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candy100

I don't want to have sex

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candy100

Does anyone else feel like this. I was diagnosed with genital herpes in early September. The man I'm dealing with knows about my condition but he doesn't have it. Every time he tries to get intimate with me I clam up. It's like I have no desire to be intimate anymore and I used to have a high sex drive.:confused:

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MsLucy

Once you get over the initial fears and doubt, you should come around. I was diagnosed last spring, and for a little while things were kind of tentative, but it's all good now. Sex is as good as it ever was, and that's pretty damn good.

Apparently, your boyfriend stills sees you as an attractive sexual being. Try to see yourself that way, too. Try some pretty (sexy) lingerie, or maybe candles, bubble bath, sensual music... whatever does it for you. Have a few drinks... or something else to lighten up those inhibitions. Most importantly, try to see yourself through his eyes. He desires you... not someone else, but YOU. That should tell you something. ;-)

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luca

I know how you feel. When i'm around my freinds that know I have GHSV I feel gross cause I think they think i'm gross, even though they have been very supportive and ask me questions about spreading the virus. I felt less attractive around my ex-gf and she has it too.

Once you get used to having it I think you will feel sexy again and want to do all the things you used to.

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okokokok

I have struggled with this same exact thing. In getting down to why I feel this way there are three core reasons:

1) We know how hard this is on us and we don't want someone we care about going through the same thing.

2) We have a negative image of our sexual self and this causes a lower sex drive.

3) And maybe most importantly; if we did give this to someone else even if they knew we might feel like we have a moral obligation to spend our lives with that person because we wouldn't want them to be single going through what we went through; so fear of our own commitment to that person.

Anyhow, you are not alone, most of us have/had the same feelings at some point. Best of luck!

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livingdaybyday

I felt the same way when i was first dx. The thing you have to remeber is that you are no different than you used to be. Youre still the same person, yeah maybe you have to be a bit more careful but if you have someone that knows and still wants to be with you, then by all means go for it. They seem to know their risks (or you could explain it to them) but they want YOU! Youre still that same sexy self you were pre infection so just go for it :)

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Mulatta

i still feel like this, well sort of, i've had since april 25, 2007 and my feelings towards sex have just decreased entirely to nothing. In the past months i just don't want sex as much as i use to. i notice i've always been like this, in every relationship, like after almost a year, i only like to have have sex if i want once a month, but b/c of my partner i give in, just to satisfy his needs, and hope he'll leave me alone for awhile but it doesn't help. he knows i have herpes, and has decided to stay with me. which is good.

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nshock1

dealing with sex

I have been intimate once since I've found out that I have herpes. It was hard. Although he made it easy for me, it was hard for me to make the first move. I couldn't stop thinking about if I would possibly transmit the virus or if he even wanted me in that way anymore. I can only say that it is hard. I know that I haven't been much help, but I wanted to let you know that you are not the only one experiencing all of the thoughts that you are having. It's a touch battle, but I know that you will get through it in time.

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annyi

I think the big problem is this diagnose is still new, you still have a lot of uncertainty, you have doubts about what you should do, how big a risk invovled, your own pain and discomfort...

I ensure you, once you keep getting all your questions about herpes resolved, get the recurrance under control, let the skin recovered, you will feel alive again. Just learn and take slow steps. Try to fool around with panty on if it makes you feel safer. ;) We are all from there!

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blue57

I didn't think that I would ever want to have sex again. I felt so "dirty" and ashamed that I didn't even want my bf to touch me, especially while I was having the ob. But I'm starting to feel like things are getting back to normal and while it was a little awkward at first I think we can have a normal sex life. I have to keep reminding myself not to let those negative thoughts and feelings get in the way of the love that he has for me.

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