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I have herpes, my bf does not.


ThatOneGuyWho

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I’m a 24 year old gay male. I was diagnosed in May. I just got back into the dating scene and the guy that I’m seeing at the moment doesn’t have herpes. I do. He’s my first real “love” interest with me having this affliction. We haven’t done anything but mess around as safely as I can; there has been no direct contact at all. He did know I have herpes before we ever even kissed and he said he’s ok with it but I just feel horrible. I’m not certain if I want to spend the rest of my life with him or not because we just started talking/dating but the prospect of giving him herpes is killing me. Sex is/was the way I usually could tell if I wanted to keep someone around. The idea of possibly leading him on and then dumping him after giving him herpes makes me want to cry... He’s a good guy and doesn’t deserve that.

I guess I’m just posting this to ask for advice. I know I can just go though life fearing I’d give everyone this or I’ll never truly connect with someone but it’s just hard. I truly care about others. 

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There are some very good pamphlets about transmission risks. While they talk about heterosexual couples, the stats would work as well for gay men I think. H.erpes O.pportunity has put them out for free on the internet. They contain information from a multi year discordant couple study that Valtrex's maker did.

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    • JDMT_176
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