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Nightmare7575

How bad is this

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Nightmare7575

Because of my stupid actions I am here. Last week I found out that I have Herpes 2 which I knew I did not have since I used a condom and have no symptoms,even some of the medical people said there was no need to get tested,but for good or bad I went to get a blood test [it was the right test with a high index valume]   and BAM I now may have changed  my life forever,I can only imagine the women I will not meet because of this or the ones who will say[We should just be friends ]I would not blame them.. All I know is I have this virus with no symptoms  and have no idea when I am shedding and can pass it on,the only thing that makes this real is the email that says I am positive. I am 54 so I know there are a millions things worse then this ,but this is huge and could be a life changer . If I did not have family that cared about me,I would have just ended everything that day.but that would hurt to many others,so here I am and I am preparing myself to be alone if that does happen .  All I had to do was have lee risky sex with the woman I was with and I would not be here,but I was to stupid . I can hear myself say  [well I have herpes ,but I have no idea when I will get it or when I will pass it on,but you will be OK.I don't think that will turnout to well.

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WilsoInAus

It may be that you have had herpes for over 30 years!

All that has happened is that you now know one of the 80 viruses in your body. In terms of the age bracket you are in, maybe half of the available women will have genital HSV-2 - perhaps even more for certain demographics.

You may have gone 30 or more years with no issues on any front from HSV-2 and will probably go another 30 plus years with no issues, unless you let it ;)

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Nightmare7575

Somebody else said with such a high index volume I may have had it for a long time..The woman I was with had her first OB two weeks after we were together and I got tested about six to eight weeks later,so I think it was from her. I was married for 22 years and did not have sex with anybody else and my wife never got it or had any outbreaks.

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WilsoInAus

As I say, there is the very real possibility that you have had this virus many, many years. There is a very high chance that you infected the woman who had the outbreak after being with you.

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Nightmare7575

It just hard for me to believe that after 22 years my ex-wife did not come down with this and never had a OB and all of the sudden it pops up and infects somebody..My wife and I had lots of unprotected sex ,so it would seem highly highly unlikely ,but I guess it could happen.The only way I would have known now is if I got tested before the other woman I had sex with or if she comes up negative . The other woman enjoyed her sexuality and had other partners which is just fine,I should have cut it off at no intercourse which I did not do and I might not be on this board..

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Lisajd

Getting diagnosed is not easy and in time it does get better.  And you said it yourself at your age you know there are worse things that can happen and you will realise in time that having herpes is not the end of the world

You say your wife was never infected has she actually been tested.  

If you got tested positive 6 to 8 weeks later that is less than the normal time frame for antibodies to develop so it is possible that you did have it prior to her.  And given that she had an outbreak two weeks after sex with you that also indicates a possibility as well.  

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Nightmare7575

So Married 22 years and together 28 .nothing but unprotected sex and she would never have a OB,my ex-wife and I were very open about sex and knew each other parts well [lol],she would have showed me for sure if there was a blister.a spot or anything, anything is possible and maybe neither one of  us  got OBs .Unfortunately my ex is very sick and fighting another huge health issue so I will not be asking her.. Either way I have this now for sure from now or from the past

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Stillme1968

welcome to my world. I was married for twenty years and never would have thought to get tested..did not feel like I needed to. I was in a monogamous relationship. This was the father of my children and I would have noticed if I had an outbreak. I never suspected a thing til after the divorce when his new wife had a bad outbreak and he found out he had it and told me to go get tested..I found out I had it. I am asymptomatic. They can tell me only that at some point in my life I was exposed to this virus and now have the antibodies to proove it. Did it mess with my mental health? you better believe it! Felt like my entire world was coming down around me. I was a newly divorced single mother of a teenager trying to get my degree when this diagnosis came at me out of the blue. I had assumed that since I was faithful the entire length of our marriage that the ex was too but I have no way of knowing this. It could also be true that one or both of us had this when we got married way back in 1991 and never knew

Edited by Stillme1968

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Nightmare7575

Well this is something, because our stories are really really close except I don't have the kid[lol]. When you got tested did you have a high index value ? For me its just hard to believe that neither one of us would have OBs,but then you said you two did not either ,so I don't know which way to go with this.All I do know is I know I have it now . The reason I ask about if you had a high index value is because some are saying that might prove I have had this longer then I have thought.. How have things been for you lately ? How do you know when you are shedding since you don't have any symptoms ? that is the part that get me very nervous about being with somebody  ,since I don't know when I could pass it on.

Thanks for everybody's replies

Edited by Nightmare7575

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Lisajd
3 minutes ago, Nightmare7575 said:

Well this is something, because our stories are really really close except I don't have the kid[lol]. When you got tested did you have a high index value ? For me its just hard to believe that neither one of us would have OBs,but then you said you two did not either ,so I don't know which way to go with this.All I do know is I know I have it now . The reason I ask about if you had a high index value is because some are saying that might prove I have had this longer then I have thought.. How have things been for you lately ? How do you know when you are shedding since you don't have any symptoms ? that is the part that get me very nervous about being with somebody  ,since I don't know when I could pass it on.

Thanks for everybody's replies

Unless you have some kind of itching or tingling or nerve pain you don't really know when you are heading and generally shedding occurs most often in the first year so if you have had this for a period of time the likelihood of you sharing is a lot less and they say that when you don't have our breaks you don't shed hence why people who are asymptomatic are generally lower risk.  And hence why you're wife may never have caught it.  Just because you have the virus it does not mean you are automatically going to transmit the virus I know other couples who have been in relationships for a long time and one partner never got it

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Nightmare7575

This is what came when I sent an email to some medical professionals. [11.40.volume,The index value does not reflect the status of the HSV, meaning it does not reflect how much of the virus is in your system. You do not have to worry about that value]the test was taken six to eight weeks  after I was with the woman who I though I got it from.

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