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SugarHoneyIceTea

This secret

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SugarHoneyIceTea

I have had this sti for about six years, I am crippled by fear and anxiety because of it. Well I have been dating my current boyfriend for about two months and still have not told him. Every time I try I fall short. Now I have even more anxiety and it’s affecting other relationships in my life. I am so very ready to heal. I don’t know how to approach the subject with my boyfriend now.

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LillianPanos

@SugarHoneyIceTea I didnt tell my bf for 6-8 weeks it was hard he knew something was up I of course started crying try not to do that. I asked him if he knew about fever blisters on the lips which is herpes 1, he did he had them as a child but not for quite sometime, I then explained I jsut got blisyers down there that the guy I was with befor him did not tell me. he was pissed that the guy didnt tell me, I had just been infected before I started dating him I met this bf by chance. I informed him I was just learning about it and we could learn together, I also asked him if he wanted to speak with a guy from this site about it. He spoke to JB. I asked my bf to get tested to find out if he had t, he got tested and had lo numbers for ha. We have been together 2 years. I suggest you inform him. Let me know how it goes. 

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SugarHoneyIceTea

I sure will thank you!

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SugarHoneyIceTea

I told him last night and he's still here. He wasn't angry or anything. .  . He said that it's manageable, he loves me and wants to make it work.

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  • The Hive is Thriving!

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    • Burty
      Coming back to report that after vaccinations in May and July, today I have one vesicle. Called the doctor and will report back later. Slightly pessimistic at this point. 
    • Cariad
      I think I need to treat this as an ocd thought (that I've got herpes) and not check myself compulsively, not seek constant reassurance from doctors and the internet, just try and forget about it. Re disclosure, I would tell future partners that i could have hsv but I don't know, all the visual examinations and tests I've had have come back negative but there's still a possibility that i have herpes. Then they can decide whether to take the risk. I always assume someone is positive for everything unless there are tests to prove otherwise. I don't do casual relationships so always get a full sexual health screening with my new partner so we can both be safe. But they could have herpes and not know as it's not routinely checked for. It's a risk for all parties involved. I spoke to herpes.org.uk helpline and Marion told me that blood tests are routinely bringing up false positives/negatives and that having the virus doesn't predict when and where you're going to have an ob. I therefore wouldn't trust the result of the test and would be repeatedly getting tested, as I did when my hiv ocd was really bad. That was a hugely stressful and anxious time and I don't want to go through that again!! Especially for a virus that can't kill you!! So I think I'm going to have to live with the uncertainty of having herpes obs and avoid sexual contact whenever I feel sore down below if/when I'm in a relationship.  Being on this forum is just exacerbating my Ocd, so I think that I should stop posting as it's reassurance-seeking. Wishing you all the best and thank you all for your help, advice and support. Remember - it's just a virus that billions of people have and doesn't make us dirty or unworthy of love or a good life. Stay safe and well xx
    • WilsoInAus
      And I’ll help you up until the second coming. I think this is an unhealthy dose of imaginitis as far as herpes is concerned. Wouldn’t you agree?
    • WilsoInAus
      Yes man that’s correct. I mean we don’t really want more people in the delusional room with mirrors that see nothing, do we?
    • WilsoInAus
      There’s nothing visually or in what you describe that is suggestive of herpes. See your doctor if you have concerns, there’s plenty of things on the list of possibilities here.
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