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SheMatters

Telling my boyfriend...

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SheMatters

I'm in a long distance relationship he's currently deployed and we connected while he was away things are so great between us even though we are fairly new. I just got diagnosed with HSV2 on Wednesday I have felt so numb since that day but I knew I could let our relationship continue without me telling him...that would be unfair...so I did...he hasn't responded back yet and that was an hour ago. 

Im so nervous but I guess at this point I just want to get this anxiety feeling over with ...my heart keeps pounding so hard and I just want know whether he is willing to stick it out or walk away from me so I can know how my life will be moving forward...I know people on here have said they've had successful relationships but I'm just so scared...

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LillianPanos

Hi when do you think you were infected?  By him? Honesty is the best policy

 

3 hours ago, SheMatters said:

I'm in a long distance relationship he's currently deployed and we connected while he was away things are so great between us even though we are fairly new. I just got diagnosed with HSV2 on Wednesday I have felt so numb since that day but I knew I could let our relationship continue without me telling him...that would be unfair...so I did...he hasn't responded back yet and that was an hour ago. 

Im so nervous but I guess at this point I just want to get this anxiety feeling over with ...my heart keeps pounding so hard and I just want know whether he is willing to stick it out or walk away from me so I can know how my life will be moving forward...I know people on here have said they've had successful relationships but I'm just so scared...

 

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SheMatters

I honestly don't know...I haven't had sex in 11months OF NO SORT because I was practicing celibacy. We were friends for years and lost contact He reached out to me May 5th and we began talking and committed to each other. So we are very new but We have a very strong connection with each other. 

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Depressed16

Personally, I would have waited a bit longer before disclosing and would've done it in person. That way I could see his initial reaction and be able to talk it out. If you two are close like you said, maybe he could look pass this.

Have you heard back from him yet ?

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SheMatters

No not yet, I don't know if it's because of of his internet connection or if it is because he just has no clue what to say....I battled with telling him face to face because I didn't want to fly there just to give him this news and feelings continue to grow...I want him to know asap so he can have that choice and also so I can know and not keep worrying about are we going to be together or will he reject me...I kept reading stress is the number one no no with herpes and today was the day I finally told those that was most dearest to me (my sisters, God mom, best friend) so I won't have to keep having "the talk" with them...I know I'll have "the talk" with people in the future but as of right now just my support circle has to know ...I guess that's how I was loooking at it...lol hell I don't know im still in disbelief myself smh 

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Depressed16
44 minutes ago, SheMatters said:

No not yet, I don't know if it's because of of his internet connection or if it is because he just has no clue what to say....I battled with telling him face to face because I didn't want to fly there just to give him this news and feelings continue to grow...I want him to know asap so he can have that choice and also so I can know and not keep worrying about are we going to be together or will he reject me...I kept reading stress is the number one no no with herpes and today was the day I finally told those that was most dearest to me (my sisters, God mom, best friend) so I won't have to keep having "the talk" with them...I know I'll have "the talk" with people in the future but as of right now just my support circle has to know ...I guess that's how I was loooking at it...lol hell I don't know im still in disbelief myself smh 

Oh I understand what you mean about not wanting to fly out, especially if you don't know what his reaction will be. He probably doesn't know what to say and is in complete shock.. I hope things go great between you two.

 

 

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SheMatters

Yeah...thanks I do too. How has How has things been for you so far? Dating, sex life, how long have you had it? 

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Depressed16

@SheMatters Well so far, nothing has changed as of yet. I've had it for about a year now, but I've known since the end of January. I told my ex and he never made it a big deal. So sex was pretty much the same as usual. I've met someone new and I'm  contemplating about whether I should tell him or not. I'm honestly scared to. 

Edited by BriAmazed

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Lisajd

I think if you really like this guy you need to give him the benefit of the doubt and disclose to him you don't know his own circumstances or how he views it

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SheMatters

@BriAmazedthats completely understandable I would be too...but something this is teaching me is that we must be transparent and comfortable enough with ourselves in order to truly be able to share that with someone else. if you think you and the other guy are getting serious and are having serious conversations about the future together or talking even talking about having sex together then yes it's most certainly time to tell him. 

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