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Accepting diagnosis

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I've had hsv for about a year now, but only diagnosed since January. Though it's been almost 9 months since being told I was infected, I cannot accept it or move past the depression it has caused me. I struggled with depression for years and I was getting better and now no matter how much I try to ease my mind I can't.. the only time I'm not unhappy about this is when I'm distracting myself and trying not to think about it, but the emotions can only be bottled up so long until I can't hold them in anymore.. this cycle has been going on since. I feel my life is over. I can never live normally again and I am only 18. I have thought about killing my self many times because of this. I can't cope with this and time isn't helping me at all. 

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i can totally relate and feel the same often (almost every day).  I also had depression, anxiety and OCD before my diagnosis. I was getting better then-BAM- HSV :(  

This is a good place to vent.

Stay busy, whatever works to stop the self-defeating messages and negative thinking. Practice stress management and positive affirmations.

Replace "Can't" with "Can."

Thats what I am working on today (really!)--Changing the mean messages I am telling myself- the bad self talk.

You CAN do it!:heart:

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  • 2 weeks later...

@abc12 -  What are you doing to manage your depression?  Are you taking anything?  I understand how you feel.  For me, I have been treating my depression with natural supplements that help increase serotonin and dopamine levels.  When I was first diagnosed, I was not taking those supplements regularly.  That probably contributed to my severe depression.  I used to take anti-depressants years ago, but choose not to anymore.  Have you tried exercising? Even just a short walk to start? I know - it's hard to even start, but when you do, you'll feel so much better and want to keep doing it.  Your life isn't over.  If anything, it can become even better.                                                                                                                                                             And, what IcantThinkofaName says is very helpful, too - the negative self-talk does us no good.  It is a habit and something we are comfortable and familiar with.  Treat yourself like you would a best friend, what would you be saying to her/him? 

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I have been in a similar situation in terms of depression in the form of anorexia and have been on antidepressants for some 20 years and am no longer on them and I guess at the end of the day you have to want to help yourself to get through this.  I still struggle but I make sure I do things that I enjoy and keep me happy. the effect Hsv is just an extension of your existing issues and the only way forward this is start dealing with those issues but you have to choose what you want from life and herpes does not stop you from living your life

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On 26/08/2017 at 4:18 AM, abc12 said:

I've had hsv for about a year now, but only diagnosed since January. Though it's been almost 9 months since being told I was infected, I cannot accept it or move past the depression it has caused me. I struggled with depression for years and I was getting better and now no matter how much I try to ease my mind I can't.. the only time I'm not unhappy about this is when I'm distracting myself and trying not to think about it, but the emotions can only be bottled up so long until I can't hold them in anymore.. this cycle has been going on since. I feel my life is over. I can never live normally again and I am only 18. I have thought about killing my self many times because of this. I can't cope with this and time isn't helping me at all. 

Your first step to acceptance is believing that you do not have a genital infection, but an oral HSV-1 since your childhood. 

Then you model yourself on others who have HSV-1. There are approaching 5 billion of them!!! They go about their lives exactly the way they choose - which is all the virus deserves!

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Hi @abc12


You might not believe me but those feelings will pass. I know it's hard right now and I urge you to focus your thoughts and effort on the things that will make your future better. Things like education, health, a good group of friends, self-awareness, intellectual curiosity. Before you know it, not only will you be in the top percentile of desirable people, but you will be living in a different world, a world more accepting of those with our infection.

By then, you will be admired for your strength and your wisdom, you will sought after and you will have your fare share of potential partners. To boot, you will be an independent woman, capable of choosing the partner(s) who make you feel your best.

The next few years of your life are going to determine the 35 that come afterward. Negative thoughts will compound and ruin all the potential above; positive thoughts will pay out dividends 10-fold. Will you let a skin rash shape your future?


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