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changesHappen

Advice Needed

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changesHappen

Hello there,

I'm new here and new to HSV-2. I am currently getting over what seemed to be a 2-month primary outbreak. I am a student and am in a relationship of one year. My outbreak was incredibly severe and I still have pain etc down below but no sores. I still have a year left of university and this last quarter was insane due to the debilitation of the outbreak. Somehow made it through. I am here to ask advice concerning my relationship. After being together for about a year, I had a week of heavy drinking (too many birthdays) my immune system wasn't it's strongest. I woke up next to my gf one morning and noticed the sores. Of course we had both been tested, or so we thought and once the diagnosis came though it was assumed to be an accident. Understandable since we had both been tested. Then she tells me that before me she had dated someone with HSV-2. I was calm, because she had been tested. Next thing I find out is that she was actually never tested at all, even after knowing that she was exposed and in a relationship with this person. Whether or not she actually got it from him in my mind is here nor there because it was a couple years before we had gotten together. My problem is that she had never tested, never told her dr that she was exposed and now I have this for the rest of my life. Even by the time I could get her in to be tested I was still showing negative. Then she came back +. Awesome. She has had health issues and I was always there to support her when she was feeling down..... but this was all part of it. Before me she had meningitis which spurred crohn's. Which all happened after being exposed. I feel lied to by omission. I am mostly over the depression but I cannot get over the negligence my partner has demonstrated. Our only real problems (or mine) were over her carelessness, but because I felt it was an issue we could work on, I stayed. I had to take space and get through the rest of the quarter and that was helpful. Unfortunately I now only feel resentment and total violation of my body and trust. I got hit so hard by this thing that I can barely stand my day to day experiences and am just waiting to get hit by the next OB. I'm not sure exactly what I'm asking, but I'd love any feedback on this situation.  

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LucyLevi

Hello there changes

I am sorry to hear of your situation  and hope that you find support here from people who have a wide range of varied experiences.

It may help to say how you were diagnosed too (swab or blood test and is it definitely HSV2?)

 Do you want me to delete your other post as it suggests that you don't want it to show anymore? Let me know as happy to do so or you could use the hide function.

Take care and welcome to a group of lovely new people you can share your experiences with!

Lucy

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Whyyyyy

So sorry you're going through this! It's a difficult situation to navigate...let me ask you this, what are you doing to boost your immune system? I'm not a doctor but I'd recommend looking into l-lysine, vitamin D, selenium and avoiding foods high in l-arginine! 

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changesHappen

Hello - Thank you for your responses. @LucyLeviif you could get rid of the other post it'd be great. Trying to get the hang of the navigation here. @Whyyyyy I'm taking Lysine and vitamins everyday. Not sure why the symptoms are lasting so long. I've heard from friends in similar boats that the sick/bed ridden thing shouldn't really happen again. I have HSV-1 and have a minor coldsore once a year so I know what that's like. This I just can't wrap my head around. On top of all of it the stress of school and the relationship isn't really helping. I'm considering daily suppression if this doesn't let up. My swab came back negative but I wasn't able to get in until after the sores mostly healed. My last HSV-2 igg test came back equivocal. I've had 3 blood tests since the outbreak and the number just kept rising so I'm assuming that I'm + by now. My first test was way neg. Second was .9 and third .97. Obviously I had been tested before the relationship and was neg.

Edited by changesHappen

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Whyyyyy
1 hour ago, changesHappen said:

Hello - Thank you for your responses. @LucyLeviif you could get rid of the other post it'd be great. Trying to get the hang of the navigation here. @Whyyyyy I'm taking Lysine and vitamins everyday. Not sure why the symptoms are lasting so long. I've heard from friends in similar boats that the sick/bed ridden thing shouldn't really happen again. I have HSV-1 and have a minor coldsore once a year so I know what that's like. This I just can't wrap my head around. On top of all of it the stress of school and the relationship isn't really helping. I'm considering daily suppression if this doesn't let up. My swab came back negative but I wasn't able to get in until after the sores mostly healed. My last HSV-2 igg test came back equivocal. I've had 3 blood tests since the outbreak and the number just kept rising so I'm assuming that I'm + by now. My first test was way neg. Second was .9 and third .97. Obviously I had been tested before the relationship and was neg.

I see! It's hard for sure; I have my good days and my bad days (diagnosed in March)...hang in there, good thing is we're young and there are a lot of promising medications and vaccines being worked on! 

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Lisajd

That is always a tough one but did she actually say to you that her doctor would not test her because some doctors will not test you regardless because if you have no blisters.   What I think is really important is to focus on what is a priority in your life right now and being young and a student I think you should be thinking about weather at the relationship is worth it at this point in time because you have many years ahead of you to establish a decent relationship with someone who is honest and considering your overall well-being

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Disc0rdant
2 hours ago, changesHappen said:

Hello - Thank you for your responses. @LucyLeviif you could get rid of the other post it'd be great. Trying to get the hang of the navigation here. @Whyyyyy I'm taking Lysine and vitamins everyday. Not sure why the symptoms are lasting so long. I've heard from friends in similar boats that the sick/bed ridden thing shouldn't really happen again. I have HSV-1 and have a minor coldsore once a year so I know what that's like. This I just can't wrap my head around. On top of all of it the stress of school and the relationship isn't really helping. I'm considering daily suppression if this doesn't let up. My swab came back negative but I wasn't able to get in until after the sores mostly healed. My last HSV-2 igg test came back equivocal. I've had 3 blood tests since the outbreak and the number just kept rising so I'm assuming that I'm + by now. My first test was way neg. Second was .9 and third .97. Obviously I had been tested before the relationship and was neg.

.97 is still quite low.  Can be false positive.  I have heard of false positives especially doing goofy stuff like drinking distilled water.   I tested equivocal once right in the midst of divorce due to something dietary(I think)  Eating tons of high acid fruits, veggies, distilled.  Tested negative 2 wks later..... I would be very careful sex wise and retest in 2 mos.  Just what I would do.  Every test since drinking reg bottled water is negative.   

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changesHappen

Hey there @Lisajd, She said that she asked for "all the blood tests" but did not acknowledge the fact that she was exposed. So, as they do, didn't test for it. Didn't ask and didn't get the info she needed. I have always gone in and asked specifically because I want to know everything. If I knew I was exposed I would ask for that test. That is my struggle here. I understand that you need to ask and that doctors can be apprehensive..... but I feel like they would have done it knowing she was exposed. I've gotten tested even when there was no for sure exposure. It's really just frustrating. Thanks for all of your responses. 

Edited by changesHappen

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changesHappen

@Disc0rdant, Thank you. True, it could be, but why would I have an outbreak and be so sick? It's beyond me. I will be going back in to test again. I just see no hope after how gnarly this has been.

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Disc0rdant
Just now, changesHappen said:

@Disc0rdant, Thank you. True, it could be, but why would I have an outbreak and be so sick? It's beyond me. I will be going back in to test again. I just see no hope after how gnarly this has been.

Lots of things can be confused w herpes.  2 mo fungal ob is more likely than hsv primary.  Not impossible.  Yeast/fungus can present like hsv, especially if you mess w it/itch.  I had yeast that looked exactly like hsv but it wasnt.  

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changesHappen

Also my ign tests were negative. I've gotta go back in and re-test. Not trying to be too hopeful, after being with someone for a year who showed +, but who knows. Thanks guys.

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Lisajd

An igm test shows positive if recent infection.  If your igm are showing greater than .09 then it makes since your igm is neg

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