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MikeNYC

OHSV1 Only, What are your disclosure policy and experiences ?

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MikeNYC

Hello,

This is my first post here.  Hello forum!  It’s great to have a place where we can discuss all this stuff.

I don’t want to start another thread about what people should or should not do.  The forum has had this debate already.  I want to know about people’s actual policies for disclosing OHSV1, and what have their experiences been like?  Let’s keep it factual.

When and if you disclose (Before Kiss, Before Oral), how do you do it, and what reactions do you get?  How far do you go explaining this? (Part of the problem is that a lot of people are not well informed, so your would-be make out session has the potential to turn into a science lesson).

Thanks 

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Disc0rdant
1 hour ago, MikeNYC said:

Hello,

This is my first post here.  Hello forum!  It’s great to have a place where we can discuss all this stuff.

I don’t want to start another thread about what people should or should not do.  The forum has had this debate already.  I want to know about people’s actual policies for disclosing OHSV1, and what have their experiences been like?  Let’s keep it factual.

When and if you disclose (Before Kiss, Before Oral), how do you do it, and what reactions do you get?  How far do you go explaining this? (Part of the problem is that a lot of people are not well informed, so your would-be make out session has the potential to turn into a science lesson).

Thanks 

I dont disclose prior to kissing.  Some may admonish me for that.  My ob's are normally 2 yrs apart and happen in the summer with too much sun/beer and sugary foods(like watermelon last summer)  I always disclose prior to sex because I love to please orally and feel I need to disclose.  I had no issues with any disclosures.  It seemed to build both trust and respect.  I basically say I get cold sores on my mouth, know the triggers and explain in detail what I will do to protect her.  I have a scrip for generic valtrex (never filled) if she wants me to take it.  I also only have ohsv1.  But.  It can be dangerous to her woman parts and I dont want to spread.  I have not spread it to anyone as of yet.  I think my diet, exercise and knowledge of my body mitigates quite well.

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MikeNYC

@Discordant I am curious about a few things, 

what kind of things do you explain you will do to protect her? (Since you say you haven't filled your valtrex)

Since you kiss without disclosing, and then disclose before sex, have you ever has anyone say something like "Hey how could you not tell me and kiss me!".  I know you said you have no issues with disclosures, but I find that amazing! (and encouraging). 

Do you find yourself doing a lot of explaining (Ie, cold sores are Herpes, it can be spread from oral to genital, etc) or are people in the know?

 

As someone who has been on here a while, do you think my topic was a poor question, or are there just not a lot of OHSV-1 only people on here?

I found it interesting, searching Positive Singles in NY for females 28-38, I found very few women on there that were only OHSV-1 positive as well. 

Thanks for sharing your experience it helped put me at ease a bit - 

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Disc0rdant
9 hours ago, MikeNYC said:

@Discordant I am curious about a few things, 

what kind of things do you explain you will do to protect her? (Since you say you haven't filled your valtrex)

Since you kiss without disclosing, and then disclose before sex, have you ever has anyone say something like "Hey how could you not tell me and kiss me!".  I know you said you have no issues with disclosures, but I find that amazing! (and encouraging). 

Do you find yourself doing a lot of explaining (Ie, cold sores are Herpes, it can be spread from oral to genital, etc) or are people in the know?

 

As someone who has been on here a while, do you think my topic was a poor question, or are there just not a lot of OHSV-1 only people on here?

I found it interesting, searching Positive Singles in NY for females 28-38, I found very few women on there that were only OHSV-1 positive as well. 

Thanks for sharing your experience it helped put me at ease a bit - 

No.  I have not gotten any anger.  I think it is because statistically, if she kisses 5 guys, 4 have ohsv1.  It isnt inappropriate to disclose but they inherently know that lots of kissing happens w/o sex.  Never had a bad reaction.  I havent passed it that I know of, either.  I am very in tune w my body.  I know 3 days ahead if an ob is happening.  My ob's can be 3 wks.  Last discordant gf, we didnt kiss for 3 weeks one time....  I dont have every answer, though....

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Disc0rdant
9 hours ago, MikeNYC said:

@Discordant I am curious about a few things, 

what kind of things do you explain you will do to protect her? (Since you say you haven't filled your valtrex)

Since you kiss without disclosing, and then disclose before sex, have you ever has anyone say something like "Hey how could you not tell me and kiss me!".  I know you said you have no issues with disclosures, but I find that amazing! (and encouraging). 

Do you find yourself doing a lot of explaining (Ie, cold sores are Herpes, it can be spread from oral to genital, etc) or are people in the know?

 

As someone who has been on here a while, do you think my topic was a poor question, or are there just not a lot of OHSV-1 only people on here?

I found it interesting, searching Positive Singles in NY for females 28-38, I found very few women on there that were only OHSV-1 positive as well. 

Thanks for sharing your experience it helped put me at ease a bit - 

I tell her that I am willing to fill the valtrex if a concern, I ask permission to perform oral and I literally get a tingle before an ob...  I cant promise 100%.  I promise to do my best out of care and respect.

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Disc0rdant

I dont think it is a poor topic at all.  There is risk to ohsv1...  I cant imagine it on my man parts.....

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Lisajd

I know you don't want to start a thread about what a person should or shouldn't do but if I were in the same situation which I'm not because knowing what I know now about how herpes can affect people and some people can have severe oral outbreaks I would personally tell them if it we're me before kissing.   

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Newtothisandscared

I am not judging either, but i got Ghsv1 from my boyfriend who gets infrequent cold sores because herpes does shed asymptomatically.....I think it is always good to know, so one can take a calculated risk....

Edited by Newtothisandscared

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