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Newly diagnosed and not coping well

Moonshiner8928

By Moonshiner8928,
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Moonshiner8928 Newbie

Moonshiner8928

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hello.....ive been newly diagnosed and im having a hard time....any help would be amazing.....i feel like my world is crashing.....i feel like people that do know look at me in a disgusting light....i feel like my fiancee is gonna leave....wr currently live with her parents and i told them and they freaked out and made me feel like an abomination......idk....any tips?

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herpes454 Honeycomb Member

herpes454

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I'd stop telling everyone about it, it's none of their business, why should her parents have to know?  Did you get it from your fiance or did you cheat on her and get it?  That's a while nother ball of wax but definitely survivable if you're both up to it.  The only ones who ever told was my wife and the girl I got it from, though she couldn't have given a shit either way, and frankly I've come around to that mindset as well now too. 

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markymark Honeycomb Member

markymark

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3 hours ago, crazeeflipsk8er said:

hello.....ive been newly diagnosed and im having a hard time....any help would be amazing.....i feel like my world is crashing.....i feel like people that do know look at me in a disgusting light....i feel like my fiancee is gonna leave....wr currently live with her parents and i told them and they freaked out and made me feel like an abomination......idk....any tips?

The first thing to remember is that most people carry at least either hsv1 or hsv 2. Your fiancee's parents probably have it too. Maybe they never get an outbreak, or they did once, it was mild, they ignored it and they forgot about it.

It's also worth remembering that you might have got it from your fiancee. Most people carry the virus and don't know about it. In turn she might have picked it up as a child. Or maybe you did too and it just flared up now.

People who say I got it from this or that person or not always right, they are just guessing, it's usually not possible to say even if one has only had one sexual partner as both 1 and 2 can live in different parts of the body. You could have sex, 4 days later get an outbreak and it might still be from some time previous. Sometimes if one is tested with some regularity and a doctor interprets the timing of results from swabs, IgM and then IgG antibodies one can make a more informed statemtns but how many people does that apply to?

You obviously got some symptoms and bothered to get it diagnosed - that doesn't make you a bad person. But it's obviously made you think about it a lot and feel bad. It is frustrating but you will get over it. Again, you are in the majority of the population, just perhaps unlucky to get some symptoms. Hopefully they decrease or disappear for you. Ask your doctor for medication to treat it, follow the instructions and see how it goes, with some luck you'll hopefully be symptom free soon.

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Sassyhart Honeycomb Member

Sassyhart

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Markymark is right. The statistics for how many ppl hav herpes diagnosis is astounding. It's just not talked about. And it's best that if you need to talk to someone. Don't tell ppl who don't cause they don't understand. It's a scary thing for sure. But you are not alone. Stay positive and remember there is balance. So when it seems every one is judging. There's equal if not more ppl that would be supportive of your struggle.

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Lisajd Platinum Support Member

Lisajd

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What I would be doing as well as giving your fiance's parents some information about HSV that show statistics of it orally and genitally.  The next step is also to get your fiance tested.  Which type where you actually diagnosed with and how are you diagnosed

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