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Couple of questions

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so ive been seeing this guy recently.. and things are getting pretty serious im starting to really like him.. i told him about having hsv1 and i told him i really didnt want to have sex with him because i was afraid of giving it to him... but he talked to me about it.. said he didnt care.. and after a few weeks told me that he really still wanted to have sex with me..

so i guess i just need some advice on what i should do

i really like him... but things dont always last forever..

i dont want him to have to go through what i had to go through


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there is a reason

tough choice

you said you have hsv1, is it genital? I assume so, since you are concerned about sex. From your post, you really seem to have reservations about sex. I always think if there are any reservations it is best to wait. Have you been together long? Do you have other reasons to be concerned about your relationship? If you decide to go ahead, your only hope would be a condom. Does he know that will not necessarily protect him? On another line of thinking, are you certain he has not been exposed to hsv1? He may have been and may have antibodies and he may not be as susceptible as most others. Not sure this would be protection in the genital area, but it may make his experience less severe if he were to contract it there. Again no guarantees though. Hope some of this helped.

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    • StayingUpbeat
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    • Cas9
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    • Pitchbird
      It may be small scale but at least it shows me that I'm by far not the only one who isn't willing to disclose to casual partners anymore. The damage for oneself is too high to make it worth it imho: - seduction becomes difficult as guy if they know in advance - you're very likely to become a gossip object if it happens within your social circle - you get abandoned before it even starts to get intense - you end up lonely and depressed after being abandoned for such a reason Still, that doesn't answer the question if it's better to disclose properly out of nowhere during the relationship or wait for the symptoms to appear and pretend to be surprised and fake the doctor diagnosis afterwards. At the moment I think the true disclosure would be less likely to be accepted by the partner, but in case it works it would feel better in the end because there's less of a secret kept in the long run... and of course there's lower moral burden when disclosing earlier because you're handing over responsibility of risk exposure to the partner.
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