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I've found someone, disclosed, but I'm still anxious!

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Hey, I’m new here, diagnosed in 2013 with HSV I get both oral and genital outbreaks (I think I have HSV1, I have oral outbreaks more than genital). I’ve been on Valacyclovir for the past two years. Haven’t really had any long term serious sexual relationships since my partner who gave it to me. After being mostly single for 2 years, I’m dating someone who could possibly be something long term. I’ve already disclosed, he was supportive and did some of his own research afterward.

Now that we’ve started having sex I’ve been so anxious about passing it to him. I’m on anti-virals, but I keep getting I’m worried that I’ll miss an outbreak cause my genital outbreaks have never been all that severe. Like “is that just a zit or herpes” or “My vulva itches a bit” level. I just keep worrying that if I don’t know my body enough I can’t protect him from something that causes me so much stress and anxiety. Without antivirals, if I had a stressful day, you could almost guarantee I would have a cold sore the next day. (I have anxiety disorder as well so that doesn’t help much either :P).

Looking for support because It’s been hard for me to fall asleep on the nights we’ve had sex and its messing with my self-confidence. I know that a lot of my stress is coming from the negative internal monologue I was telling myself for years. I like to think that I’ve gotten past that but it seems to be bubbling up again.

How have you dealt with your negative internal monologue surrounding genital herpes? I always thought I could never have a fulfilling sex life, and this man is proving me so wrong. I don't want to be anxious about my herpes because I've finally found someone who is so awesome.  

Thanks for listening

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Hi @Art_emis thanks for sharing I got into a relationship as I was getting diagnosed it just kind of happened he is awesome too. That was 15 months ago. Worrying as you know is one of the most useless things we do. You are taking all the necessary precautions. I realize he wants to be with me I think more than he cares about the herpes. I try to be the best partner i can and try the best not to infect him. My guy tested positive for hsv1 he had cold sores as a child. Did your guy get tested. Yesterday I felt ob coming dealing with something so doubled up meds and wont be seeing him today...

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8 minutes ago, LillianPanos said:

Did your guy get tested. Yesterday I felt ob coming dealing with something so doubled up meds 

No he hasn't gotten tested. I've heard the tests aren't always worth it because they give false results. Whats your take? 

Which meds do you take? I'm on 1 gram of Valacyclovir a day. Is that what you take as well? 

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I was on 1 gram went down to 500 mg valacyclovir. My guy tested quite low for hsv 1 but it was positive and he said he had cold sores as a child though hasnt had one in years. Did your guy mention he had them? I know some of the testing sucks! @Art_emis

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He hasn't mentioned that he had them, but with how common the virus is I wouldn't be surprised if he has been exposed to it in some form. He's older than me and has been dating much longer than I have. 

How did you determine that you could go down to 500mg? I've been worried that if I take less it wont be as effective. 

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I think I would be more worried about the risk of transmission from my oral HSV than genital because it is quite low that risk but if he is ok with it just accept it and enjoy being in the relationship.   I'm in a situation where I just broke up with someone I have hsv2 he had HSV 1 oral and it didn't impact on the relationship but now trying to meet somebody else is damn hard and so just enjoy the fact that he wants to be with you

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I know it's difficult it's just one of those things. I worry too. I had a pimple and an ingrown hair. And wasn't sure what if it was an ob. It sucks. It's just one of those things. One girl said she has her bf use condoms and wear underwear to try to protect better

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Hi, I need to get some help. I recently contracted hsv2 grinding on a guy I knew for months. Well, my ex wants me back and now i don't know how to tell him about my "issue."  how do I bring it up? I am currently on acyclovir 3 times a day and will hopefully go to Valtrex. I have been symptomattic since the 25th of Sept so I got the ob really bad. Still extreme pain in vaginal area and butt. Eyes burn and nervous system issue as well. This really sucks. Any advice would be so helpful. He is the one and I don't want him to run and I am afraid to tell him the wrong way. I Don't want him to get this for sure. Thank you



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