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Jazzyy

Herpes and casual sex...

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Jazzyy

Let me make it simple and honest, I miss casual sex. Anyone have experience in having casual partners and having gen herpes? Shed some light on me! 

I was diagnosed in November (3 months ago) by someone I had been dating for 4 months (didn’t disclose), I already had trust issues caused by cheating and such, but this one took the cake for trust issues. He knew he had it but he didn’t think it was a big deal, since it was oral herpes he claimed it wasn’t “real herpes” :unamused:  Needless to say, I don’t want a relationship right now. I know it’s hard enough to find someone to be real and honest and who truly likes you WITHOUT herpes, and now that I have it, I’m convinced it’s impossible. And I’ve heard the “if he truly cares about you he won’t care about your hsv Status” but am I terrible for just wanting sex? Good old fun Without all the relationship struggles? 

Heres my thought, according to the stats... I should know WAY more people with herpes. Where are they?! I wouldn’t want to infect anyone, it’s a terrible feeling.. I’m getting used to it... and as soon as I can have sex again I can feel normal! Sounds bad, but I don’t want to be shunned for being in my 20s with a healthy appetite. :information_desk_person:

Edited by Jazzyy
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Thatguy604

Yeah same here I wish I had caught is later in life...not now. No you aren't terrible for wanting casual sex. I'd be having a lot more of it if I didn't have this myself ¬¬  Anyways, as long as the person knows and is given the choice like many of us weren't, then why not? I'm sure it wouldn't be hard to find a guy who would be willing to either. If you are scared of passing it, there are always herpes dating sites you may be able to find some one on or local herpe meet up groups.  Hope you fulfill your appetite :P

Edited by Thatguy604

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Nightmare7575

That have a category on here [location] I think its called, put what you are looking for on there,why not . I am also with Thatguy604 use those dating sites . I keep using him name,but Warrior king on here who has had it for 40 years,says he has had lots of sex with no problems through the years. I have a female friend who has HSV1 and she says ,she has had no problem getting guys and she has it right on her profile on OK cupid.I was hoping for a lot of casual sex after being married for years[lol],I looked at one site and there are all kinds of women and I hoping many have your same attitude towards sex[lol] good luck and go get busy[lol] 

Thatguy604 ,not sure how old you are,but I am 55 and I wish I could have waited until I was 63 or 73[lol].

Edited by Nightmare7575

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Divon

Haha sux to be single with herpes period. I suppose everyone wish they got it from someone who they already decided to spend their life with instead. That would make things easier.

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Nightmare7575
9 hours ago, Divon said:

everyone wish they got it from someone who they already decided to spend their life with instead. That would make things easier.

Well now that you mentioned that, there was just a post from a woman whose soon to be husband got HSV1 from her and he was having problems dealing with it,so I would not say the above either.In the list of things in life that suck, as you get older I would say hope Herpes is one of your biggest sucks as you get older. I would rather have herpes  I could trade it for my ex-wife not having dementia.

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TiramisuTheGOAT

I still have my fun, and don’t let it hinder my sexual appetite. Like the op said, it fucking sucks that I got it now in my 20’s....last year was like the best year I’ve had so far. But life just threw me the right hook from hell and now I just have to deal with it and make it work. *shrugs* 

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valleynovascotia
On 11/02/2018 at 10:23 PM, TiramisuTheGOAT said:

I still have my fun, and don’t let it hinder my sexual appetite. Like the op said, it fucking sucks that I got it now in my 20’s....last year was like the best year I’ve had so far. But life just threw me the right hook from hell and now I just have to deal with it and make it work. *shrugs* 

 

On 11/02/2018 at 10:23 PM, TiramisuTheGOAT said:

I still have my fun, and don’t let it hinder my sexual appetite. Like the op said, it fucking sucks that I got it now in my 20’s....last year was like the best year I’ve had so far. But life just threw me the right hook from hell and now I just have to deal with it and make it work. *shrugs* 

This is what happened too me I always had the worse luck with women then i met my evil giver who tried to get with me for like a year then gives me it and ditches me. Then all these women wanted too date me and i could have lived the life I always dreamed of but it was too late now im stuck with this for life and have to read stuff on here about people saying theres never going to be a cure. 3 years been single with this. I guess it comes down to acceptance or finding someone with it. Im not looking to disclose and date though as iv'e lost all confidence due too negatve past experiences disclosing.

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Nightmare7575

Then get on a Herpes Dating site ,its not over . Do you read all the  stories on here from people who are just looking for somebody to accept them and want  a relationship  or sex.There is a huge dating pool that has this and one of those that liked you may have had it,who knows. I am going to start a file soon,so I have some dates at home [hopefully ,dating sites are crazy] this summer .

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BrazilianSpirit
On 30/01/2018 at 5:36 AM, Jazzyy said:

Let me make it simple and honest, I miss casual sex. Anyone have experience in having casual partners and having gen herpes? Shed some light on me! 

I was diagnosed in November (3 months ago) by someone I had been dating for 4 months (didn’t disclose), I already had trust issues caused by cheating and such, but this one took the cake for trust issues. He knew he had it but he didn’t think it was a big deal, since it was oral herpes he claimed it wasn’t “real herpes” :unamused:  Needless to say, I don’t want a relationship right now. I know it’s hard enough to find someone to be real and honest and who truly likes you WITHOUT herpes, and now that I have it, I’m convinced it’s impossible. And I’ve heard the “if he truly cares about you he won’t care about your hsv Status” but am I terrible for just wanting sex? Good old fun Without all the relationship struggles? 

Heres my thought, according to the stats... I should know WAY more people with herpes. Where are they?! I wouldn’t want to infect anyone, it’s a terrible feeling.. I’m getting used to it... and as soon as I can have sex again I can feel normal! Sounds bad, but I don’t want to be shunned for being in my 20s with a healthy appetite. :information_desk_person:

I was diagnosed in august and I'm in my 20s also. I have OBs every 1,5 months or so, but I still have casual sex! But now, there is one thing essential: CONDOM. I only have sex while using it (and without a OB of course...). I know that is very unlikely I will give herpes to someone in a one night stand so I don't tell. I will tell someone when I start a relationship (that scares me A LOT... afraid of never finding someone that is awesome, intelligent, succsseful and also accepts me...) but, casual sex is easy for me, since I don't have to explain myself. 

 

(BTW, I caught it while having sex with someone I liked... he was a bit older, and asked to not use condom... I let him. And the result...) 

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macho

I am sorry to hear this, don't have any comment nor I am judging you, but the . keyword is protection.

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joeybee

what sucks is that i had casual sex with a friend and she had herpes.  It changed my life.  Kill me.

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WildernessWoman88
On 2/20/2018 at 4:13 PM, BrazilianSpirit said:

But now, there is one thing essential: CONDOM. I only have sex while using it (and without a OB of course...). I know that is very unlikely I will give herpes to someone in a one night stand so I don't tell. 

This is grossly naive of you. I got it from a one night stand and someone stole my right to make a VERY important decision regarding MY health which has now had an incredibly negative impact on the rest of my life, all for one night. 

Don't be that person to someone else. You have no right to make that decision for someone. Condoms do not make you a considerate, responsible H+ carrier. 

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valleynovascotia

Iv'e felt like just dating and not disclosing in the past but I know the guilt from doing it would just consume me so I feel it wouldn't be worth it. I don't want to be like my giver just  a heartless women with no remorse.

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steel_panther
On 2/20/2018 at 4:13 PM, BrazilianSpirit said:

I was diagnosed in august and I'm in my 20s also. I have OBs every 1,5 months or so, but I still have casual sex! But now, there is one thing essential: CONDOM. I only have sex while using it (and without a OB of course...). I know that is very unlikely I will give herpes to someone in a one night stand so I don't tell. I will tell someone when I start a relationship (that scares me A LOT... afraid of never finding someone that is awesome, intelligent, succsseful and also accepts me...) but, casual sex is easy for me, since I don't have to explain myself. 

 

(BTW, I caught it while having sex with someone I liked... he was a bit older, and asked to not use condom... I let him. And the result...) 

I got it and I was using a condom.  I think the best thing to do is, daily anti vitals, and condom use together just to let you know

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BrazilianSpirit
On 5/1/2018 at 1:36 PM, steel_panther said:

I got it and I was using a condom.  I think the best thing to do is, daily anti vitals, and condom use together just to let you know

thanks for the tip. just curious, was your partner having an ob at the time or not?

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steel_panther
On 5/14/2018 at 5:38 PM, BrazilianSpirit said:

thanks for the tip. just curious, was your partner having an ob at the time or not?

cant confirm, one-night stand...

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Free73
Posted (edited)

Casual sex is overrated and it took me contracting herpes to understand that. If I had my time over as a young person, I would focus on dealing with the fears I had about committed relationships and developing real self worth, rather than using casual sex as a form of validation.

Use the virus as a catalys to understand who you are as a person, what your fears are and to make a positive change. When you do that, you will also hopefully realise, as I did, that casual sex is really pretty lame.

 

Edited by Free73

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SillyGirlMel

I had my very first hook-up ever 16days ago, but I’d didnt disclose because I literally only knew him for 4 days.  That was very wrong and selfish on my part.  I’m also in my very early 20s and I made a mistake.  I disclosed to him just yesterday and though he took it well, so far, I felt awful.  I know I would have felt better if I had told him before anything happened.  I believe casual sex is still possible, but be honest.  Don’t put you or your hook-up partner through this, because if he is positive then you don’t even know for sure he got it from you or a previous hook-up.  If he is negative he would have either had a scare and decided he will never hook-up again and never contact you again OR if we have been blessed he will think it’s no big deal and continue being your friend because he is extremely understanding.  That last possible outcome is like a fairytale and highly unlikely.... so I say go for it, have casual sex, but don’t be dishonest the way I was.

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      It doesnt really mean much yet. They still dont know if the herpes is taking advantage of a diseased brain or causing the disease. Furthermore, there is evidence that Alzheimer's might be caused by oral spirochete disease and even Lyme. Many of you could have oral Spirochetes but the Lyme and is less likely. https://globallymealliance.org/pathogen-cause-alzheimers-disease/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5008232/ https://newsblog.drexel.edu/2016/02/10/do-infections-cause-alzheimers-disease/   Of course it could be both! Maybe having hsv-1 and oral spirochetes quadruples the risk.  In my opinion the spirochete theory sounds more likely and its hard to dismiss neurosurgeons and caretakers getting Alzheimers from a disease that was previously thought to be non contagious. I'd worry more about Spirochetes.  
    • Rgs77
      Did ldn work.
    • honkschonks
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    • ill47
      Do you have an APOE4 gene? I do. I also have HSV-2, which so far hasn't been linked to dementia. Itzhaki previously found that cold sores occur more frequently in those who carry a gene variant that confers increased risk of Alzheimer’s called APOE-ε4. "Our theory is that in APOE-ε4 carriers, reactivation is more frequent or more harmful in HSV1-infected brain cells, which as a result accumulate damage that culminates in development of Alzheimer's," she said.

      So basically, if you carry the APOE4 gene and have oral HSV-1, you chances of dementia could be quite high. But if you have APOE4, your chances of dementia were higher already. Look, 80% of the population has HSV-1. 80% of the population does not get dementia. You also seem to skip over the fact that antiviral treatment can reduce the increased chances of dementia to almost nothing. "The striking results include evidence that the risk of senile dementia is much greater in those who are infected with HSV, and that anti-herpes antiviral treatment causes a dramatic decrease in number of those subjects severely affected by HSV1 who later develop dementia," Itzhaki said. The data from Taiwan only applies to the rare severe HSV1 or VZV infections. The next step will be to study dementia rates amongst people with mild HSV1 infections, including herpes labialis or mild genital herpes. "Considering that over 150 publications strongly support an HSV1 role in Alzheimer's, these Taiwan findings greatly justify usage of antiherpes antivirals - which are safe and well-tolerated - to treat Alzheimer's disease,” Itzhaki said."They also incentivize development of an HSV1 vaccine, which would likely be the most effective treatment." I think it behooves you to do your research and actually read the articles you are posting before pulling the alarm and trying to scare people. 
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