Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group
Sign in to follow this  
jermhoop

40 Year Old Single Father of Two Daughters

Recommended Posts

jermhoop

Hi everyone. I'm Jeremy and I'm a single father of two daughters living in Utah and am 40 years old. I kissed a girl on a date a couple months ago and little did I know that she had oral hsv1, though I didn't know what it was at the time. I later saw her and she had a cold sore, which I asked her about. By that time, I had researched what was going on with me as I had my primary outbreak on Jan 1 (what a way to welcome the new year) for about a week.

I know that my two daughters don't have the virus as I've tested negative for it in the past (I tested positive at 1.0 iGG this past week) and my ex-wife is also negative. So I'm pretty concerned about the likelihood I can transmit this to them. I've had 4 or so very minor breakouts since January 1st - a pimple on the lip, mustache area, one small one on my chin. My outbreaks seem to be about once or twice a week and started in early February and are very minor so far, but every few days it feels like there is slight tingling and some pain in my mouth area.

My question is, for my daughters who don't have this virus, can I hug them? How should I cook for them? I am washing my hands regularly and always checking my face... Besides just very careful hygeine, what are the chances I could pass this on to my daughters? It's my primary concern not do to that. Also, the outbreaks are happening regularly and I'm eating pretty healthily. I'm aware of L-Lysine and the arginine ratio of foods. I drink a lot of water, take supplements. I heard over time, the outbreaks become less frequent/severe.

Been having a hard time psychologically with this. I know there's much worse things that can happen, but I'm feeling pretty depressed and can't bear the thought of my daughters getting this (they are 10 and 7).

Edited by jermhoop

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Taintedgirl

Avoid contact during outbreaks, make washing your hands a priority and use Lysol disinfectant spray it kills herpes. Also don’t share utensils or drinking glasses. I’m sorry you’re going through this and it could possibly affect the little women in your life but you’re apart of a great group of people who are here for you every step of the way. Your story is like so many other people here. Hopefully the future has better for us. If you’re that worried maybe incorporate disposable gloves when cooking just to minimize risk. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Cas9
25 minutes ago, jermhoop said:

Hi everyone. I'm Jeremy and I'm a single father of two daughters living in Utah and am 40 years old. I kissed a girl on a date a couple months ago and little did I know that she had oral hsv1, though I didn't know what it was at the time. I later saw her and she had a cold sore, which I asked her about. By that time, I had researched what was going on with me as I had my primary outbreak on Jan 1 (what a way to welcome the new year) for about a week.

I know that my two daughters don't have the virus as I've tested negative for it in the past (I tested positive at 1.0 iGG this past week) and my ex-wife is also negative. So I'm pretty concerned about the likelihood I can transmit this to them. I've had 4 or so very minor breakouts since January 1st - a pimple on the lip, mustache area, one small one on my chin. My outbreaks seem to be about once or twice a week and started in early February and are very minor so far, but every few days it feels like there is slight tingling and some pain in my mouth area.

My question is, for my daughters who don't have this virus, can I hug them? How should I cook for them? I am washing my hands regularly and always checking my face... Besides just very careful hygeine, what are the chances I could pass this on to my daughters? It's my primary concern not do to that. Also, the outbreaks are happening regularly and I'm eating pretty healthily. I'm aware of L-Lysine and the arginine ratio of foods. I drink a lot of water, take supplements. I heard over time, the outbreaks become less frequent/severe.

Been having a hard time psychologically with this. I know there's much worse things that can happen, but I'm feeling pretty depressed and can't bear the thought of my daughters getting this (they are 10 and 7).

Your concerns are way overblown. The location of your ohsv1 is in your face and no where else. The virus resides in the nerve bundle sort of in front of your ears. When it becomes active it travels to the location of your infection; i.e. your mouth area. If you have an active cold sore, then don't kiss your kids, and don't share any items that you were in contact with your lips. By the way, regular soap and water KILLS herpes; i.e. you don't need industrial strength anything.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
jermhoop

Thanks Taintedgirl and Cas9 for your responses. Sounds like just being careful and making sure I practice good hygiene are my best bets. I don't want my kids to be paranoid, but do want them to not contract the virus from me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Cas9
56 minutes ago, jermhoop said:

Thanks Taintedgirl and Cas9 for your responses. Sounds like just being careful and making sure I practice good hygiene are my best bets. I don't want my kids to be paranoid, but do want them to not contract the virus from me.

ohsv1 is so common that if you don't have it you are in the minority. Decades ago, passing this virus was not even given a second thought. I still remember being in first grade and having a fever, and having a cold sore and asking my father what it was. He just smiled and said it's a fever blister. That was 1960. In those days, no one gave a cold sore a second thought. Everyone had it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Spicycupcake

Herpes is spread by the friction of skin to skin contact. Which is why it's transmitted sexually (HSV-2) and via kissing. Although I would definitely avoid kissing your kids during an outbreak, it really is unlikely that you'd transmit it if you gave them a quick kiss. You will not transmit it by hugging them or touching them in any other way.  It's all very nerve-wracking in the beginning and I was just as nervous as a parent. I'd really recommend picking up a copy of Terri Warren's book "The Good News About the Bad News: Herpes - Everything You Need to Know." She is a nurse with a herpes clinic who has been in the field for many years. She knows what she's talking about. I think it will help you feel a lot better about things. It helped me. Best of luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
jermhoop

Thank you Spicycupcake. I will take a look at her book!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

Advertisement

Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • Similar Content

    • Sheena C
      By Sheena C
      Im hsv2 and 1. its been like 18 months since i had a painful outbreak down there. Whyy dont i have sores down there or on my lips ? Is it because i have a healthy immune system that i could only have outbreaks long periods at a time?? 
      And with hsv1 can i still be contagious without a cold sore.. And how?
    • Arrabella
      By Arrabella
      Hello, im new here & ive been diagnosed with herpes 1 on my genitals today. For about 4 days the symptoms were getting worse to the point where i knew i had it. Swollen vagina, lesions that were wet looking & oozing yellow watery fluid. I could hardly walk & still cant. The pain is horrendous. Anyway, to my question. Im very confused, & i know there is no way i can tell who i got it off. After my 4 year relationship, i was saddened & i wanted to do anything to get my mind off him. Less then a year later, i began seeing a guy in march this year. We had a sexual relationship, we had sex, gave each other oral, kissed. ( sorry for the details but its relevant) i only saw him about 6 times in the 3 months we were seeing each other. Anyway, after that ended, i did end up with thrush & bacterial vaginosis. & on and off the opening around my vagina was red and irritatable. I was tested over and over again during the year nothing came up. I began seeing a new guy, who i like very much. So i thought id test myself again to be sure before starting a relationship. 2 weeks ago, My doctor did a swab & a urine test to cancel out herpes. It came back negative. I was beyond happy. Now, this is where it gets confusing. Seeing this guy, both having feelings for each other we had sex with protection & 2 days later i gave him oral sex . & that is all we have done. Protected sex, he fingered me,  i gave him oral sex & we have kissed alot. Now, a week later after that, that is when i began getting those symtoms & it was getting worse everyday. Today i found out that i do indeed have hsv 1 & i am petrified telling my new boy. It is early & i dont know how he will react either. + he knows everyone in my area so if it ever gets out i dont know how i will live with myself knowing people know i have this. Its not something to be ashamed about, but the whole social stigma about it makes me worry. Im really upset about it & crying while im writing this. My doctor didnt really tell me any info even after i asked. But because i have hsv1 on my genitals does that mean its not on my mouth & im fine to kiss? I was thinking continuing to see him for a few weeks & if its something special i will tell him... but im just wondering if kissing is okay.. + could i have got this of him? Any info or opinions would be grately appreciated. Thank you 
    • YellowFish
      By YellowFish
      I was just recently diagnosed with HSV1 but the outbreak is on my vagina and I do not have any cold sores on my mouth.  I thought it was ok to kiss the man I've been dating and give him oral since I don't have any sores on my mouth.  But now both he and I are panicking that I may have passed it to him unknowingly.  What exactly is the risk?  What should I do?  What should he do?  I just started taking the medication today and we were kissing last night.  I feel so stupid for not knowing it could still present a risk.  
    • Leemell48
      By Leemell48
      Sorry for posting so much but I feel like I keep getting more symptoms everyday. Today I just noticed open sores on my gumlines by my teeth. They don't hurt but I'm terrified since I also have painful tiny red bumps on tongue and throat. I feel like herpes is taking over my body. I'm constantly anxious looking at my body with a mirror at every pain i have. I'm just so lost here  
    • flowerblossom245
      By flowerblossom245
      I was recently diagnosed with HSV 1 a week ago and the emotional strain has been horrible. I’m the type of person who hates the unknown, so I’m trying to figure out if I have it genitally or orally. I had sex with someone who has been tested for herpes, but he doesn’t remember which strain he has. He hasn’t had an outbreak in years and has taken medicine, so my doctor initially said the chance was extremely low that he gave it to me (especially because it was only for about 1 min and that was it.) I get mouth ulcers regularly and I also get what I believe is a cold sore right in the corner of my mouth (which I’ve read isn’t a real cold sore?) so I’m wondering if that’s why I tested positive. We had sex a month and a half ago, and the symptoms started about a week and a half ago. Burning while peeing, and the occasional itching. When my doctor looked (she also did a Pap smear) she said she saw no lesions which I took as a good sign. I’ve been taking Valtrex for 5 days now but my symptoms haven’t improved at all. I just need people to talk to who know how I’m feeling. Thank you all 
  • Trending Now

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
      68,821
    • Total Posts
      460,233
  • Posts

    • Blanca2018
      Has anyone tried Longdanxiegan (LDXGFG) as a treatment? There seems to be scientific evidence of great results in animal trials. This is the link to the study https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1028455916000322. It is a Traditional Chinese Medicine formula that now has won some scientific attention. I have previous experience using Traditional Chinese Medicine for improving symptoms of another rare diseases I suffer and, seeing this has been backed by some research, I am considering giving it a try. Thanks to all contributors to this forum for all the valuable information shared.
    • tayelle
      Wow this is very sad that this man committed suicide from hsv. We've all been there with depressive states. I think the numbers are accurate...no more than 15% have hsv2. Every forum I join, its low numbers compared to other diseases. 
    • theuniversesucks
      yep going into my sixth year , constant constant scrotum tingling , when i say constant i mean 365 for the last 5 years , been living on autopilot , dead inside .
    • theuniversesucks
      thats amazing , sign me up for a shipment , can you use your transporter to ship the goods ?
    • KG303
      Me either. I got it from someone I truly cared about and in my experience it’s been hell because I was so hurt over the fact that he put my health at risk without even caring of the consequences because I was so good to him. He was in college starving so I would offer to buy him groceries, I would always be there when he was having a tough time and give him encouragement, and in the end he ignores me but still can go out and party. So maybe I was better off catching it from someone I didn’t care about. Maybe then i wouldn’t be as emotional over it. I feel like if I would’ve just got it from a one night stand I could be like oh yeah well shit happens, but getting it from someone I would’ve done anything for just ain’t fair because I was good to him and I know some people may not know they have it but he was sleeping with multiple women but acting like he wasn’t. If we’re having sex you should care about me enough to let me know what’s going on so I won’t sleep with you anymore if you’re wilding out that crazy but whatever. 
×

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.