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Jewel_07

Still in Shock

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Jewel_07

I never thought I would have this.I've always been really healthy.I just made wrong choices.Like having unprotected sex.My mind is so cloudy right now, my thoughts are a blur.The last 3 days have been extremely hard for me.The first thing that came to my head is no one will ever want me.There's so many things going on in my head.I called my ex husband yesterday and today for support.I had to talk to somebody.I've had extreme crying spells and panic attacks.I'm already on paxical for depression.But my medication isn't helping as good due to the extreme shock I'm in.Monday is when I found out in a letter from the clinic.Saying your herpes test was positive on a post it note attached to a valtrex prescription.They didnot educate me about the virus or anything.I called the dr.And she seemed very cold to me on the phone.I was like are you sure the test was correct and she said yes it's positive .I burst in to tears and I literally cried for hours and getting off the phone with her.Then woke up tuesday morning and I seriously wanted to die.I had extreme suicidal thoughts.But When I talkeed to my ex husband and my friend .They both told me to call them if I ever feel or think stupid things like killing myself.I also talked the national herpes hotline and they calmed me.But when I get these panic attacks , they are horrible.I know my life will never ne the same and I know everything happens for a reason but I just don't understand right now why it happpened to me.I know i was living very careless, not using protection with the guys i was dating in the past year but never did i think i would end up like this,My friend told me maybe this was meant to be,to get me to slow down and take care of myself better.I don't know.I just know I have 2 beautiful children to live for.soall Imasking from this site is support.I was hesitate to come on here and share but I feel it will be good for me.I have been a nervous wreck for the past few days and I feel like my world just stopped for a bit.But I know there are blessings in tragedies.Maybe god has a plan for my life that i knew nothing about.Out of my own stupidity.

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catiesmom

Welcome to the forum. The people here are really supportive, and there's a lot of really good information on this site that will hopefully eventually help you realize that HSV is not the end of your life, or even the end of your sex life. Maybe your friend is right -- maybe it's a sign that you need to slow down and be more careful about your choices. At least, that's the way i'm taking it. I was celibate for almost 3 years, trying to get over my ex, and the first guy i fool around with after 3 years gave this to me. I think that's my signal to stop "fooling around" and realize that i have more serious things to worry about than what guy i can hook up with -- like my kid!

I'm glad you're here. In addition to the support you're getting from your ex husband and your friend, it can really help to talk to someone who knows what you're going through. I know the first few days and weeks and even months can be really hard, and pulling yourself out of the depression tailspin can be tough, but you can do it, and we're here to help you, listen to you, educate you, whatever we can. Hang in there!!

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LilMomma23

Response to u

Hey girl I totally understand how you feel. It hasn't been three days for me it's been well today.... I just found out they aren't sure which one I have if it's hsv 1 or 2 so I have to go back tomorrow. Never had any outbreaks or any symptoms. Was in a bad relationship with my ex fiancee and he cheated on me all the time, even when I was pregnant with out son. I really do think he is the one who gave it to me. I guess that's not really relivant now is it? I'm scared for my son, myself and I'm scared of what people will do when they find out. I am also taking anti depressants. I suffer from anxiety and depression. It's a hard road ahead and I'm looking for support and looking to give it. I'm going through a roller coaster of emotions right now and how the 21st century is funny cause I automatically jumped on the net to find out as much information as I possibly could.... I called my ex fiancee for support today. We don't get along very well and have had bad feelings since I wouldn't get back with him and distanced myself and my son away from him.... But he was very calm and understanding. I wanted to inform him. I told my boyfriend first though and were hoping that this doesn't ruin our relationship.... I'm here for ya girl let's talk

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burc08

All I know is that time will heal all wounds, even this one that it is with us forever. It's only the initial shock that hurts us emotionally, but thankfully it DOES go away. Yes, some of us have to deal with physical aspects but it's the emotions that hurt us more I believe, and, at least for me and other people I've known, the emotional pain goes away once you realize how wonderful a person you were before H and how wonderful you sitll are with H.

Please strong. As I've been telling everyone on here, reach out for God and Christ. Become spiritual. It helps you realize HSV is only just another hurdle we must jump over in this short time period we call life.

Fortunately, you're not alone. If you come on here and see how many newly diagnosed people come on here EVERY day, you'll realize you have a family of supporters and those who know exactly where you come from. Breathe deeply and talk to God.

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