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davidis

Successful disclosure

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eightyfour

Excellent man, that's a great outlook, thank you very much for sharing

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LWestCoast

thanks, that's very encouraging. I will try being less dramatic and hopefully that helps!!

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Lisajd

Thank you for sharing the whole cold sore approach and keeping it short and sweet works for a lot of people.  Often getting diagnosed with something like herpes brings people further down because an ex it is an extension of existing issues and if you do work on your own self esteem and self worth than herpes will seem like nothing can if you disclose and get rejected you actually won't be upset about it because you don't have the tools to deal with it

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Poisonflower

I know your going to say what does it matter but are you white?

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keepsmiling93

Great words. Really encouraging thank you 

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  • Similar Content

    • LemonDifficult
      By LemonDifficult
      I’ve been a frequent visitor of this site for awhile. The times when I feel down about my H+ status, I have come here to read stories of hope and happy endings, and I feel a lot better and reassured. 
      So, I finally made and account because I wanted to share my happy story! 
      I was diagnosed with GHSV2 about 5 years ago. While I’ve been with and disclosed to two partners about my status since then, they had already told me that they had been with women previously who had the same diagnosis, so I wasn’t nervous to disclose my status to them after finding that info out. 
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      Heading into our date last night, I knew that I couldn’t wait any longer to have the convo I had so been dreading. When I felt like the time was right, I finally gave my “spiel” and I was so relieved to get it out of the way, I honestly didn’t care if he rejected me at that point. I was proud of myself for doing something difficult and flexing my integrity muscle. Well, He actually got emotional, thanking me for putting his health and well-being above mine and told me this doesn’t change anything, in fact he said that me being open about my status before being intimate made him like me even more! He asked questions about how H effects me and was even curious about my experience dealing with the stigma. It went way way better than I anticipated, and we have plans to spend this upcoming weekend together! 
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    • Labscientist
      By Labscientist
      I had a fiance. He was actually the first guy I ever had to disclose to after my ghsv2 diagnosis. And he accepted me and it wasn't a big deal and we ended up not using protection and pretty much had a normal sex life except when I had my minor symptoms. But there were many times in the relationship that I knew I should have left him. But especially in the beginning I admit, I was desperate and was happy to have someone love me. Looking back, all the times he yelled at me or made me cry makes me so angry. Because I know that it was the fear of having to date again with hsv that kept me there. Finally I am free (sort of) of him. Now he is harassing my friends and family desperately trying to get me back ( he is mentally unstable and codependent) but he has now gotten to the point where he is telling my friends (via one of my friends boyfriends) that I gave him herpes. Which very well may not be true, by the way. But very inappropriate regardless. Also, he gave me HPV ( no symptoms just an abnormal pap) , but he also was telling people I gave him hpv. Ahh, just wonderful, my desperate lying asshole of an ex. 
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    • Learningtolivewithhsv
      By Learningtolivewithhsv
      So I am new to the herpes world. I was diagnosed with ghsv-1 on May 17th. I was dating two guys at once (one I was sexually active with and someone else). The last person I had sex with, I am pretty sure he’s the one that gave it to me. I did disclose to all of my sex partners using text free because I was too embarrassed to reveal myself. But anyway, today I disclosed to the other guy I was seeing when I found out that I was gHSV-1 positive. We have been seeing one another one to two time a week and have planned basically our whole summer out. Even though he wanted to take it slow we are most definitely sexually attracted to one another and planned on having sex somewhere along the lines. This morning I decided to disclose via text that I have ghsv-1. I gave him some fact/transmission rates and have left everything in his hands. He’s currently at work and asked if it’ll be okay for him to call me when he gets off. Let’s see how this turns out. I am prepared for the worst, but hoping for the best. I will keep you guys posted.
    • davidis
      By davidis
      Hey friends,


      Haven't posted in a while - but I wanted to write a quick post, I had my kinda-5-year-herpes anniversary (got it on my birthday  which makes it easier to remember) - and I'm happy to say that since then I've been in 4 relationships with non-herpes people (with a few short ones in between) and it has only gotten easier for me to disclose each time.

      When I was first diagnosed I had a hard time coming to terms with the fact that I would have to disclose to everyone I meet some horrible secret, because after the initial shock it didn't feel horrible at all... it just felt like a harmless thing I had to live with.

      So then I decided that that's how I was going to live my life - I tell people who I'm dating about it as soon as I can tell it's going well. Sometimes the night I meet them. And in five years I have not met a single person who has turned me away because of it.

      I truly, truly believe it's the only way to live with herpes - the more we keep it a secret, the more people will think it's something to be afraid of - which it's not. When I was first diagnosed, I met someone at the Toronto herpes meetup who sat down with me and told me that it wasn't a big deal - and that generally speaking, people don't care. Five years later and it's some of the best advice I've been given.

      I know there are exceptions, and I know from what people here have told me that it can be incredibly difficult to disclose, but I really hope that doesn't stop anyone here from trying.

      This is just my experience - but if one person reads this and feels hope, then I'll be happy.

      You're all beautiful snowflakes

      - David.
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  • Posts

    • HerpesOrNot
      @DJwah curious about your results. anything you can share?
    • HerpesOrNot
      Thanks. Did you experience general discomfort when urinating for quite a while after the excruciating part was done, or was it instantly over after the week with antivirals? 
    • HerpesOrNot
      Thanks for the response.  I have been tested for HSV over and over for 5 months (IgM 1 time and IgG over 5 times) and been negative on everything, including a swab of a red rash and of an irritated urethral opening.  My very first symptom of anything was VERY painful urination that lasted about a day or two if I recall, followed a week or so later by a sore throat, chills, night sweats, and fatigue.  Things settled for maybe a few days, then came an extremely itchy anus/rectum with redness for weeks, itchy groin with no redness at all, then eventual red, itchy rash in groin and increase in redness on penile skin with mild itching. Never had a lesion or blister anywhere from what I've seen. Nothing seems to coincide with typical herpes, but herpes isn't always typical from what I've learned. Creams of all kinds from doctors are not helping at all.  I seem to have a new bug no one has ever come across (doubtful), or an atypical case of herpes or something similar. 
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