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G.Jane

Hurt by the one I trusted the most

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G.Jane

Hello all,

I am new here to the forum. I came here today because I just need to vent. I need someone to hear my story, the pain, the hurt, the feelings I am going through. Someone to just listen.....

 

About 2 years ago I met the love of my life. He is amazing. He loves me to death and treats me like a princess. From day 1 he always promised to love me. We moved in together 2 years ago, and ever since it has been me and him.

About 6 months into our relationship, I knew something was wrong down there. And when I looked, I knew. I went to the Drs, and they told me I had Herpes. I did not know how I got it, I have only been with 1 other guy, and he had protection, and he knew he did not have any STDs. I was in complete shock. I was only 20 when I found out. 20 years old and I am scarred for the rest of my life. The OB lasted about a week or 2, and let me tell you that was the worst time of my life. My Fiance was very supportive of me , and caring during my weak time. 

 

So anyways, a few more months go by, and it is the day of my Fiances 1 year anniversary being together. I ended up logging into an old old Facebook of his that he did not even remember, and knew about. 

And I see this message to his exes mom:

"Your daughter gave me HERPES. I do not know what to do, please help me i'm only 17."

 

At this moment, my heart sank.

He knew all along. And did not tell me. 

 

I was very hurt. Knowing that he did not tell me or even mention it in the beginning. HE took my choice away.

When I confronted him, he told me he was not positive that he had it, and that he did not want me to leave because he loved me. His Ex gave him herpes, and did not tell him. But he pretty much did the same to me, but we are still together. 

To this day he always says its all his fault and that he is a piece of poop. I love him, more than anything. He is my love, but I just do not get how you can lie to someone you love and hide something like that from them. I go through stages of depression. Right now I am feeling the depression more than ever. 

I will never be me again. The innocent girl who loved life, and seen the happiness in the world. I will never be truly happy again, knowing that this wonderful disease will be with me for the rest of my life....

 

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ACE2002
24 minutes ago, G.Jane said:

I will never be me again. The innocent girl who loved life, and seen the happiness in the world. I will never be truly happy again, knowing that this wonderful disease will be with me for the rest of my life....

 

It's just sores you get on your junk, relax,lol! Herpes doesn't prevent you from doing anything a non herpes person can do. Besides most women with herpes find it easier to date than men who have it, that's probably why he didn't tell you, to trap you. That's life though so.........

Edited by ACE2002

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Mina85

I think you'll find as you get older that you will periodically experience something that makes you not the person you were yesterday regardless of whether it was herpes or not.  It's OK to change, innocence is overrated and this time will prepare you for other obstacles you wouldn't have otherwise been emotionally ready to process.  

A lot of people who have had a questionable result will respond with denial and that's probably what he was doing when he ignored his prior diagnosis.  I'm not saying it's OK, I'm saying that you'll find there's a whole spectrum of people who are confused about what their responsibilities are, especially since doctors really don't care about HSV.

Regardless of what happens between you and him, keep talking to the other people who got it super young.  I have friends who got it at 15 or 16 and have had successful dating lives and/or marriages and are now in their 40s or older.  Yeah, this adds a potentially inconvenient hurdle to dating, but I think you'll impress yourself with how you come through it.

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Lisajd

You love each other and that is what counts and people make mistakes and if he is good to you in every other way then try and move on from what has happened because herpes is not going to stop you from living your life.  

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WilsoInAus

In life, things only have the power you give them, and there is not fate but what you make.

This is entirely true of something like HSV. It will play as big or as little a role in your life as you let it. Most of the 5 billion people on the planet have the mindset that HSV is just not worth worrying about in the scheme of a human life.

Are all the facts on the table here? At such a tender age it can be a temptation to rush in to interpretation. What tests have you and your partner undertaken? Do you know type? Do either of you have oral cold sores?

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Blahdittilyblah

We all lie to loved ones the severity of a lie is really irrelevant in context, a lie is a lie. Something like this is extremely difficult to discuss because of stigma and fear of being rejected and then it getting out to everyone. Everyone has their own reason as to why they do or don't disclose. I can tell you it wasn't malicious in nature. Sometimes we get so overloaded with emotion, stress, anxiety, and other daily life struggles that we just can't find a way to say something we've been dying internally to say. 

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