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Uhappy1

Recently diagnosed and not coping well

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I recently found out I had herpes from getting raped it was hard enough dealing with the fact that a complete stranger took away my security and something that should never be taken forcefully I was in such a dark space when that happened only to be told that I contacted herpes from it I'm so devastated I feel like the world is against me all I do when I'm not at work is cry and lay in bed I don't know what to do I can't sleep at night I have to double up on sleeping pills and I have no one to talk to my sister's keep asking me what's wrong cause they see the change they no of the rape but can't bring myself to tell them that I have herpes I'm embarrassed and don't think I can bare it if they started acting differently around me but I'm losing it cause it's all I think about the chances of me having a family or kids seems like it was snatched away from me in the most cruel and painful way and I don't know what to do I never could of thought this would be me I basically feel like my life is ruin with no chance of happiness now how can I love the rest of my life knowing I have this disease who will want me now 

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HSV need not be an impediment to relationships or anything we want in life.

Good place to start is what location is your herpes and do you get outbreaks?

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What testing have you had for herpes and what were the results?

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Blood test and it came back for positive HSV2

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It is quite possible you have been carrying the herpes Simplex virus all along and have never known.

A large percentage of people are carriers and DON'T EVEN KNOW! HSV is not screened by most doctors in STD screens.

I was diagnosed with type II two years ago after I had an outbreak. I had lesions swabbed. My blood test however was negative - pin pointing the smoking gun/bitch I got it from. A follow up blood test 6 weeks later returned positive (There were enough anti-bodies to be detected in my blood)

I've had no outbreaks since my initial one. In fact, I wouldn't even know I have herpes as I have no symptoms.

However, I have a moral requirement to disclose to potential partners and believe me.... Once you tell a chick, you never hear from them again. :(

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No I'm sure I didn't have it before hand and before that I got tested for everything even though I hadn't had sex for 8 months. But I worry alot so I get tested twice a year sex or no sex and regular paps and I never have unprotected sex I was clean 

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Did your doctor screen for HSV?

As I said, a lot of doctors don't. 

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Yes she took blood and tested for aids also and it's always negative I almost wish I got it by not being responsible but it's a even bitter pill knowing that I got it the way I  did

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That is a tough story to hear.  But I believe you can still triumph in life, with a happy career, marriage, family, and whatever else you want.  You need to grieve first though, we all have to some degree.  Some of us more than others.  I lost 30 pounds and didn't sleep much for about 3 months, and couldn't work.  It was rough.  I'm getting better now.  
Eating well really helps your mind, and your body.  I take a lot of supplements which may or may not help, but mentally they provide some comfort.  I have a great doctor who listens, and has investigated my situation beyond what his base of knowledge is/was.  Try to get one like this if you can.  (Though my infection is unusually bad... and since yours doesn't seem to be so maybe a specialized doctor isn't as important.)  
Lastly, I'm sorry to hear this.  Life isn't fair.  You shouldn't have this.  But you do now, like the rest of us here, and the choice is now yours about how to react.  Choose happiness and positivity whenever you can.   Do you have a pet or a teddy bear?  Hold them close.  My dogs are getting a ridiculous amount of affection from me.  I have one friend who I told about this, and guess what?  He has HSV2, which I never knew.  Now we can help each other.  TALKING HELPS.  
PTSD hits harder and longer for people who don't talk about what they're going through.  It doesn't have to be a therapist.  It can be someone here, or a friend or family member that you trust.  I'd suggest opening up to your sister.  Mine has been wonderful, and it has made us closer.  
Huge hugs to you.  PM me if you'd like.  

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Thank you and I'm sorry it's bad for you I'm dreading when I have my first outbreak and I'm just trying to take it one day at a time I guess I haven't told my sister's yet I don't know how to I'm scared of there reactions I don't want to be treated differently I did  confide in my bff but honestly it didn't help cause I don't like discussing it with her cause she doesn't understand because she's not going through it but I'm trying one step at a time thank you for responding and your encouraging words you have no idea how much I appreciate it❤

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46 minutes ago, Uhappy1 said:

Thank you and I'm sorry it's bad for you I'm dreading when I have my first outbreak and I'm just trying to take it one day at a time I guess I haven't told my sister's yet I don't know how to I'm scared of there reactions I don't want to be treated differently I did  confide in my bff but honestly it didn't help cause I don't like discussing it with her cause she doesn't understand because she's not going through it but I'm trying one step at a time thank you for responding and your encouraging words you have no idea how much I appreciate it❤

So sorry to hear about you situation. You sound like a strong and beautiful person. Just because you have the virus doesn't mean you will get outbreaks. Some people never get an outbreak and dont even know they are infected. It does help to have a support group to talk through these tough things maybe you can find a therapist. Hang in there you have a lot a living to do and things to accomplish!

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Thank you I'm crossing my fingers then that I'm one of the ones that don't have any because it's alot that I still don't know my Doctor told me a little I was still in shock so it kinda of went through one ear and out the other so I'm kinda embarrassed to ask her again which I know I will have to I know she said I can read up on it on the internet but I also know alot of stuff you read on the internet is not true I honestly don't think being happy is even in the near equation I completely cut off all male contact cause I don't want to explain my situation and it feels like I have a box That's floating in the ocean and in it is all the guys I can talk to because the have the same disease but the rest of the big ocean is all the guys I can't have because i dobt want to take the chance of them getting infected I have so many questions and no answers even on here I'm afraid to ask questions that I need to know and these are people who going through the sametsame thing as me and I kind bring myself to ask I just don't know how I could talk to someone who doesn't have it without feeling more ashamed 

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I think it's important that with tbis time you take care of yourself. Boys and dating will always be there, nows the time you should practice self love and focus on grieving the ordeal you've been through!

Like mountain man said, ptsd comes down like a tone of bricks if you don't address it. When it first hit me I didn't leave the house for a about 4 months. I went to counselling but quickly stopped because I 'felt better'. Fady track to this year; Ifound out I have this and my ptsd hit me harder than the first time! Its been five months since I've even walked into a shopping centre or shop. I barely leave the house, I wish I had of dealt with my demons earlier. You don't need to take to a counselor it can be anyone, but talking does help. Feel free to contact me whenever you need to :longhug:

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Wow I'm so sorry to hear that I don't want to go down that path I'm still getting out going to work and then home and I have noticed I been taking double doses of sleeping pills at night so I don't think about it and it's working and I know talking to someone that knows me will help but I just don't think I'm strong enough just yet for that my sister's know something is wrong and they keep asking so they have randomly been popping up at my house and calling more and that helps it forces me to have to get up and get dress and socialize with them which I'm thankful for cause I found myself seeping into that depressed hole I haven't cried about it in a week does that mean I'm starting to get on the right path

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Keep your head up. You have nothing to be ashamed about. People are ignorant about this virus and make assuptions that are not true. You have a virus that millions of others have in one form or another. My best friend was married to a woman who had HSV2 for 7 years and he never was infected. The dating pool that has HSV is large and diverse. You are not a disease you have a virus that is super common and someone who loves you will see you for who you are not as a virus. In time you will learn to disclose to potential mates. You can have a great dating life again but a little different than before. Keeping a positive spirit and outlook is so important. When you look at yourself look at what makes you beautiful and special. Dont let a microscopic virus run your life. You have been through a lot and life is unfair at times. You will overcome your adversity, you will conqueror your fears. You are not going to let anything stop you from being who you were meant to become. Keep loving yourself because you're worth it!

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Thank you, I completely understand about the sleeping thing. You're alright til you stop moving, I was like that before. I'm sort of glad this happened, the herpes that is. It's made me have to face everything, to deal with it. Just try to spend as much time with people you feel comfortable around; do things that make you happy! If you're unable to talk about the assault with your sister, maybe once you open that door of conversation telling her about the herpes might be a little easier! In you're own time though, this is your journey, where you go from here and what you do is your choice! 

You will find that you can jump around feeling the different stages of grief; its normal to feel one or many differenr feelings at once or to evwn skip some of the stages. Everyone's different when it comes to their process not process is wrong! Again I'm here if you ever need to talk. Take care :)

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@Uhappy1 I also encourage you to change your screen name. I think if you view yourself as un happy you will be. Just a thought. 

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@jpg thank you and my sister's know about the assault they remember how I was acting which is why there concerned because they see the same signs maybe I'll have a couple drinks and work up the courage to blurt it out and hope they never bring it up again and back off

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@Seeker1960 actually my name was pose to be Unhappy1 but somehow I forgot the N lol so I just left it a Uhappy1

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Thank all you for the words of wisdom I really need to kick this pity party going in my head out I know eventually I'll get to be in a better place I'm just glad I have somewhere to go to to vent and wonderful people that know exactly what I'm going through and that care enough to try to offer advice and support so from the bottom of my heart I just want to say THANK YOU❤❤❤

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