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Likelihood of transmission - PLEASE HELP


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I've been in a relationship for a couple of months (not experienced in dating period) and I have HSVII. I didn't tell him immediately, because it was very rocky...he kept accusing me of things that I was not doing...hmmm. We have had unprotected sex, however, I haven't had an outbreak in almost 2 years. Is it likely that he could have gotten anything from me? He told me that he has been with probably over 100 women! Sadly, I really did fall in love with him and he said he loved me too, but now he's angry and treating me like a leper. Help, if there is any!

Also, my doc said I didn't need Valtrex because I rarely, if ever, had outbreaks.

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Your body is yours. You take care of your body for yourself.

I don't think you should take Valtrex just to keep the relationship. You haven't had outbreak, you definitely don't need Valtrex. And bear in mind, even though you don't have outbreak, even though you take Valtrex, the virus can be shed.

Did you tell him before you guys had sex or after....? (if after, it was your mistake, I think, but..)

Well..... either way.... the fact is he's treating you like a disease. You are not disease, you know that. And... based on this fact... do you think your relationship with him can survive....? Sorry, but I don't think so.

You are in love, you may not be able to see... but look, this guy has been with over 100 women. Probably has been having unprotected sex also. And... do you think he doesn't have anything...? Many people get herpes from the first guy/girl they slept with. There are so many other STDs also. I would say, it is likely that you could've gotten something from him. I wouldn't have unprotected sex with the guy like him in the first place. (rather not have sex itself)

When a relationship has a problem, it's time for you to think through.

I would be alone for a while and calm down, and think if I really love the person or not.

You are not living for him. You are living for yourself.

Love is huge. True love doesn't have to be romantic. Sometimes, just saying "I love you" doesn't mean anything...

Sorry to be blunt. But it's my honest opinion.

Best wishes...


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  • 3 weeks later...
Guest Anonymous

transmission possibility

Hello, I a teenager and I recently started dating a girl, I am reasonally sure I have type I. I have never received oral sex before and I was wondering if I will transmit H to my girlfriend if she performs on me. I also wanted to ask about the chances of shedding with type I, I don't really don't want anyone else to have to go through what I have to endure.

All replies are appreciated.


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    • WilsoInAus
      Welcome @Marlena correct you and your partner would benefit from the type specific version of the HSV test (meaning a separate result for HSV-1 and HSV-2). I had no idea the Euroimmun or equivalent actually had a combined version, it is pretty useless given the high incidence of HSV-1. Only one thing to add is that if you are getting frequent symptoms then you can obtain a swab and have this tested for HSV and other things as well.
    • WilsoInAus
      Yeah @FirstTimeUser there is nothing in the pic suggestive of genital herpes. It seems both you and your partner have HSV-1 orally and that's actually pretty cool. It means you won't pass it to each other's genitals owing to immunity. If the two of you are concerned about genital HSV-2 then mutually test for the IgG HSV-2 and HSV-1 antibodies.
    • CHT
      Hi "firstimeuser".... let's see what "WilsoinAus" thinks but, for what's it worth, I don't see anything in your picture (or description) that looks like herpes..... it actually looks more like a scrape or follicle issue.... maybe even a bug bite.  Also, by the way, the odds of having HSV2 with an outbreak on your testicles is very low.... that is not a typical spot for an HSV2 outbreak.    Have your doctor take a look and if you want some peace of mind, get an IgG antibody test for HSV2 in about 12 weeks (takes that long for antibodies to develop).... but, again, I don't think you have anything to worry about here.... just not seeing anything herpes-related here.    take care....best of luck.
    • CHT
      Hi Marlena..... since you stated you've had "herpes on the lips" then you likely have oral HSV1, which the majority of adults worldwide have... the fact your results for HSV1/2 are positive (at least I believe that's what your results show - I don't speak Polish but, I think I'm seeing your results are positive based on the attachment you included) may simply be reading the fact that you have HSV1.... the question is whether you've contracted HSV2 in your genital area. Your description of symptoms could possibly be related to HSV but, it's difficult to verify with certainty based on your description. You may also have contracted a different type of sexually transmitted infection (STI) or a simple fungal infection.   Your doctor does not believe what he/she is seeing is HSV but, unless your doctor has experience with HSV, they could easily misdiagnose your condition.  You need full STI testing. Do you have the option to travel to a larger city in Poland where you could get an appointment to be seen by a doctor with more experience with STIs?  You really need to have an experienced doctor take a look and run tests to check specifically for HSV2 as well as other STIs.  If they can rule out HSV2 or other STIs then hopefully they can then determine what is causing the redness, itching, and swollen condition.... again, it may not be HSV2 but, you need proper testing to verify.  Have you talked to your boyfriend about all this?  Has he had any symptoms on his genitals that are suspect?  Has he taken any tests to check for STIs?   I hope you can get more definitive testing so you know what you are dealing with and how best to treat it.  If you have any other questions/concerns, please come back and let us know.... I hope this helps a little.... best of luck.... take care.
    • CHT
      Hey Jeremy.... I know only too well that emotional pain you are feeling.... I really do.... and many of us on this site also know that pain.  It's not so much the physical side of having HSV that hurts, it's the stigma and risk of rejection that stings like hell!  You have to do what you think is right as it relates to when you disclose your HSV status when getting to know someone romantically.... I just think it's best to do it relatively early, and certainly before any sexual activity.   Have you looked into dating sites that cater to those with HSV?  I know others have had some luck with meeting partners on these sites.... you don't have to worry about the "disclosure" talk nor would you obviously have to worry about passing along a virus the other person already has.... take a few minutes and search around and see if it's an option you like. By the way, by taking your daily antiviral med and using a condom, your risk of passing along the virus is down around 1.9%.... pretty good odds that if you stick to your regimen you are very unlikely to transmit the virus....keep that in mind when you meet your next girlfriend and need to have "the talk."  That statistic might help calm any concerns about contracting the virus from you. I hope you don't give up.... as tough as it can be to find the right partner, it's still worth trying.... try to stay optimistic and look into some alternate options and see what happens.... all the best.... take care.
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