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Mimi89

Should I sue?

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Mimi89

This guy that I’ve known for the past 8 months gave me hsv 2. The same day my doctor confirmed that it was herpes, I called and told him because he was the only person I’ve been with and I started showing symptoms 24-48 hours afterwards. The problem that I’m having with him is that he has every excuse in the world to not send me his latest results and claims that “he’s good”. I live in NJ and he lives in NY so I’m not sure how the process will go but I need answers 

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Taintedgirl
Posted (edited)

I understand that you’re upset but I dont see how suing him will change anything. This situation sucks and if you can’t be talked out of it then go ahead and sue but I think you just need to move on. The guy is a jerk for giving you herpes like so many of us on here who were not told but just love your life and  forget about him. honestly giving him the time and energy will allow him to hurt you time and time again.

Edited by Taintedgirl

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Mackie82
8 hours ago, Taintedgirl said:

I understand that you’re upset but I dont see how suing him will change anything. This situation sucks and if you can’t be talked out of it then go ahead and sue but I think you just need to move on. The guy is a jerk for giving you herpes like so many of us on here who were not told but just love your life and  forget about him. honestly giving him the time and energy will allow him to hurt you time and time again.

You told me in deferent post that I should not plaim my giver who has passed it to me knowingly, and I should understand there’s risk of sleeping with someone. Now her giver is a jerk for giving her herpes ! Maybe he’s not aware of his infection and maybe he’s evil giver but you already decided he has passed it kwonigly and he’s a jerk. keep going with your lovely comments. Many thanks 

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Taintedgirl
19 minutes ago, Mackie82 said:

You told me in deferent post that I should not plaim my giver who has passed it to me knowingly, and I should understand there’s risk of sleeping with someone. Now her giver is a jerk for giving her herpes ! Maybe he’s not aware of his infection and maybe he’s evil giver but you already decided he has passed it kwonigly and he’s a jerk. keep going with your lovely comments. Many thanks 

Seriously some of you on this site need to get over your weird obsession with me like you and that other girl are always on my comments it’s weird. You never mentioned that it was passed knowingly I didn’t and still don’t know anything about you besides that you blame everybody but yourself for your herpes. She took the risk which is why I’m telling her suing won’t solve anything. He won’t provide her with the information she needs that is what makes him a jerk. This is the last time I’m addressing you this site is big enough for the both of us. Have a nice life 

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Mimi89

@Taintedgirl For the most part I feel at peace from the love and support that I get from family, friends, and this site. However, his denial and noncompliance is how others end up getting infected and that’s not fair. 

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Taintedgirl
Posted (edited)
23 minutes ago, Mimi89 said:

@Taintedgirl For the most part I feel at peace from the love and support that I get from family, friends, and this site. However, his denial and noncompliance is how others end up getting infected and that’s not fair. 

I know how you feel. You want him to step up and be a man about it maybe even get an apology and you want to protect others but unfortunately people like him aren’t going to do the right thing. You’re lucky you have a strong support system outside this site that’s more than most.

Edited by Taintedgirl

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justanothersufferer
10 hours ago, Mimi89 said:

This guy that I’ve known for the past 8 months gave me hsv 2. The same day my doctor confirmed that it was herpes, I called and told him because he was the only person I’ve been with and I started showing symptoms 24-48 hours afterwards. The problem that I’m having with him is that he has every excuse in the world to not send me his latest results and claims that “he’s good”. I live in NJ and he lives in NY so I’m not sure how the process will go but I need answers 

I don't quite get it. So you had sex with him, prior, you specifically asked if he had herpes based on his test results before having sex with him?

I only ask cause I asked my partner if she had any diseases before having sex with her, she said no nothing. Low and behold I have herpes now, which I found out with my STD testing when I spoke to my doctor that NO WE DON'T TEST FOR HERPES IN A STANDARD STD TEST. Sure enough, doctors tell you, you don't have any STD's, but never mention that they don't test for herpes. It is in fact a normal practice.

I'm just saying, he may not have known, as my partner has no symptoms and said she didn't have "anything" before we had sex. Am I annoyed I have this for life? Yep! but it really wont change a thing in my life. Best thing that can be done is people realize that herpes testing isn't a normal thing.

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Mackie82
2 hours ago, Taintedgirl said:

Seriously some of you on this site need to get over your weird obsession with me like you and that other girl are always on my comments it’s weird. You never mentioned that it was passed knowingly I didn’t and still don’t know anything about you besides that you blame everybody but yourself for your herpes. She took the risk which is why I’m telling her suing won’t solve anything. He won’t provide her with the information she needs that is what makes him a jerk. This is the last time I’m addressing you this site is big enough for the both of us. Have a nice life 

The same you and some others for me and for many members. Thanks 

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Mimi89

@justanothersufferer we talked about STI’s last year on August 25 and again on March 2 when I specifically stated that it was herpes. Initially I gave him the benefit of being asymptomatic but when I asked for his results it’s “oh I forgot to tell you I got tested on Tuesday” and he sends a pic of testing negative for HIV with the date covered. The excuses range from “I’ll send you the rest of my results when I get home” to “I can’t get a copy because they only give test results over the phone.” If we could’ve talked it out like adults things would’ve been fine but I feel as though he knew something was off which is why he refuses to share the results 

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Mackie82
58 minutes ago, Mimi89 said:

@justanothersufferer we talked about STI’s last year on August 25 and again on March 2 when I specifically stated that it was herpes. Initially I gave him the benefit of being asymptomatic but when I asked for his results it’s “oh I forgot to tell you I got tested on Tuesday” and he sends a pic of testing negative for HIV with the date covered. The excuses range from “I’ll send you the rest of my results when I get home” to “I can’t get a copy because they only give test results over the phone.” If we could’ve talked it out like adults things would’ve been fine but I feel as though he knew something was off which is why he refuses to share the results 

Then he’s evil giver full stop. And if some idiot will tell you, you accepted to sleep with him and you took the risk tell her you are IDIOT, because the evil givers when they don’t disclose and pass it knowingly that address their intention to infect us. To hell with very single evil giver who’s passing it knowingly. Thanks 

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true_blue

@Mimi89

I think that if you have the time, energy and financial resources to sue him then you should. Just the fact that he keeps changing his excuses 3 different times and even covered the date of his hiv test is basically an admission of guilt. The hiv test he was able to get a copy of but not for herpes? Wouldn't he get tested in the same place? That doesn't make sense to me. I would bet that this guy is a predator. It may be too late for you but you could at least do this to protect other women from becoming infected. Once you put the fear inside of him through legal pressure he might think twice about failing to disclose his herpes status. 

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Patrick Henry

 @true_blue @Mimi89 I say no not to sue, we are far too litigious as it stands and we are all here because we are victims for the most part we are infected with a common virus. The lawsuits give us more a reason to be fearful, I want to live in a world where people understand if I am being responsible and on antivirals the chances of passing it are so insignificant that you don't have to really disclose, The point is this we are people like everyone else, the gays get acceptance before we have, we have a right to be loved and not live in fear that we can be retaliated against. Also their isn't exactly proof beyond a reasonable doubt when you expressed your first outbreak and who caused it.

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Quest

I think it is very easy to prove that you didn't know you had it. Whether he is honest or not. An easy way to lose tons of money. I am defending myself in a case right now and I have shelled out 23k and we have not gotten started for the most part. He can pretend he didn't know. I do agree with Patrick, we are all victims.

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true_blue

@Patrick Henry

Quote

I say no not to sue, we are far too litigious as it stands and we are all here because we are victims for the most part we are infected with a common virus. The lawsuits give us more a reason to be fearful,

He didn't disclose he had it and he keeps running away. He broke the law and will probably infect someone else.

Quote

I want to live in a world where people understand if I am being responsible and on antivirals the chances of passing it are so insignificant that you don't have to really disclose,

This is not reality, this is an awful disease that drives some people to commit suicide.

Quote

The point is this we are people like everyone else, the gays get acceptance before we have, we have a right to be loved and not live in fear that we can be retaliated against. Also their isn't exactly proof beyond a reasonable doubt when you expressed your first outbreak and who caused it.

As long as he was honest with her there would be no retaliation. He lied through omission. She said he was the only guy she has ever been with sexually. If he did nothing wrong he wouldn't keep avoiding her. Nothing to fear nothing to hide.

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true_blue
16 hours ago, Quest said:

I think it is very easy to prove that you didn't know you had it. Whether he is honest or not. An easy way to lose tons of money. I am defending myself in a case right now and I have shelled out 23k and we have not gotten started for the most part. He can pretend he didn't know. I do agree with Patrick, we are all victims.

It's definitely an investment that only Mimi can decide if it is worth it. Even an implied legal threat would be better than nothing. This guy is just going to infect someone else.

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Quest
5 hours ago, true_blue said:

It's definitely an investment that only Mimi can decide if it is worth it. Even an implied legal threat would be better than nothing. This guy is just going to infect someone else.

You got that right! 

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Patrick Henry
On ‎3‎/‎18‎/‎2018 at 9:54 PM, true_blue said:

@Patrick Henry

He didn't disclose he had it and he keeps running away. He broke the law and will probably infect someone else.

This is not reality, this is an awful disease that drives some people to commit suicide.

As long as he was honest with her there would be no retaliation. He lied through omission. She said he was the only guy she has ever been with sexually. If he did nothing wrong he wouldn't keep avoiding her. Nothing to fear nothing to hide.

True blue it is not an awful disease, hell the reason we are facing so much stigma is because people are not informed of the truth, we would rather stay hidden in the shadows then educate, I am not within the CDC database and have gotten quality antivirals and been responsible, but I refuse to be a target for a simple skin condition. get over yourself, Give us liberty or give us death but don't make us out to be pariahs, the blacks scream for equal rights, the trannys scream for equal rights, the gays get equal rights yet we are in the dark ages I think we all deserve better. Shame on someone for saying to sue, the stats are simple people aren't disclosing because people see too much of a stigma. 1 in 4 women has HSV 20 percent of men have it yet we are looked at as alone because nobody stands up and says its wrong to make us feel less human, don't be conditioned because I highly doubt they all always disclose, if we are on antivirals and are shedding in a minimal fashion we are theoretically fine. but I refuse to accept being celibate as being honest and good gets me told that I am gross and judged negatively.   

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Quest

The guy probably feels like a worm! I would and that is a shame. Even when I asked they didn't test me. I bet they did the same thing to him. He is probably looking at his paperwork wondering why they didn't test him for hsv! My gynecologist would call and say everything is good! You are negative for any STD s and I believed him! How many people actually go and pick up their paperwork?  I actually regret going back to past relationships and scaring the hell out of them. They scrambled to get STD testing, then told me they were clean. I didn't know whether to believe them or not! I felt dirty disclosing! Less than! 

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Lukeherpwalker

Sueing people for knowing their hsv status but if they didnt know they had it (80 percent) then its ok ??? This type of thinking will make ppl never get tested for hsv because at least they didnt know right ??? Also u are aware if u have no symptoms most places won't even test u for hsv.....

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Patrick Henry

well not for nothing your better off going to private sources for the diagnosis, not for nothing staying clear and not letting you go into the database is good financial protection. I look at anybody who sues over this skin condition as people who are hurting all of us for a small amount of money that they think they can earn, yet they are doing nothing but spreading stigma, I would rather raise awareness on how it is harmless so I can live in a world I can disclose without having retaliation in an absurd manner without having to have a waiver signed and notarized to have fun in the bedroom.

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cheated-on

If you have the resources to do so, I don't see why you shouldn't, especially since he's being an ass about it and refusing to communicate with you or take precautions.

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true_blue
On 3/20/2018 at 1:03 AM, Patrick Henry said:

True blue it is not an awful disease, hell the reason we are facing so much stigma is because people are not informed of the truth, we would rather stay hidden in the shadows then educate, I am not within the CDC database and have gotten quality antivirals and been responsible, but I refuse to be a target for a simple skin condition. get over yourself, Give us liberty or give us death but don't make us out to be pariahs, the blacks scream for equal rights, the trannys scream for equal rights, the gays get equal rights yet we are in the dark ages I think we all deserve better. Shame on someone for saying to sue, the stats are simple people aren't disclosing because people see too much of a stigma. 1 in 4 women has HSV 20 percent of men have it yet we are looked at as alone because nobody stands up and says its wrong to make us feel less human, don't be conditioned because I highly doubt they all always disclose, if we are on antivirals and are shedding in a minimal fashion we are theoretically fine. but I refuse to accept being celibate as being honest and good gets me told that I am gross and judged negatively.   

Sorry but your wrong. For some of us in the minority is a truly awful disease that affects are nervous system

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