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This is all so aggravating.

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I suppose to start, I had my first outbreak in 2015. This was a few months after I caught my ex cheating on me, so I wasn't in a great place at the time. We decided to work on things and stayed together. I told him to get tested - and he said he did - but didn't really talk about it or give me any details. I was still naive enough to think he wasn't garbage, and I'm pretty convinced he lied about it. 

In 2016, we bought a house. It was a kind of a "lots of projects" house and I was super excited that we'd be able to really make it "ours" and be able to stop renting. Not even a full year later, I threw him out for cheating, lying, and being just a generally terrible person. He lied about me to anyone who would listen but wouldn't talk to me about anything pertaining to our relationship. Everything was my fault. I was battling with depression for so long and the story to everyone was that I was too much drama. It didn't matter that I constantly had to hear the same bitching every day about work, or this, or that. I was so sick of being talked AT instead of talked TO. He turned a very good former friend against me (who I've just decided as also an asshole, because they're way too similiar. And before anyone suggests it, we were all 3 intimate. I could honestly care less about that right now).

Right now, I am just so entirely aggravated for so many reasons. He may have given me this. He broke my heart. He lied to my friends about me. I gave so much time, effort (and money) to a terrible relationship. I'm now stuck with an annoying disease, and rather than enjoy my newfound freedom, I will have to spend even more money to hire out the things I can't do myself. I've spent the last week feeling anxious and up and down, despite trying not to. I am failing miserably right now.

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Hi. Its a lot to cope with and hard to give advice. Just take one step at a time.  You are in a better place as you are not with a scumbag. Dont think having herpes is a barrier to being in a happy relationship again. 

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At least you got to keep the house. A "fixer upper" can be overwhelming but immensely gratifying. You have an opportunity to create a space that's unique to your needs and tastes. Your personal life is in a similar state right now. Yes, certain parts are broken, but you finally have the opportunity and incentive to build the life you've always wanted. You have options now. 

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I am so sorry to hear what you're going through. Just remember that through all of this the silver lining is that you've been able to remove the different poisons from your life, and try to embrace the things you can do now - similar to what LatentBloomer was getting at. You have so much opportunity to make a life for yourself the way you want it, with people who are trustworthy and loving and actually good people. Don't let stupid herpes stop you.

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