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raisinsgirl

New here, dating for the first time after 12yr relationship

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raisinsgirl

Hi, nice to meet you.

I'm happy to have found somewhere I can slightly shed some tears and get some understanding from others in my situation. 

I'm in Hawaii right now and tomorrow is my birthday. I came out here on a risk. Met someone I really hit it off with in an mmo, and I confessed my hsv before coming here. He initially was okay with it and even said I was worth it. I believed it and booked a bday trip to be with him. 

We got together once, I am on Zovirax and have not had any flare ups in over 5 years. He is now staying away from me, I think I scared him off. So, now I'm here, alone on my birthday, on an island. I feel so shitty. 

I'm going to use this as a lesson for the future, but now the hurdle is telling potential mates. 

Edited by raisinsgirl

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Lisajd

Hi there I'm really sorry that he has put you through that are you sure he definitely understand the risks.   Try enjoy your birthday and just enjoy the sights.  Personally I don't do those kinds of distance relationships because there are a lot of dodgy people out there.   What type of herpes do you actually have and how do you disclose because that's what's the trick I think.  I would suggest that this guy might have only been using you for sex.   

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raisinsgirl

I told him upfront when we started connecting on a more personal level and feelings were getting involved. I explained that I had hsv2 and that my previous partner of 12 years never got it while we had sex with condoms each and every time.

I had also never taken medication in my last relationship, but I did start taking it for this new scenario. I told him that with condoms and no medication, it was a 6% chance of contraction, but that with antiviral meds and no condoms (which he prefers), it was 4%, theoretically safer.

When we met up, we had sex and it was without a condom. Later in the day, he said he wanted to get them, so we did and continued that way. After that, he's been staying away.

Edited by raisinsgirl

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Nightmare7575

I am with Lisajd on this ,it sounds to me like he got his sex and now he is distancing himself from you ,this happen with people who don't have Herpes also as we all know. What do you two have in common besides the sex ? because when you go on vacation sex does happen, but then you have a whole lot more hours when its just you two and no sex,so  traveling with somebody you only met can be very difficult under any circumstances. Your in Hawaii go out and do some stuff ,because who knows when you might be there again, try your best to enjoy it . He might see that you are having a great time without him and come looking your way,if you still want him.  

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Lisajd

Also my understanding is that weird condoms and medication the risk is 1% where abouts did you get those statistics from

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