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My New Lady Parts

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Post Dx I feel very poorly about the state of my genitals, rightfully so. They have seemingly transformed. I am never as fresh anymore. I always have weird bumps and such even if I am not having an outbreak. I have weird pangs of itching, pain, and what feels like electrical zaps to the area. Not horrible all the time, but enough to remember a time when nothing ever felt off down there. 

I am curious, how can I embrace my condition, and make the best of a horrible situation when I literally am disgusted by myself? How can I ever feel confident enough to let someone else deal with me, when I am really not even sure what said person is going to get when it comes down to it. My lady parts are a big question mark, I never know what is going on down there. 

I literally gross myself out. How will I ever allow someone to be intimate with me again? It's like I lost that part of myself. 

Has anyone else ever felt that way?

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I completely understand how you feel. I want you to know that there is so much more to this illness than just treating physical symptoms. There is an element of emotional/even spiritual pain and healing that needs to be addressed as well. It's tied to your beliefs and thoughts about yourself, and you can change those! It's the hardest work you will ever do in your life, but you will come out on the other side even better than before, if you commit to fully exploring and then healing your pain around this issue. Just know that there is hope! It will get better if you honor your feelings about it, as you are doing now. Just remember that your feelings will come and go and you get to decide how you ultimately want to feel and think about yourself and your sexuality/genitals. And once you fully heal the emotional issues with it, you will absolutely be able to have intimacy with another person again. 

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