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Brokengrace

75% off Damaged Good- Can I find a quality mate now that I have HSV2?

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    I'm a 42 year mulatto female. I'm a professional woman and extremely ambitious. I'm tooting my own horn but am an attractive woman. I feel like my value has gone down. 

    The person that has done this to me wasnt even worth it!  He since turn his back on me so I meant nothing from the jump! How can you ruin peoples lives and just ip and walk away!? Everytime refill the prescription I cry! Every day I think of how cruel a bastard he is..

    I want to expose him but to expose him would embarrass me too.

    How can I move on from this and find someone? I know there are men out there with the same virtous values that this unfortunately,has happened too.  It's selfish women as well as men.

    My spirit is broken..

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    Not funny but I said the same thing to a friend: "I feel like my spirit is broken." I am 64 and was diagnosed by a blood test two months ago after negative STD tests my whole life.  I don't even know where I got this!. Have had an amazing life with love and intimacy. I am struggling as I imagine growing old alone. 

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    Sounds like it is a big surprise, do you have the exact test you had and the results? Is type 1 or 2 your concern?

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    If its any help, not a day goes by without wishing that I got this a little bit later so I could live out all my 20s and my early 30s without it. The golden years of free dating. Then again there are people who catch this long before their 20th birthday so hey at least I got to live free a little bit, not everyone has that luxory.
    One of the negative sides of this free dating culture that the world is moving into (less monogamous) is that catching GHSV at some point in your life is more likely than not assuming that you play that game. Another sad truth is that even if you have no intention or interest of multiple sexual partners in your life and prefer to monogamous, the problem is that others may not have chosen to live their lives like that.

    Either way if he gave this knowingly to you and then just left that is indeed brutal.
    Just out of curiousity, have you read any studies on HSV 2 prevalence among women above 40? I´ve seen a couple of them, in some South American countries they measure it as high as 60%, in America I would imagine its around 35-40%+ for that age group. You are not alone, problem is that most of the others dont have any idea that they have it is quite lonely ;/.

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    Hi, 

    @Divon, @WilsoInAus,@emma rose

    I think it could hope for us! I never in a million years thought something like this would happen to me. I have fear of being alone as well! Who in their right mind would except me and wanna break out in sores too? It could be a decent man out there that unfortunately, the same things has happened too. He could be wondering and thinking the same. 

    How could we even find each other?? It's such a kept secret because of the stigma. No one whats the embarrassment or rejection.  The person that give it to me...has gone on with his life and will continue to infect other women. He is enjoying his life, while mine is forever changed! No remorse...

    @Divon, No, i didn't read the studies. Yes, I feel very betrayed!! I was loyal thinking it was a possibility I could of had a life with this person. I treated him very well. He only wanted a playmate. He told me I wasn't his preference anyway. How cruel!! I meant nothing! How him around my family. He prefers more shapely women he said.....he can infect them too. I wish had of known this before

    He only called me during the intial stages of the infection maybe out of fear I would out him. After, time has past never heard from him again. That's not normally how you treat someone you care about and especially if you spent lots of time with them.

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    Have you tried the secret fb H groups? Theres more than a hundred groups some with thousands of people! Ive been there ,but understand this is your beginning not your ending. Theres also one for people of color. 

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    Hi I’m 42 also and newly diagnosed a month ago. I’ve bust my butt to get this far in life being in a great career, homeowner, etc. This diagnosis has caused me to pause in the way i used to think when it comes to dating now. You have no other choice really but to modify your thought process. My plan is to take a break from relationships to educate myself on this virus and how it affects my body. I truly believe that the man for you will accept you for YOU..virus and all!!  :yep:

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    @Cocovixen19, I do know how to find the secret group. I'm just afraid someone will find me. How do you find the groups? 

    Did know there is one for people of color.

    @NtgivnUP, thank you! I hope so....

    The person that did too me...hasn't not looked back. It was intentionAL. He didn't want me...

    Crazy bc I could of been with someone with real intensions.

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    hello my sisters..I was 45 when I was diagnosed. I had just gotten divorced a year before from a 20 year unhappy marriage. I was back in school, lost twenty pounds and thought my life was getting back on track. I was hopeful about my degree and my career and also about maybe finding someone in my life...ya I got that phone call from my ex husband during my final exam week senior year...couple weeks before I was supposed to graduate. Felt like my entire world came crashing down around me..

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    well I cannot say this for certain since neither of us were virgins when we wed back in 92

    I can say that I was faithful during my marriage. He did not find out until his new wife had her first outbreak

    and they both got tested

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    @Brokengrace The majority of people using the secret groups on FB make different profiles not using their full names or other identifying factors for the exact reasons you are concerned about. The people who run them are very aware of this and don't bat an eye at it.

    JBinATL can get you into Swirls, which is one of the largest secret groups if you message him.

    P.S. You are in no way less than or broken goods. You are still the amazing person you were before HSV and will remain that person after it.

    Edited by WannaCry

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    @WannaCry, ok. I joined one it's OK... I only read the feeds. I don't really interact with anyone.

    My spirits are really down today! I don't know what hurts more...the fact this guy infected me or he never wanted me from the beginning. I wasted all those months on a "fucked boy" !  He just walked away as if I'm nothing.

    I feel like he destroyed me and he goes on and has another relationship. I left with nothing! I was lonely before now I even more lonely. I'm constantly on pins and needles. Just not a good feeling.

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