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Hi! Me again, I wanted to ask a few more questions and hope you take the time to read and help me.
So Ive been sleeping with the same boy since September. He’s the only boy I’ve ever had unprotected sex with, I went to get checked and I’m clear for everything but herpes as it is not in the regular check. Once I found this out I then developed this obsession, I would spend at least four hours a day looking at photos online and my vagina, comparing my vagina to anything, with any spot I had, any piece of dry skin, any itch, I immediately thought it was down to that.
I’ve had a doctor tell me I’ve convinced myself I have it even though there’s nothing wrong and even considered I should speak to a psychologist (bad I know)
I have had the doctors check photos (due to covid) at least 10 times now and they’ve all given me explanations (fordyce spots, heat rash, etc) but I can’t seem to stop worrying.
We’ve not had sex since November and I’m only panicking about every little thing since February because I noticed a patch of skin which ended up being decoloration.
None of the stuff I’ve had have never looked like blisters but then again sometimes this happens.
I recently made myself so ill with stress, I collapsed and spent the day in A&E, I got loads of tests done and they found no infection in my blood (which is a good sign right?). He told me there was no elevated white blood cells and everything looked healthy.
The most recent I’ve had red around my vagina, sometimes it’s like dry skin, the doctors are testing for bacterial or fungal infections and if it’s unknown I’m getting a referral to a gynaecologist. I’ve swabbed the area and get back my results on Friday or Monday.
but again they told me it does not look like herpes or anything to be concerned about.
do you think this is a psychological thing? Am I stressing myself out about nothing? The doctors have told me I’ve nothing to worry about but I have severe anxiety so it’s all I do lol. Please give me your opinions
note the boy I’m with has also been tested and was negative for everything. He’s not my boyfriend yet which is why I don’t want to talk to him about this, which is why I’m here, I’m suppose to see him Sunday, but I wanted you guys opinion first!
the only symptoms I’ve really had is tingling, but I’ve read that could be due to stress. I’ve had back pain but I always have that. No swollen lypo glands, no ulcers or blisters, I’m itchy now and again but it’s usually after I’ve been working and sweating.
PLEASE HELP ME
On Feb 10, I slept with somebody new. I specifically asked him if he had been tested for HSV and HIV via blood test. He told me he had just been tested two months ago and everything was negative and he hadn’t slept with anybody in a year. He either lied to me about being tested or lied about his status. I believe he knew he had HSV2, was not taking antivirals, and didn’t care if he infected me. Now he is using it to make me feel like I HAVE to stay with him because we both have this. And he is minimizing it.
I am in pain, depressed, having suicidal thoughts (don’t think I’d act on them), and feeling hopeless. I have nerve pain all over my genitals, my lower back, my butt, back of my legs. It’s a constant pain and burning. I’m also bleeding as if I’m on a light period! ITS AWFUL! I don’t understand why anybody minimizes this!!! INFORMED CONSENT IS SO IMPORTANT! I feel violated! I’m so angry
By Little Star
I was watching a documentary online the other day about one of the busiest STD clinic in London UK, there wasn’t even one mention of the word herpes, not once. I can understand why people dont want to come forward and admit that they have the virus but as it was almost like it didn’t even exist, they talked about every other STD apart from herpes, I mean wtf! This virus is suppose to be rife but it never gets mentioned in tv dramas, films, anything here in the UK.
How can this be? How does a virus that turns your normal daily life into an absolute living hell overnight not even get a mention? How do people like me end up in a situation where a couple of years ago you were fine but today I feel so depressed I can’t even get out of bed and face the day. Had someone told me about this virus, how it’s transmitted and what it’s really like to live with I’m sure I wouldn’t even be in this situation but nobody did and it feels like nodbody cares either.
This is a heartbreaking, devastating illness to have to live with and I find it astonishing that even today nobody really acknowledges the scale of the problem.
“I was tested, I’m clean,” he said on the phone
I said “Are you sure?” I didn’t like his tone
Can I see your results, in plain black and white?
Cause something feels off, I know it’s not right
“My blood tests all negative, I’m in the clear”,
I said “Where is HSV bloods, cause I don’t see it here?”
We both seemed confused, and picked up the phone
It’s not included in the panel? How should we have known?
Did I give it to him? Did he give it to me?
The CDC doesn’t test for herpes? HOW COULD THIS BE?
Did he cheat? Was it dormant? Did I pass on a disease?
No answers from lab coats to put me at ease
No bedside manner, or kindness in their voice
They decide what to test, what about our choice?
I have to beg and to plead to pay for a test?
Because knowing my own status will cause me more stress?
Is this all a joke? Some kind of enigma?
For a medical community to promote this kind of stigma?
“We don’t think the test will change a damn thing”
How about the psycological pain it will inevitably bring?
“We therefore encourage doctors not to run the test”
So let the poor symptomatics deal with the mess?
“Ignorance is bliss, so it’s better to not know”
And for everyone else, you reap what you sow?
“It’s a harmless skin condition,” they’ll tell you I’m sure
But let’s not test or talk about it, and not look for the cure
False positives, the stigma, and lies all around
A few examples as to why the CDC let’s us all down
DEATH TO THE CDC fuck it right up the ass
Include Hsv in the tests, we all may not pass
And that’s perfectly fine let’s talk about it more
Let’s normalize the STI, and the common cold sore.
I want to die but i am afraid since i got herpes what shoulf i do friends