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Jenn2016

Why do I feel so negative about condoms?

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Jenn2016

I was diagnosed 1 year ago.  I caught HSV 2 from a past relationship.  My boyfriend was negative so since that time we have always used condoms.  I thought I was ok with it but as our relationship grows closer, I can't help feeling sad and depressed that we will never have the intimacy of unprotected sex.  I brought up the topic of me taking suppressive medication and trying in time to have sex without a condom.  He is absolutely against the idea.  I understand and fully respect his choice.  It's his body and his life.  But I started wondering, maybe it's better I find a partner who is positive like me and not live with this shame and hurt everyday.  Anybody have experience with this or can anyone relate to my confusion and sadness.  

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Nightmare7575

Not  being harsh at all,but have you read the stories on here from people who are afraid they will never find somebody or finds somebody who understands and you have a guy who understands and is sticking with you ,is he OK with it ?   Do you have Oral without a condom,do you give him hand jobs without a condom or do other things without a condom ,because those are also intimate acts you are sharing,so really think if you want to give up somebody like this because of a condom.  

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eightyfour

I understand, I don't like condoms at all either.

Unfortunately you have to respect his decision. But there are also plenty of examples of people on here who have partners who are negative and they don't use condoms and the partners are ok with just using the suppressive medication, and willing to take the chance. There is a woman on here who has had HSV2 for 25 years and has a normal sex life with her husband including oral with no condoms, and the husband has never contracted it. So its possible.

I say don't settle. Sure its hard. You will think, "Why would anyone else accept me? I better hold onto this one because at least they are willing to take a chance with a  condom." But I don't like limiting yourself like that

Edited by eightyfour

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MoniqueLow

Exactly the same feeling... He wouldn't go without condom because he's scared to get it. It's more about him than me, he can't enjoy as much because I'm sick. And imagine if you want to get pregnant one day, what then? I told my bfriend few times to find a healthy girl. He stays now, but what about future? He can change his decision and leave after the love weaken and he won't want to risk the transmission. Then I will be too old to find someone else and have kids. Stupid virus :-(

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