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Hello my boyfriend and I stop having sex he feels like he can’t have sex with my the way he wants.  We doesn’t have herpes but I do we use condoms he hates them and he wants to give me oral but feels he can’t.  Any suggestions on how to keep our sex life going. 

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What type of herpes do you have? Do you get outbreaks often? Do you take antivirals?

I've got a lot to say, but not sure you'll like it - he is not being reasonable or fair in projecting his insecurities into restrictions on your sexual enjoyment.

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Anything you guys do there's going to be risk on his part. Oral, vaginal, protected, unprotected, antivirals or not, outbreaks or not there is always going to be a risk. He might have already gotten it from you and doesn't have symptoms. It's a tricky virus. What I think you may want to do. Is get him tested. See if he's infected. If he has hsv2 then you may not need condoms. But let's say he doesn't have any form of hsv. If he can't have sex with you. You should sit down and talk about it. What he's comfortable with, what you are comfortable with. If you can't come to some middle ground it may be best to break up. This just an opinion and that's all. But you should let him know that no matter what preventative measures you take there's no guarantees. If he cannot live with that than it may be the right thing to separate. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you or that he's shallow. And it doesn't mean you aren't a valuable person. Give it a go. Best of luck.

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only have sex when feeling 100 percent ..  but if ya not staying together use safe sex . he thank you in the future. haha .  gotta put a ring on it to take off the rubber . haha .  you healthy as a ox probably kay .. this isnt long term no . maybe he has a worse disease . haha / ignorant to possible nightmare  . you usually are if healthy you can't even imagine . .

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I think you just need to tell him this is part of you and if he really loves all of you he needs to change his way of thinking ASAP, because as one of the posters said there are no guarantees.  If he likes to please you get a vibrator and show him what you like then let him use it on  you, its not oral, but he can make it fun. Put the condom on him and make that fun since he hates them. Get some dental dams and try those,so he can give you oral,during the HIV/AIDS they came out ,so they may be a lot better now. He has fingers and you both have hands so use them[lol].I think you just have to use your imagination to keep it interesting and the main thing is he has to want to be into doing things differently now. . 

Edited by Nightmare7575
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  • 5 months later...

Yes, we were. My last relationship was 12 years. If either of us had an outbreak, we would not have any contact. In the beginning I used condoms but she didn't like them. I only get cold sores from cold or flu. Genital OB's from severe stress.

The  guy that posted about Moringa seeds had good info. I will be trying that.

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