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ScaredBean

Help me... I'm scared...

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ScaredBean

Hi there... I'm Nikki. I'm 19 and I live in New Jersey, USA. I've been with my boyfriend (main partner, J) for about six months now. We're in an open relationship. I was dating someone for a few weeks before breaking it off. The last time I had sex with that guy was about a month ago.

Around a week ago I started experiencing intense itching, which I chalked up to a yeast infection (which I've had before) and didn't worry too much. But I was scratching a lot. And my nails are sharp. Also, J and I had really rough sex around that time. Not long after I started experiencing pain/discomfort, which I again blew off as a consequence of scratching myself and having rough sex.

But yesterday the pain was unbearable and there was a lot of swelling. We went to the emergency room to find out I have a UTI as well as Herpes. Whether it's 1 or 2 I'm not sure, and I don't really know the difference. J got tested about two weeks ago and tested positive for Herpes 1. But he said he's had cold sores on his lips all his life.

Is it possible I got Herpes 1 from him performing oral on me? Or was it from the guy I dated a few weeks and he just didn't show symptoms? (I don't remember him having sores or redness of any kind.)

Regardless, I'm really scared and ashamed and confused by this event. I've been in unbearable pain for the past 72 hours. I can't walk or even lie down in certain positions because the friction against my clothes (and even my own skin) is agonizing. I have sores all over my genital area; specifically, there are around eight sores on my clitoris alone.

Nothing I've been told to try helps. Vagisil, diaper rash cream, antibiotic ointment, even the medicine the hospital gave me. I also get fevers and sore lymph nodes.

Please, please, someone out there... Help me... I'm sooo terrified and embarrassed. I hate myself for letting this happen. I blame myself for ruining my life as well as my wonderful boyfriend's life. Our lifestyle has to completely change, (possibly) because of a stupid mistake I made. 

I don't know why I'm here, I just... I need to know I'm not alone. I need advice. Please.

Thank you in advance...

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ScrabbleChallenge

You are NOT alone. I'm in Illinois. I was diagnosed Thursday on my 50th birthday. We will get through this together! 

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Grey0214

Hey girl, you're definitely not alone. I'm 17, from Iowa and was just diagnosed Friday with HSV2. It was a complete shock to me as I've never had any symptoms before, and have been with my boyfriend for 4 months. You can always PM me if you ever need to talk!:)

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GlitterDx

Can you go to a planned parenthood tomorrow? You may need to be on an antiviral. If it is heroes you don't want to put some of those things on there, it may make things worse. Go to a drug store and get tea tree oil. That will help with itching until you get to a doctor. 

 

Whatever the matter... you will be ok. 

Edited by GlitterDx

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cowpoke02
2 hours ago, ScaredBean said:

Hi there... I'm Nikki. I'm 19 and I live in New Jersey, USA. I've been with my boyfriend (main partner, J) for about six months now. We're in an open relationship. I was dating someone for a few weeks before breaking it off. The last time I had sex with that guy was about a month ago.

Around a week ago I started experiencing intense itching, which I chalked up to a yeast infection (which I've had before) and didn't worry too much. But I was scratching a lot. And my nails are sharp. Also, J and I had really rough sex around that time. Not long after I started experiencing pain/discomfort, which I again blew off as a consequence of scratching myself and having rough sex.

But yesterday the pain was unbearable and there was a lot of swelling. We went to the emergency room to find out I have a UTI as well as Herpes. Whether it's 1 or 2 I'm not sure, and I don't really know the difference. J got tested about two weeks ago and tested positive for Herpes 1. But he said he's had cold sores on his lips all his life.

Is it possible I got Herpes 1 from him performing oral on me? Or was it from the guy I dated a few weeks and he just didn't show symptoms? (I don't remember him having sores or redness of any kind.)

Regardless, I'm really scared and ashamed and confused by this event. I've been in unbearable pain for the past 72 hours. I can't walk or even lie down in certain positions because the friction against my clothes (and even my own skin) is agonizing. I have sores all over my genital area; specifically, there are around eight sores on my clitoris alone.

Nothing I've been told to try helps. Vagisil, diaper rash cream, antibiotic ointment, even the medicine the hospital gave me. I also get fevers and sore lymph nodes.

Please, please, someone out there... Help me... I'm sooo terrified and embarrassed. I hate myself for letting this happen. I blame myself for ruining my life as well as my wonderful boyfriend's life. Our lifestyle has to completely change, (possibly) because of a stupid mistake I made. 

I don't know why I'm here, I just... I need to know I'm not alone. I need advice. Please.

Thank you in advance...

all good . multiple partners game the is how it ends unless lucky or careful . no worries .. fallow links . mine . haha ..  i got inside out system .  cheap see how it does on newbies ..  all good for ya too  .. actually fights it and win most the time  , some times it a bugger .. keep your same attitude that got you into this mess .. 

  be proud its all over . probably get it anywhere . special with some crazyy people probably swear it places . haha ..  cheer up you p;played roulette and lost . shocker . haha .. secret world out there and people are crazy .. hook up is dangerous .  take action , eat better . some people are blessed with genetics resist disease .. also you could hardly ever have troubles after this if lucky ..  working on most meds and future problems for your generation not mine . so feel blessed . even working in ears now but for ear bud generation .  probably suppress it naturally  .. good luck .. 

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cowpoke02

first one or two are the worst .  virgin nerves getting smashed ..   like the flu ..gets worse before it gets better . put some dynamiclear on it or nz med honey .. 

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HarryAUS

Hi Nikki (@ScaredBean)

Welcome to the forum! I've posted a version of this before but hopefully it might help!

I completely understand how you feel (I think all of us on here do!). It's incredibly confronting and scary when you are first diagnosed. The good news is that it really does get MUCH easier to handle over time. The first 12 months are by far the worst but once your immune system adjusts most people have much fewer and less severe outbreaks. Many people only ever have one outbreak.

It's a good idea to go back to the doctor and get some swaps done to determine what type of HSV you have (i.e 1 or 2). Yes it is possible (and quite common) to contract genital HSV1 from oral sex (i.e your partner transmits HSV1 from his lips to your genitals).

Although it can certainly feel that way, the reality is you are definitely NOT alone: the overwhelming majority of people have HSV. Around 90% of the world's population has one or both strains of the virus. This means that if you DON'T have HSV, you are in the vast MINORITY! There's a very good chance that anybody you chose to disclose to will say 'yeah me too'!

The article below put this into perspective for me. It made me realize that I had just joined a much bigger club than I was previously in AFTER my diagnosis.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/speaking-of-science/wp/2015/11/02/you-probably-have-herpes-but-thats-really-okay/?utm_term=.ecb5d2e09bae

I'm sure it doesn't feel that way right now but for most an HSV diagnosis is not a huge deal in the longer term. You just learn to adjust and live with it (like 90% of the world's population!).

Try to stay strong and positive. Don't be so hard on yourself. You can and will learn to live with this. And feel free to get in touch if you're struggling!

Edited by HarryAUS

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Miha

Hey Nikki!

Im 25, gay, and was virgin until 24 and only had sex a few times in my life (i can count with one hand).

And bam! I found out about my herpes(the one under my pants yeah) a few days ago, i know it can be very hard thing to deal with, i cried a lot yesterday. Today i took a day off from my work and went for a stroll around the city. Been thinking a lot today and you know what, I will not let this fecken tiny microscopic parasite destroy my life. Nothing can kill me that easily, as long as its not Zombie Virus! ;), We are living beings, and we are not perfect. We always have to fight and stay strong to keep going. You will be just fine! Keep on exploring the world, eat healthy, exercise. Keep improving working on your self. You are only 19,  so young and will grow up beautiful!

 There is nothing you should be ashamed off. It is not your fault, it can happen to anybody, especially nowadays in our overpopulated world. Viruses and bacteria can infect anybody, there are no friends nor foes to those parasites.  People get sick, people die from infections and its normal. You shouldn't be ashamed just because its an STD.  People need to have sex, that"s normal, its only a natural need, just like how people need to eat.  We are not angels, nor saints, we are only humans.

You know what, especially in case of such contagious thing as herpes, if they don't find a cure soon enough it will keep crawling on everyone until no one is left uninfected. Im 100% sure we will live up to that day when they develop a way to eradicate this plague. World is evolving rapidly.  20 Years ago internet was a luxury, 10 years ago we didn't have i Phones, now we start to grow organs and even teeth, nanotechnology and bio-engineering etc and etc developing. They even going to send people to Mars in 2030!!!

Don't let it bring you down, be strong, you don't have to prove anything to anybody, you only need to prove yourself that no matter what you can live happily.

PM me if you want, i am also new to this and newly diagnosed, we could go trough this together.

*Hug*Hug*Hug Sending you waves of positivity <3

 

P.S. Try to watch this lady: 

 

Edited by Miha

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ScaredBean

Thank you, everyone. Your quick-to-help nature is much appreciated. I feel less vulnerable now. Hopefully my outbreak passes quickly. This may sound strange but my tailbone is actually the worst source of pain throughout all this. It feels so sore. Doc said it might be because of my posture (the way I have to sit to avoid putting pressure on the sores). 

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Whyyyyy
35 minutes ago, ScaredBean said:

Thank you, everyone. Your quick-to-help nature is much appreciated. I feel less vulnerable now. Hopefully my outbreak passes quickly. This may sound strange but my tailbone is actually the worst source of pain throughout all this. It feels so sore. Doc said it might be because of my posture (the way I have to sit to avoid putting pressure on the sores). 

That's actually where the virus resides...that's my only noticeable symptom, achy tailbone...almost like it's burning!

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glen2017

Dont fret girl, i got into this mess too around 6 months back. it was like i had a ride to hell and back. I wont get into how i got the infection, we pretty much get it the same way. I had deadly sores all over my groin and they itched and pained crazy and yes those awful meds the pharmacist gave me sucked, didnt help me one bit. The worst part was i had 2 bck to back breakouts and i was liteally freaking out. But yea my boyfriend came to my resuce, the poor guy kinda feels guilty. He made me speak to a Doctor -an ayuvedic specialist and this doc was very reassuring, he heard me rant and explained the following very simply. All i need to do to get the virus out of my system is to boost my immunity, which i agreed had gone down. He advised i take hyperisince, it had a lot of natural ingredients and thev've tested the herbs against the virus, apparently the company has applied for a patent too.Anyways, Ive been taking it for 4 months now along with some other remedies since i was a bad case from the beginning.Trust me, im feeling so much stronger. Guess my immunity has kicked in, my sores all gone and my skin there is looking healed too. Im positive, this will work, ofcourse im going to be careful in the futre now.my suggestion give it a try.

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macjussey

Dont fret girl, i got into this mess too around 6 months back. it was like i had a ride to hell and back. I wont get into how i got the infection, we pretty much get it the same way. I had deadly sores all over my groin and they itched and pained crazy and yes those awful meds the pharmacist gave me sucked, didnt help me one bit. The worst part was i had 2 bck to back breakouts and i was liteally freaking out. But yea my boyfriend came to my resuce, the poor guy kinda feels guilty. He made me speak to a Doctor -an ayuvedic specialist and this doc was very reassuring, he heard me rant and explained the following very simply. All i need to do to get the virus out of my system is to boost my immunity, which i agreed had gone down. He advised i take hyperisince, it had a lot of natural ingredients and thev've tested the herbs against the virus, apparently the company has applied for a patent too.Anyways, Ive been taking it for 4 months now along with some other remedies since i was a bad case from the beginning.Trust me, im feeling so much stronger. Guess my immunity has kicked in, my sores all gone and my skin there is looking healed too. Im positive, this will work, ofcourse im going to be careful in the futre now.my suggestion give it a try.

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YoungSoul

Hey girl! You're definitely not alone!

I'm 20 and caught it when I was on an overseas holiday. The guy I was with is waiting on his test results to come back but we're thinking I caught HSV2 from him having HSV1 and giving oral, I've done the research and definitely possible your boyfriend has passed it on to you this way.

As for the pain, I was on medication for 5 days and (this was a bit over 2 weeks ago) and I am totally back to normal and feeling like myself now.

But there's no reason for your life to make dramatic changes! Of course you'll have to be careful and disclose to your partner (also use a condom and antivirals are suggested), but don't be upset that life will be totally different now.

So, yes the pain will go! Some people also don't experience recurrent outbreaks after they're primary one. Secondly, don't feel like you're whole world has collapsed - it's just changed a little, and not a change that you can't work around!

Goodluck!

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