So ive tested negative for most std's but my doctor never gives me the viral load count?... Is this because im testing negative??.. How can i contract something if its undetectable?? Does that mean it's gone??
So I have a question. I was diagnosed almost 7 years ago. I am getting ready to enter the dating scene so I had a disclosure conversation with my OBGYN and my general MD. Their responses were very different and I wanted to share them to get an opinion. (Note: My infection came from a boyfriend that was infected a few months prior and was not aware so I was infected when he was most contagious in the first year )
My OBGYN said with the length of infection my virus is very weak due to my antibodies. He said being a female and transmitting to a male is low anyway (4% per year) and because I am very healthy, do natural antivirals, work out, eating habits are impeccable, and my outbreaks are few and far between and my last one was gone in less than 5 days from start to finish... He believes me under that 4% per year. He stated he has researched it, and obviously has patients that have it so he sees things first hand....and he stated at this point disclosure is up to me. He said in his professional experience the percentage of risk at this point is so low that it does not warrant the stress it may cause to the relationship to disclose. He said though you will test positive for your entire life, it is very weak after 2 years of infection. There in an ER doctor that is HSV2 negative and dated a nurse that was HSV2 positive and she stressed telling him....when she finally told him he said "Herpes? All this stress over herpes? That is nothing." And went on about their relationship normally. He said the same thing, she had the infection for over 5 years so the virus was weak. I am also in my early forties. He said the chances of me meeting someone that already has it (even if they are unaware) is very high. And if I tell them they may get a false negative (if they have had no BOs to develope antibodies and the virus has been dormant) they may believe I infected them later even though that was not the case. He said what bothers him the most is the stigma attached to it. He said more people have it than what the statistics say because 80% are silent carriers and most places do not test for it under normal STD testing so they do not even know. He stated most transmissions happen within the first year of infection when the virus is very active. He tells patients to do what they feel comfortable doing, but he said disclosure at this point is more stress than it is worth on both partners. He said he has patients that are HSV2 positive and have not passed it to their negative partners and they do not practice safe sex (only if predome symptoms or soon after an outbreak). He said he is aware a lot of doctors will disagree based on research, but he stated he bases his professional opinion on being an OBGYN for over 30 years and first hand experience.
My regular MD had a different approach and though he was kind to me, I didn't even want to date after talking to him. He made it sound like I am more contagious than a room full of people with the flu. He said I must always use protection and I am always shedding. According to my OBGYN this is the information that is not based on true life facts and adds to the stigma.
I am at such a cross roads. Even the medical community is at odds. My best friend told me to listen to my OBGYN as his living is based on STDs, vaginas and all that surrounding it. She said his info is not only based on studies, but what he has seen in true life for over 30 years.
I will ill be honest, I would want to disclose to a partner....but I agree about the stress thing. I see stories on here that make me sad....people wearing boxers during sex, taking a butt load of antivirals before hand...talk about taking away the intamacy. And though I dislike having the virus, there is a man in my life that if I heard he was HSV2 positive (and I wasn't) I would risk it because to me it is nothing more than a minor skin irritation that is not worth walking away from something that could be the greatest thing in my life....it is the STIGMA of it not the actual infection. And if I had a >4% of getting something that wasn't going to kill me (like HIV, Hepititis) I don't think I would want to know because the stress introduced.
Comments, opinions, advise are very much welcomed
So, I found some one who was willing to have sex with me .( He doesn't have HSV2 or 1. ) I hadn' t had sex for over 7 months.
I am really disappointed. It did not go well. The condoms didn't make it any safer. They kept falling off or slipping down, Its just not safe sex at all. Plus, He couldn't stay erect. He couldn't feel anything. I couldn't feel anything... Maybe from the lubrication I had to use so I wasn't rubbed raw to cause an outbreak. So we had to stop every time. We tried for 4 days. It just wouldn't work.
The last day he thought it was Ok to have anal unprotected and just did it. I didn't stop him. I thought he knew it wasn't safe but didn't care. ( so that was the only good sex we had)
The next day he said he thought it was safe and I had to tell him it wasn't.
There is no point to have sex anymore if I can't get oral either. I tried a barrier over and it was pointless and I felt nothing.
And the whole 4 days I was obsessing and checking my vagina to make sure I didn't have any Obs to infect this guy, And everyday , even while taking AVS, i still "felt" sensations or something that is herpes-like, like I do every day. I had what turned out to be an ingrown hair that I wasn't sure about either .So 2 of the days I had to explain to him I wasn't quite sure and I handed him latex gloves.
Total disaster. Pointless. pointless to risk his health for unfulfilling half-real sex
He was a good sport though. He didn't get so scared. He was willing to try at least. He trusted me to know. But honestly, I don't see how I can be sure and know. I don't know when I am getting an oB- cuz everyday I have some issue that makes me think I am getting one.
every. damn. day.
Fuck this shit. I just want to cry and die. I want my old life back before this disease.
I know the sex would have been awesome this past weekend if not for HSV.
Going on 11 weeks of back to back obs. I was diagnosed with HSV2 but it is on the palm of my hand. I just now started taking daily antivirals. Im nervous about taking the meds and any side effects I could get from taking them daily, also wondering if my body will become immune to them?
Is it normal to have so many outbreaks?
I’ve never had an ob on my genitals but I feel like I would know if I ever had right? I’m scared because my dr told me I didn’t need to tell my sexual partners and didn’t need to worry about using condoms because the ob is on my hand and I always keep it covered. Last night I started freaking out about the possibility of having it on my Genitals and wondering if I have passed it to my current partner and I’m freaking out about having to tell him. Can anyone help? I have a doctors appointment next week so I’m stuck waiting and stressing until then.
Im avoiding caffeine and I’m taking lysine plus a million other vitamins. What are common triggers that you all deal with? I’m staring to think I’m having so many long lasting ob’s because I’m in the sun all the time? How does that even trigger the ob?
There is lots of info on the web about how HSV2 can be transmitted. There's so much, but it isn't all very specific so it's been very hard to determine with my particular case. I was diagnosed 7 years ago. Had it, took meds, was gone in a few days. My doc even told me I wouldn't have to worry about it again. And I haven't, totally in the back of my mind. Then a few months ago, my immune system was compromised due to a kidney infection and I started seeing something downstairs that I didn't recognize. Here it was again!!!! Seven years later!!! I had honestly forgotten about it. I'm here because I wanted to know if anyone has any info/experience with breakouts as infrequent as mine have been (so far, at least). I'm Female, and had to disclose this to a Male partner. He did not take it well. We have never been intimate anywhere near the time of either my outbreaks (last time was Feb, and I didn't know him my initial OB). And we had unprotected sex once last Fall. I disclosed to him this week because we were going to become sexual again and with my OB this April, I wanted him to know. Lots of info says there is a 4% chance of it being spread F to M with barrier and no meds, but I just don't know how much that relates to someone who has had two outbreaks in 7 years. Please help with any advice or links!!!!
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