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Brucie

Threats from Neighbors

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Brucie

I went to get an Rx filled at the corner drugstore today and I overheard the pharmacist telling the owners wife that "they" don't want me to shop around or touch things in that store because so many of my neighbors shop there, so I am being silently discouraged from hanging in there to buy anything other than my meds all because people I work with also live in the same area and don't want me shopping where they do??? I overheard enough to feel bad, like somebody accused me, even though I did nothing wrong. I hate this! It's so wrong to make people (with hsv) unwelcome like that that I really feel hurt about it. But nothing I say or do short of complying with this stricture is going to solve that problem with people living near me. I can look and touch anything there but am given the silent treatment unless something must be said about the item I'm buying. I'm wondering now what law would protect me from would-be threats or treatment of this kind?? Also, can I be sued if anyone shopping there contracts Herpes without another reason for it happening, if you get what I mean?

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tothefuture

Brucie

I've read some of your posts and this is all beginning to sound a little strange.

You were having problems at work because people didn't want to catch it from you. You were having problems socially because you didn't want to spread it someone else by kissing them - so you tell everyone you have it. Now you're having problems with shopkeepers who say you now also have problems with your neighbours!!!

Something is definitely odd about this.

You're either paranoid - and I do mean that with respect. Catching snippets of conversations in shops and assuming it's about you. A pharmacist will understsand this virus and ok may repeat what others say, but certainly wouldn't worry about catching it from someone shopping!

Or you're frightening everyone to death by disclosing you have this virus and you're getting what you'd expect - a frightened response. What business is it of theirs??!! What would possess you to tell people.

I apologise if I've picked it up wrong - I've just had a quick look at some of your other posts. But something is definitely amiss.

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MsLucy

I have to admit, I had the same gut reaction as you, tothefuture. Although I can only interpret what you've conveyed in your posts, Brucie, something does seem very strange. Although it may be true that some people who don't understand the disease may have misgivings about how contagious it actually is and how it can be transferred, what you have described in your posts seems more a persecution campaign. My question would have to be, how well did you relate to your coworkers and neighbors prior to your disclosure that you have hsv? Clearly, you could have been more discreet, but was that the beginning of the problem, or did that merely add fuel to an already smoldering fire? It seems that there must be a larger underlying problem here than herpes.

Forgive me if I'm wrong in my interpretation, but that's what I'm getting from the tone of your posts. It just seems like a gross over reaction by too many people to have been solely caused by skittishness about herpes.

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catiesmom

Whenever i hear these stories, i picture a small third-world country somewhere where medical knowledge is suspect and harrassment is common.

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ouch

yeah, I have kept quiet about much of this, but this issue with the co-workers and now with the pharmacy....something is amiss here. Either you ARE in some backwards ass small hick town with a bevy of the most ignorant people on Earth (not unheard of) OR you are making mountains out of molehills.

You know what??? Stop dilvulging your personal information to every tom dick and mary about your hsv status. Unless you plan on having sex with them or doling out some oral sex, (can't remember anylonger which form of H you have...) then you DO NOT HAVE TO TELL ANYBODY YOUR STATUS. Case closed. And if YOU are freaking out about HSV and having it, then those around you are going to start freaking out as well. And I think you would be quite AMAZED at how many of THOSE people ALSO have herpes.

But this is all getting a bit crazy. I strongly suggest you get some serious counseling if you have not already. For your OWN sanity. I think you are making things worse on yourself.

Good luck and I wish you some peace.

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inarut

Privacy policies

I live in a small hick town and actually do know the stigma attached to having hsv...but pharmisists arn't allowed to talk about your condition to anyone including their wives! There have been these new privacy laws put into effect to stop shit like this! If you actually do hear them talking about you...cheer up...you can own that frickin pharmacy soon! I think it is absolutely disgusting for a medical professional who deals with this on a DAILY basis to talk any kind of smack about their patrons! I just had my script filled at a local pharmacy and there were 2 of the most beautiful women working that I have seen in a long time....It was demoralizing to walk up to the counter and ask them or my Valtrex!!! I held my head high though and to my suprise they were very polite and actually held a conversation with me!!!!I think we beat ourselves up over having this more than we need to. Good luck to you and remember to hold your head high and walk with pride...it goes a long way!

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catiesmom

I guess that sort of makes sense. We know only a small handful of people who have gHSV, but pharmacists probably know how many people REALLY have it, and it's probably more common for them than we think.

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ducky406
I guess that sort of makes sense. We know only a small handful of people who have gHSV, but pharmacists probably know how many people REALLY have it, and it's probably more common for them than we think.

Well I'm sure 1 in 4 pharmacists have it themselves ;)

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sad sore & sorry

I think you would be quite AMAZED at how many of THOSE people ALSO have herpes.

When I feel yuk I sometimes try to comfort myself by imagining who else probably has it. As, in some STD training about 11 years ago, we were told that statistically if you have unprotected sex with 3 people, you will probably catch this ... just imagine Hollywood and the rock scene !

Imagine all those stars and how many of them have HSV too - known or unbeknown to them ? Think of the bands famous for their groupie scene ? Think of how often some of the stars change partners and how often those partners change partners ? Its a done deal. DEFINITELY.

I shouldn't name names but are you thinking of the same dumb, spoiled, rich, overpaid, untalented, indiscriminate bed - hopping slags I am ?!

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justagirl
.. that statistically if you have unprotected sex with 3 people, you will probably catch this ... just imagine Hollywood and the rock scene !

Embrace stereotypes and generalizations much? Thinking this way about people just because of their socio-economic status doesn't make much more sense than agreeing with people that think someone in a smaller town with H was a slut.

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Lonetraveler
Embrace stereotypes and generalizations much? Thinking this way about people just because of their socio-economic status doesn't make much more sense than agreeing with people that think someone in a smaller town with H was a slut.

Just because a someone has H doesn't make them a slut, we know that. But we also know the more you sleep around the great the chance of catching it. We know those Hollywood types sleep around.

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sad sore & sorry
Embrace stereotypes and generalizations much? Thinking this way about people just because of their socio-economic status doesn't make much more sense than agreeing with people that think someone in a smaller town with H was a slut.

:confused: Their wealth and celebrity status is not the point - as has lonetraveller, I am referring to the common, general sexual behaviour of that particular group.

Sexual behaviour that is very much of the kind that gets you exposed to HSV (and everything else).

Sexual behaviour that is above and beyond that of the general population.

The sexual behaviour of a group who commonly exhibit a lifestyle that belies a belief system that "rules that apply to other people, don't apply to me"

From their general, common behaviour, I have reason to assume this does not exclude 'rules' about safe sex.

I don't see this so prevalently, in quite the same way, in any other group that comes to mind. And I have worked in the area of public sexual health.

This group, it would appear, very frequently

  • changes partners
  • parties hard
  • is 'under the influence'

... quite possibly simultaneously, at a rate far greater than most of the general population.

This behaviour would put them at greater risk of infection with STI's - including HSV - than much of the general population.

Some of this group are extreme examples of this lifestyle / belief system.

Some here will remember that scene in the 60's and 70's; even the early 80's, also the Heavy Metal scene in general .... when it seemed even more extreme than now:

  • Groupies ++++
  • 'No one' bothered with condoms before AIDS / 1985
  • Full-on drug use very common (eg reduced inhibition)

My point being, in "older" celebrities, I imagine HSV would be an even higher incidence than today's scene.

There is widespread low self-esteem & misery in this forum about carrying HSV.

My point was some of the very same glamourous "lucky" types that people like to "people watch" or indeed 'idolise' will be in exactly the same boat - and very probably at a significantly higher rate than "Joe / Jane Average".

Somehow this cheers me up. Not that others are sick

but the commonality of this experience and how it can effect anyone. I thought that might help some in some way :eek:

Just because a someone has H doesn't make them a slut, we know that. But we also know the more you sleep around the great the chance of catching it. We know those Hollywood types sleep around.

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booboohead

my pharmacist

My pharmacist is in a hick town and I know their names and they know mine. They never treat me in any way but professionally, so I have no problem going in there for my meds.

I don't really want to go anywhere else...but my health insurance doesn't like my med, so they charge me an arm and a leg to get it from the pharmacy I've always gone to. So the last time I got a 3 months supply somewhat cheaper through the mail, and I didn't see anyone at all...just a boring package for pick up. Anyway, maybe that's a possibility if nosy neighbors or pharmacists are annoying you...check with your health insurance, and if you don't have any med coverage, you can definitely get it online at a real pharmacy.

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Beautiful Innocence

i am so sorry that you being treated this way.Now my friend the way they are treating you is not right and it truly angers me. They shouldnt intervein in your life like that. And they obviously dont haVE MUCH KNOWLEDGE on hsv, by the statements their saying.

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