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feelingbetrayed

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feelingbetrayed

Hi. I am new here. I think I may have herpes. I am feeling very betrayed (hence the name), depressed, hurt, etc. Here is my story: I recently went through a divorce and have done some dating since then. Met this guy I thought I liked. We ended up having sex, he asked me toget an HIV test, which came back negative. We never really talked about other diseases-I guess I was too trusting and just thought that since he is a nurse and we had the HIV talk that things were ok. The other day I noticed a bump down there and then some more. I went to his apt. that night, but was afraid to say anything. When I left the next morning, I took a little look in his backpack while he was still asleep. I saw a container of blue pills, but the prescription title was torn off. I looked at the pills and noticed the number 400 on one side and forget what was on the other. I looked those up online, and sure enough, I think they are a drug to prevent herpes outbreaks-the V one- I cannot think of the name off hand. I called him and told him about the bumps. He did not seem too concerned, did not even mention the H-word. Then I did some research and all the symptoms I am having seem to point to that. I keep calling him and leaving message and he did call back but I was too pissed off to answer. I am taking the day off tomorrow so I can go tp the doctor. I just feel awful about this. I feel like I will never be able to have a relationship again. Who will want to be with me? It is so embarrassing! I hate this and am so scared about going to the doctor. I am also pissed off at him if he continues to lie about it! I am going to confront him about the pills tomorrow!

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feelingbetrayed

actually i think the medicine i found may have been the A one and not valtrex.

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feelingbetrayed

I am sorry i am writing more but I feel so awful about this. i am so upset right now!

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catiesmom

It's logical that you would feel betrayed if he knows about his virus and didn't tell you. However, this is not the end of your dating life -- there are plenty of people on this site who have found partners who care about them and love them despite having HSV. And, now you have the knowledge to pass on to your partners so you never take the chance that you infect them the way this guy has infected you. Maybe he thought taking Valtrex or Acyclovir (i think that's who you spell them) would keep him from being able to pass it, but we know that just REDUCES your chances, doesn't eliminate them. There are things you can do to further reduce your chances of transmission, but the first step is knowing those precations need to be taken! He is very much in the wrong for not telling you what chance you were taking, and i would be upset too!!!

Please let us know how it all goes.

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1hopnot

Well, Valtrex pills are blue. Hes so wrong for that omg! I cant believe that. Im sorry. I hope you are ok, let us know. You can SUE him you know. Cant you? Because he knew and did not tell you.

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feelingbetrayed

I went to the docor-well just Patient First, and the doctor agreed with me by her first glance about what it is. I got a blood test and she just gave me an antibiotic and some cream until we find out if the test is positive. So I confronted the guy about the pills and he is totally denying that they are for treating herpes. he said they were for congestion, but I did my research and I cannot find a blue oblong pill that has 400 on one side that is used to treat congestion. he said it is gualesfine or however you spell it. I told him I wanted to know the numbers on the other side of the pill and he said they were all gone. I totally do not believe this because what I saw was a big bottle of lots of pills-like 30 or so and there he NO way he could have taken those in 2 days. He said he takes them like four times a day for congestion but when i have been around him for a day I have not seen that and I told him that. I totally think he is lying to me! I guess I will never know. If I do get diagnosed I am goign to make an appointment with my gynecologist so I can get the facts. Those people at walk in places like Patient First kind of want you in and out. They were nice, of course I was crying.... I just am so pissed at this guy. I just know he is lying! Does he think I am an idiot?

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feelingbetrayed

how can i sue him? i have never heard of that. he is totally denying it! i wish i could get his prescription history...

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feelingbetrayed

i just emailed him a link of the pills that i think he has/had. i swear it looks just like what he had and was to treat herpes. i am so pissed at him! he continues to deny it...

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catiesmom

He might be a lost cause. Getting him to admit it, anyway, is not going to change things. There's a forum on here about the law regarding herpes transmission. You may be able to get some insight from that.

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Please be careful believing everything your OB says as well. Mine told me i could have only gotten genital herpes from genital-to-genital contact, but i got it through oral and i know it can be transmitted this way. Apparently she did not. Doctors have so many things to study, this doesn't seem to be one of them.

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feelingbetrayed

Thanks. I know he may be a lost cause. It just pisses me off because at the beginning of our relationship he told me he had trust issues with women and he was having a hard time trusting me about stuff and now look at him! I guess I will just have to wait until Friday for my results, although I am almost positive it is what I have. I guess it my mind that is what I think. It is just hard for my mind NOT to think that just yet. I am trying to prepare myself. I feel like I need to tell someone (like a friend) but am embarrassed to.

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blue57

I'm so sorry about your situation. I hope that your tests come back negative. I know how it is waiting with your mind wandering and thinking the worst. Just remember you've got plenty of people here to talk to who can all relate. I know I would not make it through this without the help of people on this site.

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