Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group
Sign in to follow this  
blue57

My bf won't get tested

Recommended Posts

blue57

I was recently diagnosed with HSV2. I'm sure that I got it from my cheating ex. Unfortunatley I didn't have an ob until a couple of months after starting a new relationship. I've tried to gently encourage my bf to get tested but he's uncomfortable talking about it and I don't want to push and scare him. Even though I would feel horrible if I did give this to him I'd still like to know for sure. Any suggestions on what I can do?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Caliope

When I first got together with my bf we discussed sti's and he told me he was negative for them and that he had regular screening. Now that it has been almost 3 years I know that he is very honest and knowledgeable about this. But. . . right after our first sexual contact I had an ob. I ran to the dr and tested negative and, me not being very knowledgeable thought cool nothing to worry over. A month or so later my bf came to me and was very upset over a heat rash he was experiencing. He went and had himself tested for hsv and it was negative. Again a sigh of relief for both.

2 years later I test positive for hsv. He and I freak but he won't get tested again. I know he has never cheated on me. We work through our fears and we still have sex the same as we ever did except now that I know what an ob is I am more careful.

Where am I going with this? If I have hsv so might my bf as so much time has passed and the opportunity exists for him to have it too. Why should I push it if it might upset him? Why should it make a difference if we are monogamous? Maybe he has it and maybe he doesn't and he knows I do so the risk is real but he obviously doesn't want to make it a big deal. If we stay together for the rest of our lives this doesn't effect our relationship except for the frequency of sexual contact.

Do you want him to get tested for his edification or for your own? Perhaps he is happier not knowing and if you are okay with this does it harm your relationship?

Not worrying about the effects of hsv on a relationship is almost heaven when it means that your partner isn't letting this stand in the way of what you have together. This is exactly what so many single hsv sufferers are looking for: Unconditional Acceptance and the absence of blame.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
blue57

I guess it was more for me to know than anything else. So far he seems pretty comfortable with everything so it's been more of an incovenience than anything else. As a matter of fact he's taken the news better than I have. I'm still trying to deal with how I feel about haveing it. Now that the ob is over I've only just begun to almost feel normal. I suppose if he's fine with not knowing then I'll just leave it at that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
      69,563
    • Total Posts
      468,599
  • Posts

    • WilsoInAus
      @Talx2520 based on what you say, Im not sure the odds exceed 50/50 that you have genital herpes. If you take a random genital infection from vaginal sex then about 95% of the time it’s HSV-2. How long after the episode was the blood test?
    • Talx2520
      Thanks for the response! My first suspected outbreak was definitely painful. Started with what felt like a UTI, then noticed what looked like ulcers starting 1.5 days after unprotected sex. Never scabbed over, but I had a horrible itch that lasted 2  weeks (didn't feel like yeast). Given my symptoms, I've pretty sure its genital herpes, but I mean it could have been some allergy (I had extremely rough intercourse in the middle of the wilderness, sorry if that is tmi lol and maybe naive of me to think it was a weird plant). Both my mom, sister, and grandma get coldsores and I feel like i've totally shared drinks with them even during their outbreaks. Can't remember if I ever had one though. I am not totally sure how I should go about disclosing in general. Should I mention I had a full panel and hsv-1 came up positive and that I am not sure where it is? I really wish I had just gotten it swabbed, but couldn't afford it without insurance at the time. I was under the impression that if it was herpes, it would come back and I could get it swabbed, but I realize now that with HSV-1 that isnt always the case. 
    • WilsoInAus
      @viralfrog given your symptoms do not react to any known antiviral doesn thatvsuggest these are not herpes lesion?  Lets apply Occam’s razor here.
    • viralfrog
      @Lulupazoola I have tried with a straw but it's difficult to create enough suction if the straw is deep enough in your throat  After drinking 6g from a shotglass I immediately drink a glass of water to dilute it down the throat.  Little update: blisters, redness and lethargy are back today. I'm still off the antivirals completely and my outbreaks are not any worse than usual for now. That's interesting, it seems I don't react at all to Acyclovir.   
    • viralfrog
      Technically speaking, someone with a strong immune system could have a mild initial outbreak. Normally, they would remain mild and decrease over time. However, if you put yourself in a situation later that gives a big hit to your immune system (e.g. binge drinking, other illness, no sleep etc.) you could have a bigger outbreak as a result. 
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.