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Talking to my bf about ghsv2... Advice wanted

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So recently I took a trip to the doctor to treat my horrible bv. Also months after telling my bf for the second time I tested positive for herpes 2.( Previously I've been positive then equivocal and back to positive). Well anyway Saturday after we had unprotected sex as we always have, he asked me did I take another test. I explained to him I didn't but I did speak with a new doctor she wasn't sold on me having herpes and thought I was being "too worried," recommended i see a dermatologist. Well he then continues to say if i really have it, he just wants to know. He said he didn't care but I'm not sure in what context he meant that cos he just said it out if nowhere. He even corrected himself after saying how having it was embarrassing but I guess he thought about how that made me feel then said it wasn't embarrassing it was just a lot. I told him I really didn't know i don't understand all what's happening being told different things but I think we should assume I do and hence the positive result and I wanted to start using protection( which I've told him before). Since then we've yet to wear a condom. I asked him if he had been experiencing symptoms because before when I've brought this up he'd get extremely irate and start saying some pretty fucked up shit -which I understood- but now he seemed to have a softer spot like he wanted to understand. He doesn't have any sores or anything but he has been complaining about his nose being stuffy and congestion which I believe are just allergies since he works outdoors. He was tested a month ago and remains negative. Once we ended the conversation he goes "well I just want you to tell me what's going on because I don't want to hear anything in the end when you get mad about something". I asked him what did he mean, like I would yell out in a argument "that's why I have herpes!" because I could have done that years ago since we've been dating. I want to bring the conversation up with him again but he made it clear he didn't want to discuss this anymore, but I don't understand if he's not having any symptoms why does he keep asking me about something we've discussed. I don't believe he's gonna leave me I mean when I first told him he flipped out but he never left me he even kept having sex with me unprotected even when I told him we shouldn't. I'm just so confused about what I should do. I've been backing away from sex with him because I sense that he's worried but he's in a hard place. He obviously loves me to deal with this but I know he doesn't want to have to really deal with this. I've read the statistics and how he's more likely to get me pregnant than I am to give him herpes. Which I assume is try since he's negative and I just gave birth January and now I'm pregnant again (haven't told him yet). I don't want to make him angry but I do think we may need to have another conversation about this. I told him I was making another doctors appointment and i would have the doctor speak with him about herpes and all my results if that'll ease him, but he's declined. What do y'all thibk? Am I handling this appropriately? How do I bring this conversation up again? I hate having this responsibility, this shit is so hard to talk about. I'm constantly worried about his health about our babies health. Any conversation would be much appreciated right now.


background: *Had a hookup with cousins bff used protection.. *Didn't pee or bath had to be up for work early.. *Woke up late about 6 am vagina felt like I had discharge gushing out. Got home looked in mirror vagina looked cloudy. Gooogled some home rememides used tea tree oil drunk buttermilk before ultimately using Monistat... Woke up to piss burned like a mfer. * Diagnosed visually the next day... Initially test showed bv got tested again a year later had a low positive result treated with rocephin shot and doxycycline. *After receiving positive result I attempted to kill myself ex bf found me unresponsive took me to hospital, thrown onto psych floor once I was released from the icu. * at that time I had lesions on me which I noticed literally shriveled up and disappear. The dead skin from the lesions literally feel off. I assumed the meds worked and it must have been something else * tested months later after being released from psych ward and had a equivocal result doctor assured me if I tested again id be negative. *well my dumbass slept with the guy who started all this itchiness in my jungle and once again I had lesions on me (this would be a new year) *tested positive again January 17'

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26 minutes ago, Felina88 said:

Have you seen your boyfriend's results?


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You need to ascertain 100% whether you have hsv or not. If you get lesions get them swabbed. Maybe you just need to be frank with your bf and tell him hes giving you mixed messages

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5 minutes ago, Lisajd said:

You need to ascertain 100% whether you have hsv or not. If you get lesions get them swabbed. Maybe you just need to be frank with your bf and tell him hes giving you mixed messages

Yea that sounds better than the approach I had. I still haven't told him I'm pregnant again and I didn't want to ruin the conversation with herpes talk again. He has a bad temper so maybe telling him I'm pregnant first will ease the tension if any. 

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Yea if you aren't sure what you have, then at the very least use protection to reduce the risk (or maybe even abstain for now?), to protect your bf.  Some guys tend to not think with their brain, but their head down there instead.  I've read some stories where they don't use protection, even when fully aware of the positive diagnosis of his partner, then freaks out when he feels sensations down there.

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11 minutes ago, 1aday said:

Yea if you aren't sure what you have, then at the very least use protection to reduce the risk (or maybe even abstain for now?), to protect your bf.  Some guys tend to not think with their brain, but their head down there instead.  I've read some stories where they don't use protection, even when fully aware of the positive diagnosis of his partner, then freaks out when he feels sensations down there.

And that's what I'm afraid of. I felt like he was trying to trick me or something like set me up. "Its okay if you do," and if I say well yes I do (even though I've told him I've had positive test) then boom here comes his scary side. He's making it seem like it'll be okay but won't put on the condom. I've asked him if you're uncomfortable lets wear a condom or just agree to raise our baby and that's all. 

Edited by Plsneedhelp

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Well after finding out the guy who have me herpes know he had it, I told my bf and he left me. Thanks guys 

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Sounds like he wasnt a good guy anyway.  You will be ok

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