mariamunich

Muslimin with hsv-1

15 posts in this topic

Hi All :) Assalaamu Aleykum, 

Im just divorced halv an year ago and have genital herpes. My ex had cold sore and for the stupid misstake I got infected. I feel sad, but need to accept this condition. I feel a bit lonely, because In my muslim community I cannot tell this problem to anyone. Only my bestfriend knows this. It is really common that muslim sisters are asking, if I would like to get married and of course I would like to but instead I need to smile and pass the situation. I do not have children and didnt even tried to get pregnant with my ex. I feel a bit jealouse when I see other sisters are having babies and have good relationships. Instead I try to hide my feelings and disappointment. Alhamdulillah Im muslimin and I want to be positive and be greatful of health I have and I do not have symptoms. I have trust in God that somehow my situation gets better. I just need to open the gate, but I feel a bit trapped.  I would like to have supportive comments and your opinions how you deal with this problem.

Assalaamu Aleykum,

Maria

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Maria

Iy assume you have hsv1?  I would think there you can find someone who will love you.  I did. It's good thst you have a supportive friend. @mariamunich

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How badly is herpes viewed on your country.  You are not alone. I suggest you date as normal and go from there.

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13 hours ago, mariamunich said:

Hi All :) Assalaamu Aleykum, 

Im just divorced halv an year ago and have genital herpes. My ex had cold sore and for the stupid misstake I got infected. I feel sad, but need to accept this condition. I feel a bit lonely, because In my muslim community I cannot tell this problem to anyone. Only my bestfriend knows this. It is really common that muslim sisters are asking, if I would like to get married and of course I would like to but instead I need to smile and pass the situation. I do not have children and didnt even tried to get pregnant with my ex. I feel a bit jealouse when I see other sisters are having babies and have good relationships. Instead I try to hide my feelings and disappointment. Alhamdulillah Im muslimin and I want to be positive and be greatful of health I have and I do not have symptoms. I have trust in God that somehow my situation gets better. I just need to open the gate, but I feel a bit trapped.  I would like to have supportive comments and your opinions how you deal with this problem.

Assalaamu Aleykum,

Maria

HSV1 is probably in 60-80% of the Muslim population.  Date like normal and insist on testing so you dont get additional STI's.    Respect yourself and him by testing.

mariamunich and LillianPanos like this

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I'm pretty sure the situation is not about dating. In the Muslim community it's about arranged marriage and you don't get the opportunity to discuss or disclose an std. Maria i think wants to marry and have a family but can't tell her family about her situation. Every culture has its stigmas, regardless of religion. But the Muslim community in particular isn't very forgiving believe me.

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1 minute ago, useless said:

I'm pretty sure the situation is not about dating. In the Muslim community it's about arranged marriage and you don't get the opportunity to discuss or disclose an std. Maria i think wants to marry and have a family but can't tell her family about her situation. Every culture has its stigmas, regardless of religion. But the Muslim community in particular isn't very forgiving believe me.

Well.  She didnt say that.  Pre arranged marriages are not done in the states because it isnt legal.  The parties must consent.  Of course Jews, Muslims and Christians try it anyway....

Irrespective, she should insist on testing.  In my religion(that I rarely practice), divorce is not allowed and she is comitting adultery if she ever has sex!  Even if remarried.  Hilarious.  Because the Catholic church used to run whore houses.  Ahhh.  The joys of organized religion seizing control.  If you dont embrace it, you are terrible.  Cant wait to play w poisonous snakes on Sunday....

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Of course your right, but unfortunately these marriages take place and it is still difficult for women and men to say no under pressure. It's not legal in my country etheir but it's culture that is the problem not religion. You have a choice in Islam it's just people and their traditions.anyway your right she didn't say that. I believe in disclosing and I agree one should insist on testing. 

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3 hours ago, useless said:

Of course your right, but unfortunately these marriages take place and it is still difficult for women and men to say no under pressure. It's not legal in my country etheir but it's culture that is the problem not religion. You have a choice in Islam it's just people and their traditions.anyway your right she didn't say that. I believe in disclosing and I agree one should insist on testing. 

Cool.  Ok.  Gotta get back to playing with poisonous snakes.  If I live, it is "God's will"

Wish me luck!

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6 hours ago, Disc0rdant said:

HSV1 is probably in 60-80% of the Muslim population.  Date like normal and insist on testing so you dont get additional STI's.    Respect yourself and him by testing.

Thank you! I just had dates during this spring and it just didnt end quite nicely.  We met couple of times before and then I needed to say him about this issue and he was really desappointed as I would just play with him. I was crying and explained this and it was horrible. But my good friend tried to help me by explaining medical facts to me. She has been really reasonable. :)

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6 hours ago, Disc0rdant said:

Well.  She didnt say that.  Pre arranged marriages are not done in the states because it isnt legal.  The parties must consent.  Of course Jews, Muslims and Christians try it anyway....

Irrespective, she should insist on testing.  In my religion(that I rarely practice), divorce is not allowed and she is comitting adultery if she ever has sex!  Even if remarried.  Hilarious.  Because the Catholic church used to run whore houses.  Ahhh.  The joys of organized religion seizing control.  If you dont embrace it, you are terrible.  Cant wait to play w poisonous snakes on Sunday....

Well... in Islam its blessing from God to have sex with your spouse :) but its ONLY allowed in marriage. 

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6 hours ago, useless said:

I'm pretty sure the situation is not about dating. In the Muslim community it's about arranged marriage and you don't get the opportunity to discuss or disclose an std. Maria i think wants to marry and have a family but can't tell her family about her situation. Every culture has its stigmas, regardless of religion. But the Muslim community in particular isn't very forgiving believe me.

Loving and caring parents who are looking for the best to their child they really want their child to find someone who is good for him or her. Parents really are interested in with whom their child is getting married but they should not force them. Im friend with integrated muslims and normally it goes like this in Europe and States.

In every relationship it helps to be open and sincere if there is something which could harm the other party. But this issue is not the information to the whole family. 

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6 hours ago, useless said:

Of course your right, but unfortunately these marriages take place and it is still difficult for women and men to say no under pressure. It's not legal in my country etheir but it's culture that is the problem not religion. You have a choice in Islam it's just people and their traditions.anyway your right she didn't say that. I believe in disclosing and I agree one should insist on testing. 

Thank you. Its like the cultural issue, not Islam. Next time I will ask test results and see a little bit reaction and attitude. :)

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On 6/18/2017 at 0:19 PM, mariamunich said:

Hi All :) Assalaamu Aleykum, 

Im just divorced halv an year ago and have genital herpes. My ex had cold sore and for the stupid misstake I got infected. I feel sad, but need to accept this condition. I feel a bit lonely, because In my muslim community I cannot tell this problem to anyone. Only my bestfriend knows this. It is really common that muslim sisters are asking, if I would like to get married and of course I would like to but instead I need to smile and pass the situation. I do not have children and didnt even tried to get pregnant with my ex. I feel a bit jealouse when I see other sisters are having babies and have good relationships. Instead I try to hide my feelings and disappointment. Alhamdulillah Im muslimin and I want to be positive and be greatful of health I have and I do not have symptoms. I have trust in God that somehow my situation gets better. I just need to open the gate, but I feel a bit trapped.  I would like to have supportive comments and your opinions how you deal with this problem.

Assalaamu Aleykum,

Maria

Salam, 

Maria are you still looking for someone?

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On 23.6.2017 at 0:43 PM, Salah said:

Salam, 

Maria are you still looking for someone?

Wa aleikum salaam, actually yes I am. 

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On 6/19/2017 at 5:24 AM, useless said:

Of course your right, but unfortunately these marriages take place and it is still difficult for women and men to say no under pressure. It's not legal in my country etheir but it's culture that is the problem not religion. You have a choice in Islam it's just people and their traditions.anyway your right she didn't say that. I believe in disclosing and I agree one should insist on testing. 

It's bitter but sadly it's very true in India. And this not applies to Muslim but Hindu and Sikhs too come under it. Since only after marriage only we are allowed to sex and have spend rest life with one only. But herpes open the chances of cheating and doubting ones personel image.

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