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fixme1

My ongoings so far

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fixme1

So, the past year the idea of hsv has spiked my mood up and down. I let it affect me in everyway, then along came my gf 8months ago, I know I have symptoms and stuff but I'm one of them people in limbo ( although the other month I 100% had a on but it healed to quick) my gf accepted the situation, I got happy had a good relationship then my feelings of being worthless came back , I started to worry and care for her in the mindset I could cause her pain and that she has been amazing and why do I deserve her, this got me down alot, it's very sad I know considering she loved me and would take any risk. The long term affects have caused me not to be myself, the happy fun self I was , the past 2 years before my relationship I was down severerly cause of my ex being decietful to me so I knew what being depressed was like, it came back again even though I'd meet someone who loved me I still let it get me down again due to me being weak. This took it's toll as my gf couldn't cope with my mood spikes , she clearly didn't want to understand me and just picked at my minor faults but then dismissed it when I felt down.  I just wish I'd got a hold of myself and showed who I really was to her and not let something like hsv change who I was. I've had noone to talk to and try be supportive on here but I guess we all have our times in life where we struggle. ive struggled with mental health in the past so it isnt all hsv related thoughts, i have my niggles as does anyone, ive just been to lazy and ignorant to fix them

 

I don't know how to explain to her how I am but I guess she will just ignore me. Message to anyone reading this, however hard it is try to look past hsv.

Edited by fixme1

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WilsoInAus

Well only as hard as we make it for ourselves. 

Remember if you are not enough with herpes, you sure won't be enough without herpes.

You are letting herpes play with your fears. It is also possible that if it wasn't herpes, it would be something else.

We all need to throw the pirates over board and unlock our treasure chest, that is, our love.

This is about taking control of HSV and. It letting it control you.. You can either just forget about herpes or get the Westernblot you have been promising yourself.

Edited by WilsoInAus

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fixme1

Indeed my friend, I just let everything else get me down too that just triggered me. Just lost the best thing I had, I had to rant.. she just couldn't cope as her job is stressful enough I guess. I've never made a post like this and it took alot and its alot more than just from a break up, i was struggling during a relationship which highlights a deeper issue to me , seeking help is the next step. I'm glad you posted as you talk sense

Edited by fixme1

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RVX Patient and Investor

i don't have much wisdom on this i'm afraid.  i can say that i have made several good friends off of this site, people i chat with on whatsapp or whatever.  just that alone helps a lot.  i have greatly appreciated your support on this website.

i am optimistic about HSV research.  if it isn't RVx, it will be somebody, and we won't be so old it doesn't matter.  keep the faith!

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fixme1

ill pull back to myself, ill support anyone who wants to give positivty to the world. thats why i can see you are genuine. Im fighting my own battles i guess, hsv or not id still be down. Im not giving up and i wont let it get a hold of me no more

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eightyfour

Well your post is hard to follow, but I can tell you that you are partially trying to blame her in there for not "wanting to understand you" because this is just "how I am". That's the wrong mindset

In other places in your post, you do take responsibility for your mess, and say that you've been too lazy and ignorant to fix yourself. This is what you need to do. Figure out why you think you are worthless, and stop thinking that way. A lot of people like to feel depressed about themselves, and HSV is just another way to do that. Perhaps you like feeling sorry for yourself? Truly look and see if that may be a possibility.

"Looking past HSV" doesn't solve anything. You don't "look past" because then you are just pretending. You accept you have HSV, realize its not a big deal, and move on. Sure its easier said than done. But you have to man up. Chat room has been helpful for me. I even reached out to one person and talked over a video chat.

What kind of life do you want to live? Start the ground work of achieving that, step by step. Then come back in a year and post your success story after you've gone through all the bumps and bruises

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fixme1

I've been successful and been in sound mind before. I can do it again, my post was ramblings on cause I probs lost it that day, you are 100% correct I will take charge and show I can be a more positive person. Her loss either way , I was there to support my partner when she felt down but other way round it didn't work. Some people just won't help others , so I'm just gonna help myself

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fixme1

First step I need to get help tbh. Then I'll show everyone my old self again. Life's to short to sit cowaring and letting myself get down

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fixme1

Getting myself away from being negative and picking myself apart. I need to understand my own worth and realise in a good guy 

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fixme1

Ye I know Wilson I might do one more and just accept it . If I infect someone then I'll know for sure either way

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Lisajd

My life isnt great.  Herpes isnt the issue but i struggle being alone not partner alone...im over men but socially i have no life.  I can fix that but i have to choose to do it.  Its like anything in life you make a choice.  Im sure you will get there.  Fix your issues and h wont be a problem.  

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fixme1
10 minutes ago, Lisajd said:

My life isnt great.  Herpes isnt the issue but i struggle being alone not partner alone...im over men but socially i have no life.  I can fix that but i have to choose to do it.  Its like anything in life you make a choice.  Im sure you will get there.  Fix your issues and h wont be a problem.  

Hope you get sorted soon, thanks  for the kind words . I will be ok,  I'm just a weak minded lad and this was just a blow to me out the blue. Love ... It's good and bad in some ways haha

Edited by fixme1

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