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Hello, so I am studying abroad and I met a really sweet guy when I first visited a few years ago. We kept in touch since. Now, we mainly have small talk, due to language barriers, and I told him a few weeks ago that I had HSV2. He consoled me and said I was still a good person. 

*Sigh. Last night, we both got naked and one thing led to another and... for some (stupid) reason, he didn't put on a condom and I did not call him out for it. He asked me "are you okay?" in his language and I assumed he meant if I was okay emotionally and I said yes. So, we had like a minute of quick shower sex cause it was uncomfortable and we washed up right after. 

We were sitting on my bed when he pulls out his phone and used google translate to ask me a question. He asked when I got all better and I was puzzled - he meant "are you okay?" as in if I was cured from the illness. So for about an hour, we talked about how I have herpes and I guess that proper communication was lost --- basically, he thought that herpes wasn't for life and that I received treatment. I then had to explain what it was and so forth. I feel like absolute sh*t because I have put this nice guy's wellbeing in danger, perfectly knowing I had this condition and that I could spread it.

Yes, I know the rates of how prevalent it is, that it's a disease and not the end of the world, but I just never thought I'd be the one to pass it on. He keeps saying that everything will be okay, that he isn't upset with me, and that he will get tested in a few weeks.  

But, I made a mistake that was easily preventable. 


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There are some factors hear that you probably need to consider before you think that you have put him at risk.  For example when did you last have an outbreak and secondly sex that was that quick is probably I'll a chance that you would pass it to him.  The second thing is he may have oral herpes which is also providing him with some antibodies which will lessen the risk.   At the end of the day regardless of the language barrier you did tell him and I'm sure he would have found information in his own language regarding herpes so I don't think you should feel as bad as you do.  And also he chose not to use a condom.  But remember that you should also think about your own safety when you have sex with somebody else because how do you know what he may be carrying.   I don't think you should beat yourself up and unless he has symptoms a blood test will not show up until after 12 weeks from the time you had sex

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16 minutes ago, Lisajd said:

Thank you for your comment. I agree, there were mistakes made on both parts/ the underlying circumstances are complicated/ and I definitely should be concerned about my well-being as well... but I guess the difference is that I know the full extent of herpes and he was a bit oblivious. I don't know how I will react if I do find out he is positive for it. 

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