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DreamNot

Second outbreak, 12 years later and infected an inocent person

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DreamNot

Hello, I thought I could maybe soften this embarrassment I have inside talking about it, hope it helps.

Well, the thing is that I really dont know how in the world I got this thing (the oral herpes) My first outbreak ocurred when I was 11 years old maybe 12, I was a very shy boy and by then I dont remember it being a huge issue for me, I simply thought it was a temporary thing.

Now I have 23, in college, and I had my second outbreak last weak, my mother told me it could maybe be an herpes, I didnt know much about it so I started to google the word up. I saw it fitted well to its description and started to remember what could I have done to get it, that weekend I went to the beach, got a lot of sun, shared almost every drink I had, shared cigarretes, etc. Finished thinking it was a recurrence...

The more I read about it the more infected and sick I felt. I started being very carefull with my things, no one could drink anything from my glasses, couldnt kiss my girlfried, tried not to touch much, wash my face as many times as possible with soap and water, etc.

Next day I got the aciclovir and started treating it, I must say the blister was kinda small, and by the second day it had dried safely.

I had almost everything controlled except that hours before I felt the itching, just when I was going to bed, I had kissed good bye to a friend in the lips. When reading about the herpes found out its highly transmissible days before blister appears.

I saw her today, happy as usual, a week has passed since the kiss, and when talking to her I noticed a small white pimple like spot between her lip and the skin. I felt horrible, like I was the devil, if she had herpes it was from me, I got nervous quitted talking to her an left. Most people didnt noticed my 90% cured herpes, or maybe they tried not to mention it.

I really dont know what to do, she has a very clear face and I dont think that was a pimple. We have a very fun relationship, we enjoy each other a lot but I dont know how is this going to be now that she probably knows I infected her with such an horrifying disease...

I have some questions like:

My second outbreak comes 12 years after the first one, is that often?

I have read (somewhere, not here) I have to boil my cutlery to avoid any possible transmision in the house. Is that right? Can anyone mention indirect forms to contract the oral herpes. That would be great!

Thanks

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DreamNot

I have to add I couldnt possibly know I had an outbreak when I kissed her since I had 12 years without having one, and did not have symptoms by that time.

I also should say I missed like 3 days of class plus weekend just waiting it got better.

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Caliope

It is not uncommon to have been infected with this as a kid in an innocent way and to not have an outbreak for many years.

Yes it is contagious if there is skin to skin contact even if there is not a sore. Kissing, sharing drinks or sharing cigarettes or eating off of the same utensil. You DO NOT have to boil your cutlery just wash it well in warm soapy water.

You do not know that you infected your friend. Your friend could experience coldsores from their own childhood infection - or NOT. How could you be sure? Do you know with all certainty that you are the only person in your group of friends who has coldsores? I bet you aren't the only one. If she mentions it then by all means be honest and tell her what you've experienced.

Yes, now that you know you get coldsores you should be careful and let people know about it especially if you perform oral sex on someone or kiss someone who may perform oral sex on you as it can be transferred to the genitals and for most people this is more devastating.

BTW Abreva can be helpful in treating oral herpes coldsores.

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MsLucy

Stop beating yourself up, DreamNot. If you haven't had a cold sore in 12 years, there was no reason to think one was imminent. And there is a chance that what she had was just a pimple. If it was anything really unusual, wouldn't she have mentioned that she had this weird thing on her lip and she didn't know what it was? Even people with normally clear skin get occasional blemishes.

Wait and see what develops before you start kicking yourself to the curb.

To answer your questions, 12 years is a long time between outbreaks, so your immune system must be working pretty well to contriol the virus. If you got an unusual amount of sun at the beach, that may have triggered the ob. Too much sun has been known to do that.

And no, you don't have to boil anything. Soap and hot water kills the virus quite effectively. And if you have another ob, be sure to wash your hands after touching your face. I'm sure you already do that, but I just thought I'd throw it in. (That's the mom in me showing through. :))

There's nothing horrifying about herpes, DreamNot. You shouldn't feel like some kind of social pariah because you get an occasional cold sore. Although they're a pain in the ass when you have one, I'm sure, just be glad you get them so infrequently. Not everyone is so fortunate. Take care.

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DreamNot

Oral sex performed to somebody who has coldsores in there lips.

Hi, lets say one has a coldsore in the lip, both (the couple) knowing this try not to kiss or touch much but anyway she performs oral sex to me, is this risky enough not to do it?

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Claudia

I have a question. I was diagnosed today with oral herpes. Some friends are always sharing drinks with me and eat off my plate. While they will respect me not wanting to share stuff they may have had saliva contact with, some will not care that I have had saliva contact with food they want to try with a clean fork. Even if I say I am coming down with a cold, some will not care and will say they want to eat anyway, asking jokingly "you don't have any diseases, do you?" Always before I would say nothing that I know of, but now what? Am I responsible for telling those who insists on eating or drinking my food like we always have that I have this? I don't want to put anyone at risk, but I also don't want it to be everyone's business.

What do you guys think? Any advice on how I can protect these folks who are completely not scared of germs while respecting my own privacy? Help?

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catiesmom

Claudia, i have a problem with this too. Up until i got this, i didn't care at all. Now, i can see it in a whole different light. I have a coworker here who has never allowed himself to eat after me or for me to eat after him, and his reasoning (although not necessarily HSV) is becoming more clear.

Could you perhaps mention you've been doing some research (say a friend had something?) and have discovered that things you don't want can pass easily, ie herpes/cold sores? Maybe making it sound like you just STUMBLED across the information. Say you read an article or heard someone talk about it or something? I haven't figured out how i'm going to handle that one either, but thankfully the only person i'm close enough to worry about this with knows, and i don't have oral HSV.

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Caliope

dreamnot - as far as I know it is the skin to skin contact that is the risk here. if you have a coldsore and you perform oral sex on someone they can get a genital infection. both parties should make sure they are informed about their coldsores and how it is transmitted. why are you trying not to touch or kiss but performing oral sex?

claudia - when it comes to utensils and food I just don't know that I'd consider that skin to skin contact. there is a very small risk of contracting a virus this way. not worth freaking out about in my own opinion. more people die from the flu every year than from coldsores.

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catiesmom
more people die from the flu every year than from coldsores.

I love that. That's great. :)

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DreamNot

Pasive oral sex on a person with coldsore

dreamnot - as far as I know it is the skin to skin contact that is the risk here. if you have a coldsore and you perform oral sex on someone they can get a genital infection. both parties should make sure they are informed about their coldsores and how it is transmitted. why are you trying not to touch or kiss but performing oral sex?

claudia - when it comes to utensils and food I just don't know that I'd consider that skin to skin contact. there is a very small risk of contracting a virus this way. not worth freaking out about in my own opinion. more people die from the flu every year than from coldsores.

She performs oral sex to me and I'm the one with oral herpes, is that bad?

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DreamNot

Indirect forms of cathing oral herpes-coldsores, true or false?

when it comes to utensils and food I just don't know that I'd consider that skin to skin contact.

I have researched on internet a bit (read some spanish articles too), and although I always read its a skin to skin contact, I also read there are indirect forms of catching oral herpes like:

sharing cigarrettes,

sharing drinks,

I have read even read that sharing towels could transmit herpes,

touching the herpes and then some other part of the body could also re-infect you.

My first question was, how can a virus live throughout so many different environments.

Since I'm a very sceptical person I really havent believed it at 100%, but I still have the doubt.

Can anyone explain that a little?

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Caliope

Anything is possible but many things are unlikely. If you made it about percentages you have a very slim chance of transmitting this virus through inanimate objects.

You'd almost certainly have to have a huge weeping sore come into direct contact with the object and then come into contact with broken skin.

The best way to prevent and reduce the chances of transmission is to:

(1) avoid contact in the presence of an active sore or lesion; (if you have a coldsore don't kiss someone or engage in oral sex or share your cigarette or utensil until it is gone);

(2) Wash frequently with warm soapy water when in contact with an active lesion or you accidentally touch it;

(3) Keep your immune system strong and healthy and be aware that when your immune system is compromised you are more susceptible to outbreaks;

(4) use suppressive antiviral medications; and

(5) educate yourself about the signs and symptoms of outbreaks so that you can prevent spreading the virus to other.

The virus cannot live without a host. It will die quickly outside of the body.

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Anon

Dreamnot,

Just make sure you do not give oral sex to a woman when you have a cold sore. Also, do not give oral sex if you have itching or any other signs that you may get one. Also, allow yourself time to heal before giving oral sex.

As for kissing, do not feel so bad. It is very common to have hsv1. Even many people who do not have cold sores, have hsv1 antibodies. These people probably just were exposed to a little bit of the virus. It is almost impossible to avoid hsv1 contact entirely. The majority of people will come into contact with it orally one way or another. It usually is asymptomatic UNLESS you are given a heavy dose or you are exposed when you are very young and your immune system is not completely developed.

I also wanted to add that I thought my bf didn't have hsv1 because he never had a cold sore I could see or one he could feel- but he ended up being infected. Also, I never had a cold sore and I know I have been exposed to it.

So just be prudent and everything will be fine!

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It's.no.biggie!

could be just a pimple

hey dreamnot, just wanted to let you know that I've gotten ordinary pimples around my lips before from using certain kinds of lipgloss or not washing my face. The skin there has plently of pores that can get plugged up, just like the rest of your body. So don't beat yourself up too much, it could be a zit.

Sorry if that was already mentioned, I didn't have time to read through all the responses.

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tinkbell311

although its our job knowing we're infected to tell other people it is also others job to take care of themselves as well, theres not much you can do now but to continue to get informed and to consider others carefully but yourself as well...skin to skin contact remember that.

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taryn2482

Hi

Hi I have a question. Does anyone have herpes where theres only one BUMP at a time, not a blister, or has anyone ever heard of people having herpes like that?. For 7 months, I've been getting these bumps mostly one at a time, once 2 at a time, about 5 times now. They are hard underneath, usually dont burst or pop, but i have popped one and puss and a tiny bit of blood came out. I dont know whether i should think it is herpes or not. They dont really hurt at all unless i squeeze them and irritate them, and they dont raelly itch. And if someone could tell me how to make my own post, id really appreciate it. Im new here, and i cant find out how to make my own post.

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taryn2482
Hi I have a question. Does anyone have herpes where theres only one BUMP at a time, not a blister, or has anyone ever heard of people having herpes like that?. For 7 months, I've been getting these bumps mostly one at a time, once 2 at a time, about 5 times now. They are hard underneath, usually dont burst or pop, but i have popped one and puss and a tiny bit of blood came out. I dont know whether i should think it is herpes or not. They dont really hurt at all unless i squeeze them and irritate them, and they dont raelly itch. And if someone could tell me how to make my own post, id really appreciate it. Im new here, and i cant find out how to make my own post.

also.. this is not on my face, its on my vagina

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Caliope

taryn2482, it could be something else I'd have your dr take a look at it. It isn't like you don't have pores etc that can get clogged in that area.

Ask for a blood test just to be sure.

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It's.no.biggie!

Hey taryn, what you described sounds like another thing I've had before that was not herpes related--I don't remember what they're called, but there's a medical term for them. Funny story: when I was around nine, I found one of these bumps, and went to my mom and said, "mom, I think I have herpes." (after seeing something about it on TV). Then she explained to me that you would need to have sex to have herpes. Oh the irony..

I'd definately follow Caliope's advice and talk to a doctor, cause it sounds a lot like what I'm thinking of and you're probably wasting a lot of time worrying about it.

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taryn2482

Thanks so much yall, you've really helped relieve my anxiety enough not to fret over it all day like i have been for quite a while!

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