Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group

I have herpes, my bf does not.

Recommended Posts


I’m a 24 year old gay male. I was diagnosed in May. I just got back into the dating scene and the guy that I’m seeing at the moment doesn’t have herpes. I do. He’s my first real “love” interest with me having this affliction. We haven’t done anything but mess around as safely as I can; there has been no direct contact at all. He did know I have herpes before we ever even kissed and he said he’s ok with it but I just feel horrible. I’m not certain if I want to spend the rest of my life with him or not because we just started talking/dating but the prospect of giving him herpes is killing me. Sex is/was the way I usually could tell if I wanted to keep someone around. The idea of possibly leading him on and then dumping him after giving him herpes makes me want to cry... He’s a good guy and doesn’t deserve that.

I guess I’m just posting this to ask for advice. I know I can just go though life fearing I’d give everyone this or I’ll never truly connect with someone but it’s just hard. I truly care about others. 

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

There are some very good pamphlets about transmission risks. While they talk about heterosexual couples, the stats would work as well for gay men I think. H.erpes O.pportunity has put them out for free on the internet. They contain information from a multi year discordant couple study that Valtrex's maker did.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now


Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.