Haven't posted in a while - but I wanted to write a quick post, I had my kinda-5-year-herpes anniversary (got it on my birthday which makes it easier to remember) - and I'm happy to say that since then I've been in 4 relationships with non-herpes people (with a few short ones in between) and it has only gotten easier for me to disclose each time.
When I was first diagnosed I had a hard time coming to terms with the fact that I would have to disclose to everyone I meet some horrible secret, because after the initial shock it didn't feel horrible at all... it just felt like a harmless thing I had to live with.
So then I decided that that's how I was going to live my life - I tell people who I'm dating about it as soon as I can tell it's going well. Sometimes the night I meet them. And in five years I have not met a single person who has turned me away because of it.
I truly, truly believe it's the only way to live with herpes - the more we keep it a secret, the more people will think it's something to be afraid of - which it's not. When I was first diagnosed, I met someone at the Toronto herpes meetup who sat down with me and told me that it wasn't a big deal - and that generally speaking, people don't care. Five years later and it's some of the best advice I've been given.
I know there are exceptions, and I know from what people here have told me that it can be incredibly difficult to disclose, but I really hope that doesn't stop anyone here from trying.
This is just my experience - but if one person reads this and feels hope, then I'll be happy.
You're all beautiful snowflakes
Approximately 5 years ago a girl gave me a peck on the lips, I wiped my lips off.
The next morning I woke up with a painful rash all over my top lip that dried up and resulted in chapped lips, where the skin died and regenerated. No pus or obvious cold sore.
I have had this same outbreak approximately once a year in the same place except for this year where I have had it almost continuously, I have been very stressed.
I went to the doctor who says it isn't cold sores (I have to wait 2 weeks for a blood test), however I have found someone ( To those with oral HSV2 only by Penumbra,) who tested positive for HSV2 by blood test with my EXACT symptoms.
Before an outbreak, my lip/nose area is tingling a lot and I feel a strong twitching in my lip.
Is it possible that I have mild cold sores?
I would greatly appreciate any help
How do you strike a balance between remaining unemotional in delivering a disclosure speak and any subsequent questions and being honest about how it has affected you emotionally?
For me, the emotional fallout of dealing with HSV has had a huge impact and I find it hard to rationally think about how I would deal with this and all the stress of worrying about transmission without letting on how much I am thinking about it – to not scare the other person away and make them think HSV is something to worry about.
I would want to inform a partner yet enable them to think about it with as little negativity as possible, and yet how could I do this if I was being honest about how I really feel about it?
And if I couldn't be honest about my journey with it, would that in itself cause more resentment, anger and bitterness? This time directed at the virus itself not the person that gave it to me?
In essence, for me, dealing with HSV on an emotional level wouldn’t end after a successful disclosure where someone wanted to be in a relationship with me. It’s not the end of the story.
I've always had an anxiety and I've been seeing a counseller for two years now, as a result of getting HSV. It's not helping.
Hi i am wondering if anyone has experienced an unusually bad mood and irritability that comes on for no apparent reason much like PMT before an outbreak. I realise that stress will cause an outbreak but i have experienced extreme irritability and moodiness that comes out of nowhere with no actual bad event that would give me reason to feel this way. I would love to know if others have experienced this.