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    • Just a human being
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      @Laguna I will try to look into it tonight but I am skeptical about that NO image/ not much info LinkedIn account. @Just a human being  It would be good if u elaborate on 5CC, Nevertheless I will check on it as well.
    • Just a human being
      Few leaders in the community wants to speak to anyone else about it, few leaders in the community wants to have constructive adult discussions, people block, ostracise, fail to critically think, actively prevent support or constructive dialogue, censor, ban, flame, doxx, humiliate, harass actively refuse to allow it, actively work to prevent it...yet so many people in the actual community want to talk about it, want the truth! Our society is insane, deeply conditioned and divided. I have to say I am developing a deep respect for the H/C forum as the only place one human beings voice is heard. We actively prevent the very healing we all need. 
    • Just a human being
      People say they want a cure but some days I wonder. If you express how stressful it’s been to support a small cohort through treatment with limited evidence most do not understand, when you ask for support or your struggles to cope with people’s trauma in treatment, or the ingrained societal perceptions, when you try to talk about the evidence it’s like you’ve done some evil thing! Apparently going against the grain to do what’s right is not worthy of human understanding or support! Expressing human vulnerability also appears to be incredibly evil! Damn! Any weakness or difficulties damn your just not worthy of care, support or respect!  After over a year in the space it’s so clear to me why there has been no progress. You are completely ostracized from the community for speaking out on this topic. How many are voiceless here too scared to speak? Yet we rarely hear from you. When you are successful you just disappear (Of course because we don’t hear from you you don’t exist! You must be a “conspiracy theory”. And even if you did then you would just be anecdotal and oh yeah that publishing evidence when they attempt to discredit it... hmm be interesting to hear the “conspiracy” stories on that one...)and I understand why as no one would listen to you anyhow! I hope for anyone reading this you get out alive lest you become a lost soul in purgatory stamping out hope for others due to confusion weaved in science and medicine.   
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MikeNYC

OHSV1 Only, What are your disclosure policy and experiences ?

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MikeNYC

Hello,

This is my first post here.  Hello forum!  It’s great to have a place where we can discuss all this stuff.

I don’t want to start another thread about what people should or should not do.  The forum has had this debate already.  I want to know about people’s actual policies for disclosing OHSV1, and what have their experiences been like?  Let’s keep it factual.

When and if you disclose (Before Kiss, Before Oral), how do you do it, and what reactions do you get?  How far do you go explaining this? (Part of the problem is that a lot of people are not well informed, so your would-be make out session has the potential to turn into a science lesson).

Thanks 

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Disc0rdant
1 hour ago, MikeNYC said:

Hello,

This is my first post here.  Hello forum!  It’s great to have a place where we can discuss all this stuff.

I don’t want to start another thread about what people should or should not do.  The forum has had this debate already.  I want to know about people’s actual policies for disclosing OHSV1, and what have their experiences been like?  Let’s keep it factual.

When and if you disclose (Before Kiss, Before Oral), how do you do it, and what reactions do you get?  How far do you go explaining this? (Part of the problem is that a lot of people are not well informed, so your would-be make out session has the potential to turn into a science lesson).

Thanks 

I dont disclose prior to kissing.  Some may admonish me for that.  My ob's are normally 2 yrs apart and happen in the summer with too much sun/beer and sugary foods(like watermelon last summer)  I always disclose prior to sex because I love to please orally and feel I need to disclose.  I had no issues with any disclosures.  It seemed to build both trust and respect.  I basically say I get cold sores on my mouth, know the triggers and explain in detail what I will do to protect her.  I have a scrip for generic valtrex (never filled) if she wants me to take it.  I also only have ohsv1.  But.  It can be dangerous to her woman parts and I dont want to spread.  I have not spread it to anyone as of yet.  I think my diet, exercise and knowledge of my body mitigates quite well.

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MikeNYC

@Discordant I am curious about a few things, 

what kind of things do you explain you will do to protect her? (Since you say you haven't filled your valtrex)

Since you kiss without disclosing, and then disclose before sex, have you ever has anyone say something like "Hey how could you not tell me and kiss me!".  I know you said you have no issues with disclosures, but I find that amazing! (and encouraging). 

Do you find yourself doing a lot of explaining (Ie, cold sores are Herpes, it can be spread from oral to genital, etc) or are people in the know?

 

As someone who has been on here a while, do you think my topic was a poor question, or are there just not a lot of OHSV-1 only people on here?

I found it interesting, searching Positive Singles in NY for females 28-38, I found very few women on there that were only OHSV-1 positive as well. 

Thanks for sharing your experience it helped put me at ease a bit - 

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Disc0rdant
9 hours ago, MikeNYC said:

@Discordant I am curious about a few things, 

what kind of things do you explain you will do to protect her? (Since you say you haven't filled your valtrex)

Since you kiss without disclosing, and then disclose before sex, have you ever has anyone say something like "Hey how could you not tell me and kiss me!".  I know you said you have no issues with disclosures, but I find that amazing! (and encouraging). 

Do you find yourself doing a lot of explaining (Ie, cold sores are Herpes, it can be spread from oral to genital, etc) or are people in the know?

 

As someone who has been on here a while, do you think my topic was a poor question, or are there just not a lot of OHSV-1 only people on here?

I found it interesting, searching Positive Singles in NY for females 28-38, I found very few women on there that were only OHSV-1 positive as well. 

Thanks for sharing your experience it helped put me at ease a bit - 

No.  I have not gotten any anger.  I think it is because statistically, if she kisses 5 guys, 4 have ohsv1.  It isnt inappropriate to disclose but they inherently know that lots of kissing happens w/o sex.  Never had a bad reaction.  I havent passed it that I know of, either.  I am very in tune w my body.  I know 3 days ahead if an ob is happening.  My ob's can be 3 wks.  Last discordant gf, we didnt kiss for 3 weeks one time....  I dont have every answer, though....

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Disc0rdant
9 hours ago, MikeNYC said:

@Discordant I am curious about a few things, 

what kind of things do you explain you will do to protect her? (Since you say you haven't filled your valtrex)

Since you kiss without disclosing, and then disclose before sex, have you ever has anyone say something like "Hey how could you not tell me and kiss me!".  I know you said you have no issues with disclosures, but I find that amazing! (and encouraging). 

Do you find yourself doing a lot of explaining (Ie, cold sores are Herpes, it can be spread from oral to genital, etc) or are people in the know?

 

As someone who has been on here a while, do you think my topic was a poor question, or are there just not a lot of OHSV-1 only people on here?

I found it interesting, searching Positive Singles in NY for females 28-38, I found very few women on there that were only OHSV-1 positive as well. 

Thanks for sharing your experience it helped put me at ease a bit - 

I tell her that I am willing to fill the valtrex if a concern, I ask permission to perform oral and I literally get a tingle before an ob...  I cant promise 100%.  I promise to do my best out of care and respect.

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Disc0rdant

I dont think it is a poor topic at all.  There is risk to ohsv1...  I cant imagine it on my man parts.....

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Lisajd

I know you don't want to start a thread about what a person should or shouldn't do but if I were in the same situation which I'm not because knowing what I know now about how herpes can affect people and some people can have severe oral outbreaks I would personally tell them if it we're me before kissing.   

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Newtothisandscared

I am not judging either, but i got Ghsv1 from my boyfriend who gets infrequent cold sores because herpes does shed asymptomatically.....I think it is always good to know, so one can take a calculated risk....

Edited by Newtothisandscared

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