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Likelihood of transmission - PLEASE HELP

Scarred4Life

By Scarred4Life,
in Spreading and Preventing Herpes

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Scarred4Life Newbie

Scarred4Life

Posted
Posted

:cry:

I've been in a relationship for a couple of months (not experienced in dating period) and I have HSVII. I didn't tell him immediately, because it was very rocky...he kept accusing me of things that I was not doing...hmmm. We have had unprotected sex, however, I haven't had an outbreak in almost 2 years. Is it likely that he could have gotten anything from me? He told me that he has been with probably over 100 women! Sadly, I really did fall in love with him and he said he loved me too, but now he's angry and treating me like a leper. Help, if there is any!

Also, my doc said I didn't need Valtrex because I rarely, if ever, had outbreaks.

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Faith Established Member

Faith

Posted
Posted

Hi,

Your body is yours. You take care of your body for yourself.

I don't think you should take Valtrex just to keep the relationship. You haven't had outbreak, you definitely don't need Valtrex. And bear in mind, even though you don't have outbreak, even though you take Valtrex, the virus can be shed.

Did you tell him before you guys had sex or after....? (if after, it was your mistake, I think, but..)

Well..... either way.... the fact is he's treating you like a disease. You are not disease, you know that. And... based on this fact... do you think your relationship with him can survive....? Sorry, but I don't think so.

You are in love, you may not be able to see... but look, this guy has been with over 100 women. Probably has been having unprotected sex also. And... do you think he doesn't have anything...? Many people get herpes from the first guy/girl they slept with. There are so many other STDs also. I would say, it is likely that you could've gotten something from him. I wouldn't have unprotected sex with the guy like him in the first place. (rather not have sex itself)

When a relationship has a problem, it's time for you to think through.

I would be alone for a while and calm down, and think if I really love the person or not.

You are not living for him. You are living for yourself.

Love is huge. True love doesn't have to be romantic. Sometimes, just saying "I love you" doesn't mean anything...

Sorry to be blunt. But it's my honest opinion.

Best wishes...

Faith

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  • 3 weeks later...
Guest Anonymous

Guest Anonymous

Posted
Posted

transmission possibility

Hello, I a teenager and I recently started dating a girl, I am reasonally sure I have type I. I have never received oral sex before and I was wondering if I will transmit H to my girlfriend if she performs on me. I also wanted to ask about the chances of shedding with type I, I don't really don't want anyone else to have to go through what I have to endure.

All replies are appreciated.

Thanks

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    • CHT
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      By CHT · Posted

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    • CHT
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      By CHT · Posted

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    • CHT
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      By CHT · Posted

      Hey Jeremy.... I know only too well that emotional pain you are feeling.... I really do.... and many of us on this site also know that pain.  It's not so much the physical side of having HSV that hurts, it's the stigma and risk of rejection that stings like hell!  You have to do what you think is right as it relates to when you disclose your HSV status when getting to know someone romantically.... I just think it's best to do it relatively early, and certainly before any sexual activity.   Have you looked into dating sites that cater to those with HSV?  I know others have had some luck with meeting partners on these sites.... you don't have to worry about the "disclosure" talk nor would you obviously have to worry about passing along a virus the other person already has.... take a few minutes and search around and see if it's an option you like. By the way, by taking your daily antiviral med and using a condom, your risk of passing along the virus is down around 1.9%.... pretty good odds that if you stick to your regimen you are very unlikely to transmit the virus....keep that in mind when you meet your next girlfriend and need to have "the talk."  That statistic might help calm any concerns about contracting the virus from you. I hope you don't give up.... as tough as it can be to find the right partner, it's still worth trying.... try to stay optimistic and look into some alternate options and see what happens.... all the best.... take care.
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