then I feel itching, redness, swelling around the entrance to the vagina, small blisters (not always). Most often it is only red and swollen, itches and then disappears. This state lasts 3-4 days. I come from a small town, doctors don't know what it is. They say it's 'skin irritation'. They prescribe moisturizing creams with lactic acid, probiotics. It doesn't help. I did a blood test for HSV on my own, which is very expensive in Poland, but it does not separate HSV1 from HSV2. The doctor, when he shows these results, says that it's not herpes, but irritation. I would like to add that in the past I suffered from herpes on the lips, then it was a 'scab'. There has never been a scab in an intimate area. Sometimes there are blisters that last 1-2 days, but not always. So what do high blood test results mean? I would like to add that in Poland people do not talk about the HSV virus. It's just that sometimes someone has it on their lips and that's it. Results translation: IgM HSV 1/2: questionable IgG HSV 1/2: result above the measuring range https://files.fm/f/4cpu7uee4  
    • FirstTimeUser
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    • Jeremy Spokein
      Yes, but every married person who I found out about that has this waited 6-8 months into the relationship to disclose it. But maybe you're right. If I had told her 6-7 months in, she'd still have Googled it and flipped out, and maybe it would have been harder then. I don't know. I don't see myself going through this level of pain and rejection so easily next time. I really don't. I'm taking the meds. I use protection. It's been almost a decade since I've had it so I'm not worried about shedding or passing it on so easily. British studies confirm that the first 2 years are the most contagious and we're passed that. I'm just over this. I've never been in so much emotional pain in my life.
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      @WilsoInAus would really appreciate your input please. Kinda freaking out lol. 
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